You heard about the very beginning of my day. Well Stephen finally got out of bed and decided it was time to set up the 5in1 printer I got him and Ash. Everyone was getting up and ready and they decided to take a family picture before they left.
Bambam finally got her video Christmas card. She said it was the best present that she had got. We watched it and when I heard my voice I cringed.. ...you could tell that I had not talked in a long time.
His family left and then everyone else left. Their exact words were you smell and we are tired of being around you so we are going to the store .....I cried.. ....ok so.. ..that is not true.. ..I did not go along because it was sleeting out and I did not want to risk mine or anyone else health.
So I was going to take a shower but the water was freezing. So I went and did some organizing. And made room in that closet for other things. They got back and we ate. Then most the after noon we have been playing Mario. ....I am good at it but I am done for the day.
Piglet came over and brought gifts.. ..now she is hanging out.
I am going to try and sleep in the room where I may end up in the back yard.. ..which means I got to make my bed.
My phone charger stuff is disappearing and do is everyone else. I think we need to color code things.. .our have a box for them.
So we will see how the night goes.
Monday, December 26, 2011
Mario
Christmas pt 2.....Christmas Day
so last night stephens family arrived an they were making fun of stephen a jess because when they pulled up to the house all they saw were them throwing their arms all around. it was funny. we got settled an ate...lasagna....that stephen cooked.....him an ash have both made lasagna an i am not a fan...but i ate it...and yuck does not even begin my distaste for lasagna....but we ate....even tho we talked about going out to get something....but that made me look like spoiled brat an i did not want that appeal on me so i ate the gross food. i would do it again tho. we ate an then visited some...then we went to bed. at first cady made it hard to get comfy but i fell asleep....i was up at 4 something....but i slept til then...and i watched as ash started waking up an got ready for work.....i was going to get up but before she went to bed i asked her an what i got was do not worry about it...and plus i did not want to scare the crap out of her....so cady got back up in the bed with me an i cuddled with her like a big stuffed animal.
7 came around an then 8 an i decided to be brave an go out of the bed room on my own. stephen was up....but i was still going to go on my own. i went out there an both his parents were up. watching tvland. i sat at the table an colored a pic.
we spent most the day playing the wii....and watching tv. jess went to church an i sat in the kitchen with stephen an his mom...than jess got back an we went an got food. we got bck an played the wii some more. i was frustrated to the point where i was ready to go off. so i took cady an we went an layed in bed an decided to just wait an get unfrustrated.
ash got home an that is when Christmas began. i was soooooooooooooo glad to see her. and just to let people know...when both stephen an ash are off to work i am sooooooooooo glad to see both them when they both get home. it was time to open gifts.....an i knew that i would most likely be getting clothes. just saying....man this was hilarious. we opened our gifts...after ash opened hers from stephen. jess was like brittany gave me lights....that was funny....i told her to look in the box....why would i give her lights?! i was right about the clothes....but i also got a few penguin things....my fav is the giant penguin. no joke. i love penguins. i got this penguin thing where yo blow it up n put it on your finger an hit it. well i was blowing it up....and it kept deflating. stephen looked over o ne the times i was trying to blow it up an he started laughing saying i looked over an she was turning blue. it was hilarious. no matter how i tried it would not stay full of air...so everyone else tried an then stephen...everyone being ash....and i was laughing so hard i thought my sides were going to break. it was funny watching him.
we got done an i went through the clothes...they had not done a bad job...there were 5 items that i thought would not fit or that i would not wear. then i did a lil cloth modeling for ash...because she demanded it. some of those shirts are goin to be undershirts. after that we sat down to eat.
it started off nice an then stephen started turning purple from laughing so hard. it was hilarious. there were 4 of us taht knew exactly what was going on and the others were trying to figure it out. i will not go into it.
dinner was good...i did not like the dressing tho. so i fed it to the dog. i am going to watch my fingers from now on around her because she tried taking them with her. we got done an had pie....it was good.
we finished an started cleaning up. it took forever to do dishes. i gave cady a leg bone from the turkey. then we got done an we made bambam a short christmas card video thing. i made ash and stephen be part of it. it was funny. stephen wanted me to say merry christmas so i practiced it in my head, not out loud, and when i tried to say it out loud the merry was murr an i was like nope, i am done. lol.
the day was done an we were ready for bed. i went in an got ready. i thought if i was in bed before cady jumped up there i could keep most of my covers.....i was wrong she got up there an put her face next to mine an just stared at me the whole time... stephen was moving around an i heard her growling....i guess she was being protective. we fell a sleep. i did not sleep good at all. i was up every hour. i had a dream we were in a school an i was refusing to do something an then i wanted help moving stuff an no one would help an the teachers changed rooms an my stuff disappeared so i was trying to find it. people were chasing me and i just wanted my stuff. some people from my basket ball team were in the dream....and the school was my old elementry school....well i woke up from taht dream an fell asleep again. i was walking down the street which was next to the college here in town. i was tired, it was night, an i was scared....someone, a guy came up an i was relieved. i let my body go an the man caught me. i was so relieved. i started crying....he kept telling me it was going to be alright and just held me....others started coming over to help....i woke up an i was crying....i was trying not to just sob...because others were sleeping.
so now i am up an it is the 26th. i am not sure what i am feeling right now. a part of me just wants to stay in bed....another part of me wants to go on a long walk.....and then there is the part of me that knows that i cannot do either one of those things.
so hopefully today will exclude the aunt texting me getting on to me about having a new phone, an abotu insurance an everything she said yesterday....and it will be a good day.
my first christmas was pretty good. it could have done without a few things. but i enjoyed it.
7 came around an then 8 an i decided to be brave an go out of the bed room on my own. stephen was up....but i was still going to go on my own. i went out there an both his parents were up. watching tvland. i sat at the table an colored a pic.
we spent most the day playing the wii....and watching tv. jess went to church an i sat in the kitchen with stephen an his mom...than jess got back an we went an got food. we got bck an played the wii some more. i was frustrated to the point where i was ready to go off. so i took cady an we went an layed in bed an decided to just wait an get unfrustrated.
ash got home an that is when Christmas began. i was soooooooooooooo glad to see her. and just to let people know...when both stephen an ash are off to work i am sooooooooooo glad to see both them when they both get home. it was time to open gifts.....an i knew that i would most likely be getting clothes. just saying....man this was hilarious. we opened our gifts...after ash opened hers from stephen. jess was like brittany gave me lights....that was funny....i told her to look in the box....why would i give her lights?! i was right about the clothes....but i also got a few penguin things....my fav is the giant penguin. no joke. i love penguins. i got this penguin thing where yo blow it up n put it on your finger an hit it. well i was blowing it up....and it kept deflating. stephen looked over o ne the times i was trying to blow it up an he started laughing saying i looked over an she was turning blue. it was hilarious. no matter how i tried it would not stay full of air...so everyone else tried an then stephen...everyone being ash....and i was laughing so hard i thought my sides were going to break. it was funny watching him.
we got done an i went through the clothes...they had not done a bad job...there were 5 items that i thought would not fit or that i would not wear. then i did a lil cloth modeling for ash...because she demanded it. some of those shirts are goin to be undershirts. after that we sat down to eat.
it started off nice an then stephen started turning purple from laughing so hard. it was hilarious. there were 4 of us taht knew exactly what was going on and the others were trying to figure it out. i will not go into it.
dinner was good...i did not like the dressing tho. so i fed it to the dog. i am going to watch my fingers from now on around her because she tried taking them with her. we got done an had pie....it was good.
we finished an started cleaning up. it took forever to do dishes. i gave cady a leg bone from the turkey. then we got done an we made bambam a short christmas card video thing. i made ash and stephen be part of it. it was funny. stephen wanted me to say merry christmas so i practiced it in my head, not out loud, and when i tried to say it out loud the merry was murr an i was like nope, i am done. lol.
the day was done an we were ready for bed. i went in an got ready. i thought if i was in bed before cady jumped up there i could keep most of my covers.....i was wrong she got up there an put her face next to mine an just stared at me the whole time... stephen was moving around an i heard her growling....i guess she was being protective. we fell a sleep. i did not sleep good at all. i was up every hour. i had a dream we were in a school an i was refusing to do something an then i wanted help moving stuff an no one would help an the teachers changed rooms an my stuff disappeared so i was trying to find it. people were chasing me and i just wanted my stuff. some people from my basket ball team were in the dream....and the school was my old elementry school....well i woke up from taht dream an fell asleep again. i was walking down the street which was next to the college here in town. i was tired, it was night, an i was scared....someone, a guy came up an i was relieved. i let my body go an the man caught me. i was so relieved. i started crying....he kept telling me it was going to be alright and just held me....others started coming over to help....i woke up an i was crying....i was trying not to just sob...because others were sleeping.
so now i am up an it is the 26th. i am not sure what i am feeling right now. a part of me just wants to stay in bed....another part of me wants to go on a long walk.....and then there is the part of me that knows that i cannot do either one of those things.
so hopefully today will exclude the aunt texting me getting on to me about having a new phone, an abotu insurance an everything she said yesterday....and it will be a good day.
my first christmas was pretty good. it could have done without a few things. but i enjoyed it.
Saturday, December 24, 2011
Christmas Eve
<p>I got maybe 10-20 mind of sleep the whole night last night and best believe I tried all night to sleep. Cady slept well. 4 am came and I was like ugh ....then six came and I decided that Cady being in my face was not a big deal. Finally I saw the sun was coming up and I knew it was almost 7. So I got up and figured if Cady was on the chain she would think she could not go far even though it was not in the ground. And the only time I gave her was time to go per. Her and the dog across the alley like to have barking wars. Cady came in and I was doing dishes just like I told Ash I would. The water was not hot at all. <br>
Stephen earlier had gone out the front door to be the neighborhood creep and stare at people like he does several times a day.. ..and I had no clue he was up. So I was getting ready to go into the kitchen and noticed the front door was cracked.. ..so I started to freak wondering if we had left it open all night. So I slowly started walking to the door ready to do some thing...I packed and saw Stephen standing there staring at the neighbors ....so I unplugged my phone and went and got the stuff out of the dryer than did dishes.. .now I am back where I left off. I was in the middle of doing dishes and Stephen walked in with laundry scared the crap out of me. He looks at me and says Ash is going to kill you if she walls in here and sees you doing that.. .I shrugged.
They left to go to Walmart and I finished the dishes, switched laundry over, and folded blankets. And I started heating the water in the tea pot.
They got back and we have been playing the Wii for most the morning. Stephen keeps killing himself and then kills me in the process.that is the way it goes tho...half the time you die because you are not being careful or you die because someone else killed you or helped kill you.
Jess got us all subway....i was hungry. i ate the whole foot. it was great, well sorta. i guess i am ready for lasagna for dinner....yuck. lol...no joke.
we got done with subway an decided to make gingerbread houses. oh my goodness. so at first we were sitting there an i was ready to walk away and not do it before we had even started. the last time i made a ginger bread house i was really really little. an this is one of the few good things that i remember from when i was like 3. i made it with my parents when they were still together. and we made it from scratch...it was amazing and big but it was prob only because i was little. i know there was a time i bought a kit an i begged an begged an begged my dad to make it with me an he kept making excuses or saying do it with someone else...i just wanted to do it with him. so i almost left the table because i was ready to bawl. we started putting the house together....stephen an ash had one an jess an i had one. with i
even the first 10 mins, i think, i broke the front of the house piece. then i cut the frosting thing too far up....and the house kept falling apart...so there were times that i was laughing because of how stupidly funny it all was and other times because of that but also because i was trying to keep from crying. things turned out to be really really funny. we finished an jess an cady left. i was sitting at the table waiting for a wash clothe an then i decided i did not care if my hand stuck to my cane cuz i could clean it off. so i got up an washed my hands.
everyone started cleaning an i did the dishes, than i went an i got so jeans on, i just threw them on over my pj bottoms. and because i had smelt funny i changed shirts also. then i went an put my fav pj bottoms, i left the top at my dads house, on my bed for the weekend.
cady an i sat out side for a bit. than ash was like you have to come play the game with me.....today i have sucked at it. i am frustrated that i cannot just talk an tell everyone else what they need to do or how to do this or that....stephen an ash asked me if i played this in st jo an i said no. we have a ps2 but i have not played that because i do not know how to. so playing the wii after watching everyone else was a bit difficult. mainly because i want to watch my hands the whole time, or my fingers will not work with me...but apparently i kick ass on it.
everyone got ready for church...i was going to go but opted out at the last min because after walmart yesterday, i did not want to deal with a big crowd again. i was panicing. ash did tell me last week that i had to go because it was a family thing to do an it was christmas eve....so i freaked out because i ws sure she was going to make me go. i had the option of staying home alone or going to a church packed full of people. i chose to stay home alone, tho i really did not want too, i did.
so they left an i let cady go potty. we got in the house an there was a bunch of yelling coming from outside...yelling an fighting. i thot i was going to have to call the cops....that would have been a good call. just imagine it for yourself.
they are home now. and we are waiting for stephens family to arrive. christmas is tomorrow.....we will see how this all goes.
Stephen earlier had gone out the front door to be the neighborhood creep and stare at people like he does several times a day.. ..and I had no clue he was up. So I was getting ready to go into the kitchen and noticed the front door was cracked.. ..so I started to freak wondering if we had left it open all night. So I slowly started walking to the door ready to do some thing...I packed and saw Stephen standing there staring at the neighbors ....so I unplugged my phone and went and got the stuff out of the dryer than did dishes.. .now I am back where I left off. I was in the middle of doing dishes and Stephen walked in with laundry scared the crap out of me. He looks at me and says Ash is going to kill you if she walls in here and sees you doing that.. .I shrugged.
They left to go to Walmart and I finished the dishes, switched laundry over, and folded blankets. And I started heating the water in the tea pot.
They got back and we have been playing the Wii for most the morning. Stephen keeps killing himself and then kills me in the process.that is the way it goes tho...half the time you die because you are not being careful or you die because someone else killed you or helped kill you.
Jess got us all subway....i was hungry. i ate the whole foot. it was great, well sorta. i guess i am ready for lasagna for dinner....yuck. lol...no joke.
we got done with subway an decided to make gingerbread houses. oh my goodness. so at first we were sitting there an i was ready to walk away and not do it before we had even started. the last time i made a ginger bread house i was really really little. an this is one of the few good things that i remember from when i was like 3. i made it with my parents when they were still together. and we made it from scratch...it was amazing and big but it was prob only because i was little. i know there was a time i bought a kit an i begged an begged an begged my dad to make it with me an he kept making excuses or saying do it with someone else...i just wanted to do it with him. so i almost left the table because i was ready to bawl. we started putting the house together....stephen an ash had one an jess an i had one. with i
even the first 10 mins, i think, i broke the front of the house piece. then i cut the frosting thing too far up....and the house kept falling apart...so there were times that i was laughing because of how stupidly funny it all was and other times because of that but also because i was trying to keep from crying. things turned out to be really really funny. we finished an jess an cady left. i was sitting at the table waiting for a wash clothe an then i decided i did not care if my hand stuck to my cane cuz i could clean it off. so i got up an washed my hands.
everyone started cleaning an i did the dishes, than i went an i got so jeans on, i just threw them on over my pj bottoms. and because i had smelt funny i changed shirts also. then i went an put my fav pj bottoms, i left the top at my dads house, on my bed for the weekend.
cady an i sat out side for a bit. than ash was like you have to come play the game with me.....today i have sucked at it. i am frustrated that i cannot just talk an tell everyone else what they need to do or how to do this or that....stephen an ash asked me if i played this in st jo an i said no. we have a ps2 but i have not played that because i do not know how to. so playing the wii after watching everyone else was a bit difficult. mainly because i want to watch my hands the whole time, or my fingers will not work with me...but apparently i kick ass on it.
everyone got ready for church...i was going to go but opted out at the last min because after walmart yesterday, i did not want to deal with a big crowd again. i was panicing. ash did tell me last week that i had to go because it was a family thing to do an it was christmas eve....so i freaked out because i ws sure she was going to make me go. i had the option of staying home alone or going to a church packed full of people. i chose to stay home alone, tho i really did not want too, i did.
so they left an i let cady go potty. we got in the house an there was a bunch of yelling coming from outside...yelling an fighting. i thot i was going to have to call the cops....that would have been a good call. just imagine it for yourself.
they are home now. and we are waiting for stephens family to arrive. christmas is tomorrow.....we will see how this all goes.
Friday, December 23, 2011
Wii
Stephen got a Wii for Christmas and he got to open it early. Mario came with it. So far on every game I have done pretty well at kicking Stephens butt. I think after a week he will be so fed up with me that he will not let me play.. .or that is let me play at the same time as him.
Tomorrow is Christmas eve and Stephens family will arrive. I am nervous.. .ok freaking out to be honest but since Stephen and Ash are my grandparents then I should be excited to meet my great grand family.. .right?!and in a way I am. Tomorrow we are going to make ginger bead houses I think. Then we are going to go back to that church possibly two times in less than 24 hours. ..ugh!
My brother is still in the hospital. Him an I have been taking a but more than usual lately which I enjoy.
Dad got his gift and opened it. He says he likes it and should since it is an Elvis item. He lives Elvis hence his dog being named Elvis.
Today has been a good day. Minus a few bad spots including Walmart which freaked me out. Too many people.. .no joke
I think with the Wii it will help with pt which will be good. I closed the trunk on the SUV and almost made a new friend in the ground.
Last few weeks I have not been sleeping well at all. And the dreams.. .I think everyone here should be grateful that I have not been screaming in my sleep. No joke. I have not even stated the dreams that are really bad.
I have been keeping some things to myself because I am terrified. Esp with the things that have gone on this week.
I have only been getting a few hours of sleep at night. My legs and head have been hurrying more than usual. I will wake up in the mid of the night and when I sit up I will start to get a bloody nose. Throughout the day I have been getting really dizzy.
Today I was so cold that I put on 2 r reg ts and then a long sleeve then a sweater a hoodie and then my jacket. I have been shaking all day to.
Well this weekend is going to be long but short and I just hope I make it through it.
Wednesday, December 21, 2011
st jo
yesterday was an ok day...frustrating but ok. i woke up an sat with ash...than i waited for everyone else to get up. which took a long time..cady an i just layed on the couch watching fred claus. stephen an i spent most the day chatting an sitting around watching movies....
ash got home from work an we all went to columbia...while waiting for them so we could leave...i made a makeshift ramp to get in an out of the laundry room and kitchen...it will build muscle in my arms for sho...esp since the floor is slanted.
we were on the way to columbia an i could not help but to close my eyes. we got to hobby lobby an we were not sure they had wheelchairs but, ta da, they did, and it was my bright idea to bring mine with us, which we did not use..so we went around hobby lobby an got gifts...ash an i picked one out for jess an ash is like take off your hoodie...so i did an covered the gift...i was waiting to get stopped by security an be charged with shop lifting...no joke. we got done an then we went to steak an shake...the mushrooms on my burger were amazing...before we got in the store we were crossing the parking lot....and i almost got run over by this elderly couple backing up. they were not paying attention, everyone else was getting upset an stuffa n i was just like should i wait or continue..n then i thought well if they hit me, it would not be the worst thing to happen to me. the whole time we were in the place stephen was pretty mad....he wanted to go tell them off, an they were sitting a few tables behind us. then jess thought the waitress was being rude to me an i was like she was just doing her job, prob tired, an ready to get off. maybe she had not had the best customers...i thought she did a good job. we got done we went to go pay...i walked out the door...i was tired of standing..my legs were killing me n so was my head...if i had my choice i would not have walked any where....i know that sounds bad but that is how much my legs hurt. we got in the car an left...i closed my eyes an was half asleep...i kept hearing over an over again cat an sink.
we got home an i got out ...i was walking up the steps an half way i forgot what i was doing....but it did not last long. we got inside an i fixed up the couch from where cady had jumped off of it to run an greet us. i thought if i layed on the couch i would fall sleep but it did not happen. so i went an joined everyone an we watched stephen wrap the gifts. well about 30 mins had passed...i had taught jess an ash a few letters...and how to count to 20...even tho they helped me...i could not remember past 3...which means that i will get to taht later...we had traded seats an were watching stephen wrap the last gift...and his phone went off....ash answered it an a smile creeped over my fce....it was bambaam...jess looked at me all funny...i did not care...it was my bambam an i love my bambam. i covered my ears so i could not hear anything but ash...who talks loud... finally cady an i layed down on the couch n jess went to her room...she could have stayed out an watched the rest of that movie...i would have just fell a sleep. i unplugged everything but my fan which i instead plugged in...and i and cady went to sleep. 2 am an i was up. when i wake up that early i just lay on the couch...i do not turn on the tv or anythign else, an occassionally i let cady out. i turned off my alarm...and cady an i just kept each other company...she kept going bck an forth...at 528 i got up an let cady out....and turned on the tv. i sat at the table an ash joined me...we did not talk much....and then stephen sat at the table an we did not talk much. the only thing i remember them saying is ash said i look tired...and then them talking about toliet paper an the store. they left an i turned it to weather channel an then got on my faccebook.
so now i am watching tv an writing this an waiting for things to arrive an it to snow.
so remember earlier when i said i was half way up the steps an i forgot what i was doing, an that my legs were killing me to the point i did not even want to walk. ... this is what happens when pt basically becomes none exsistant. i could only count to 20 last night because ash was counting out loud. before that i could only count to 3...and i was trying hard to remember how to count. for a split second i forgot how to walk up the steps...this could cause problems...i get up an i walk to the kitchen or bathroom or car...but i think i am not working my legs enough. and my balance lately has been getting worse. a few days ago ash an i had got back from the store an she was like now do not you fall...i got up the steps n into the laundry room by the fridge an i went to take a step an my cane slipped, n this has been happening a lot...even more so now...and i lean on it pretty heavily, it scares me.
which leads me to sleep. i am barely sleeping at all. jasi did tell me there would be weeks where i would not sleep at all an weeks where that would be all i did...an i know this, i guess i did at least..that is how it was in the hospital. so why should it be any different now?
i sleep for 1-2 hours an then i am up, an it does not matter how tired i am, i do not go back to sleep in the mornings any more, and i may close my eyes but i rarely take a nap, all this in hopes that i will sleep through the whole night...my dreams have been crazy too. like they seem so real tho they are not real at all...like the one morning i did not get up to see ash an stephen off to work i could have swore that they had come back an were in the living room ....but it was a dream. then last night i had a dream stephen was showing me something at the table an it seemed real. it is a lot better than my dreams of me or others dying. or always being chased by people or tornadoes. or lately besides the death part is has been of friends being mad at me for talking and me being confused on whether i should talk or not. ....i guess they scare me, or are scary to me because of how much it stresses me out in real life.
so this talking thing. so far aside from what i said to piglet, i have said i love you too, yes, no, hello, and thank you....and cady. lol. it lit scares me to talk...i am not sure what i am trying to say will be what i will say, and therefore i do not want to sound like the dumb retarded fool i am...and some words i am not sure how to say...those words i have heard a lot...i told ash the other night i would have said yum but i want not sure how too. and even tho she said it a few times i just could not get it in my head. plus when i do talk it hurts my throat a lot an my head.. i am not sure why it hurts my head but it does. then it scares me...and then i get excited an then scared agin....it is just weird.
i think part of my problem with my head hurting is that i have had my glasses for 5 years almost an have not been able to get them updated...so i need new perscription an glasses or contacts. lol. they do not even stay on my head because they are so loose an old. so i am thinking that if and when i go back to st. jo for a week or two i will see if i can work those two week an get 180 like i should if not more and make an app to get a new perscript. i think last time i got my eyes checked was not too long ago and the lady had me take the read the letters from this row test. she asked me to read the second line so i started to an after the 3rd letter she is like there is only two letters....hahaha...oops. so i need to do something about my eyes lol.
my memory is a pain in my butt. forgetting how to get up steps, forgetting how to count, forgetting everything that happened the day before or even a few hours ago is dumb. i am going to get a calandar or something to mark off so i know when i take my vitamins so i do not take them more than once a day.ash was joking about something last night but it was a real good idea...well part of it...she said i guess i should put sticky notes all over the house saying what things are in creol...well instead of doing that maybe in english, there are somethings that i have no clue what they are....it is prob dumb idea...lol. i know that i need to do stuff soon. i asked my brother if he knew where my flash cards are...still waiting to hear from him.
this morning i talked to my dad on facebook for a bit....remember how just a few days ago...those two guys broke into my dads house? an slashed his tires? well early this am dustin was out an about an they jumped him. he will not press charges..he is in the hospital with a partially collapsed lung. and it is all my fault. i am pissed the hell off by this all. my family may not be the greatest but when you have an issue with me an you go after them, best better believe that i will hunt you down....i am ready to go kick their asses....i am thankful that so far it has not turned into something worse with my brother. i just wish it did not happen. my dad an my aunt are there at his hospital bed side...
i sent a email to the people on my case telling them, one i do not understand why they refuse to do anything about the house an car....and two...telling them that i do not think st jo is a safe place for me to be. so i told them everything....so now i just wait.
right now i am paranoid an scared out of my mind...i want to go kick ass but i know that i cannot...so that leaves me to this, hiding in my bed. every time a person walks by the front of the house or a car goes down the side street i slouch down some, i have constantly checked the doors to make sure they are locked, my phone is charged, the slightest sound or movement scares the crud out of me....sometimes i wonder if this is how my life will always be....living in hidden state of fear..waiting for something bad to walk right through the door, looking over my shoulder to see wht is going on.
it has not been bad until i found out what happened to dustin.so i hope i sleep tonight...
so my phone is still not working...pisses me off...but i am getting a new one an a new number an hopefully this is the last one for a long long time...no joke. for this i am very thankful...no joke...no joke. i am trying to get one of my family members to buy my old phone from me. the one that i just bought a month or two ago an spent over 150 on. now i am just waitning to hear from my dad on what my checking balance is. i left my debit card with them to pay for the stuff on the car. the car in which i think i am just going to give to my aunt....or tell them they can use it for the next few months, depending on what the response is to that email.
i am sad a bout leaving bubbles in st. jo...maybe she can come visit.....tho it scares me that her an cady will not get along. i thought maybe if i got a job that paid 10-15 a week...like doing something for someone, something easy that i can an am able to do, that just maybe i could get a pup....but i do not want to scare cady an i do not want anyone to lose sleep. i do remember, only because i am thinking about this subject, a conversation that me an one of the therapist had. they asked if i had any pets an i told the person what we have. they said taht is great an will help with therapy. which proves to be true...i could not move my arms very good until a few days after i got home, same with my hands....after a few days of playing with the dogs an other animals, an petting them...my arm movement got better. same is said here too. with cady my stepping has improved an bending over has gotten easier.
my hair is annoying me. it is conforming to my scars so when my hair is out of place, it is usu in the spot where a scar is...speaking of hair...i think i need a hair cut soon.
so it is no surpise taht i am a jerk. i am mean. i am selfish. i am not who i used to be. i will just leave it at that.
so last bid of business..christmas. i am not sure what i expected. they said it is a day you give gifts so i got gifts an wrapped them....i am sstill not sure waht christmas is. ok i have no idea what it is at all. i just know that everyone around me is trying to make it an awesome one. it already is awesome...just saying.
ash got home from work an we all went to columbia...while waiting for them so we could leave...i made a makeshift ramp to get in an out of the laundry room and kitchen...it will build muscle in my arms for sho...esp since the floor is slanted.
we were on the way to columbia an i could not help but to close my eyes. we got to hobby lobby an we were not sure they had wheelchairs but, ta da, they did, and it was my bright idea to bring mine with us, which we did not use..so we went around hobby lobby an got gifts...ash an i picked one out for jess an ash is like take off your hoodie...so i did an covered the gift...i was waiting to get stopped by security an be charged with shop lifting...no joke. we got done an then we went to steak an shake...the mushrooms on my burger were amazing...before we got in the store we were crossing the parking lot....and i almost got run over by this elderly couple backing up. they were not paying attention, everyone else was getting upset an stuffa n i was just like should i wait or continue..n then i thought well if they hit me, it would not be the worst thing to happen to me. the whole time we were in the place stephen was pretty mad....he wanted to go tell them off, an they were sitting a few tables behind us. then jess thought the waitress was being rude to me an i was like she was just doing her job, prob tired, an ready to get off. maybe she had not had the best customers...i thought she did a good job. we got done we went to go pay...i walked out the door...i was tired of standing..my legs were killing me n so was my head...if i had my choice i would not have walked any where....i know that sounds bad but that is how much my legs hurt. we got in the car an left...i closed my eyes an was half asleep...i kept hearing over an over again cat an sink.
we got home an i got out ...i was walking up the steps an half way i forgot what i was doing....but it did not last long. we got inside an i fixed up the couch from where cady had jumped off of it to run an greet us. i thought if i layed on the couch i would fall sleep but it did not happen. so i went an joined everyone an we watched stephen wrap the gifts. well about 30 mins had passed...i had taught jess an ash a few letters...and how to count to 20...even tho they helped me...i could not remember past 3...which means that i will get to taht later...we had traded seats an were watching stephen wrap the last gift...and his phone went off....ash answered it an a smile creeped over my fce....it was bambaam...jess looked at me all funny...i did not care...it was my bambam an i love my bambam. i covered my ears so i could not hear anything but ash...who talks loud... finally cady an i layed down on the couch n jess went to her room...she could have stayed out an watched the rest of that movie...i would have just fell a sleep. i unplugged everything but my fan which i instead plugged in...and i and cady went to sleep. 2 am an i was up. when i wake up that early i just lay on the couch...i do not turn on the tv or anythign else, an occassionally i let cady out. i turned off my alarm...and cady an i just kept each other company...she kept going bck an forth...at 528 i got up an let cady out....and turned on the tv. i sat at the table an ash joined me...we did not talk much....and then stephen sat at the table an we did not talk much. the only thing i remember them saying is ash said i look tired...and then them talking about toliet paper an the store. they left an i turned it to weather channel an then got on my faccebook.
so now i am watching tv an writing this an waiting for things to arrive an it to snow.
so remember earlier when i said i was half way up the steps an i forgot what i was doing, an that my legs were killing me to the point i did not even want to walk. ... this is what happens when pt basically becomes none exsistant. i could only count to 20 last night because ash was counting out loud. before that i could only count to 3...and i was trying hard to remember how to count. for a split second i forgot how to walk up the steps...this could cause problems...i get up an i walk to the kitchen or bathroom or car...but i think i am not working my legs enough. and my balance lately has been getting worse. a few days ago ash an i had got back from the store an she was like now do not you fall...i got up the steps n into the laundry room by the fridge an i went to take a step an my cane slipped, n this has been happening a lot...even more so now...and i lean on it pretty heavily, it scares me.
which leads me to sleep. i am barely sleeping at all. jasi did tell me there would be weeks where i would not sleep at all an weeks where that would be all i did...an i know this, i guess i did at least..that is how it was in the hospital. so why should it be any different now?
i sleep for 1-2 hours an then i am up, an it does not matter how tired i am, i do not go back to sleep in the mornings any more, and i may close my eyes but i rarely take a nap, all this in hopes that i will sleep through the whole night...my dreams have been crazy too. like they seem so real tho they are not real at all...like the one morning i did not get up to see ash an stephen off to work i could have swore that they had come back an were in the living room ....but it was a dream. then last night i had a dream stephen was showing me something at the table an it seemed real. it is a lot better than my dreams of me or others dying. or always being chased by people or tornadoes. or lately besides the death part is has been of friends being mad at me for talking and me being confused on whether i should talk or not. ....i guess they scare me, or are scary to me because of how much it stresses me out in real life.
so this talking thing. so far aside from what i said to piglet, i have said i love you too, yes, no, hello, and thank you....and cady. lol. it lit scares me to talk...i am not sure what i am trying to say will be what i will say, and therefore i do not want to sound like the dumb retarded fool i am...and some words i am not sure how to say...those words i have heard a lot...i told ash the other night i would have said yum but i want not sure how too. and even tho she said it a few times i just could not get it in my head. plus when i do talk it hurts my throat a lot an my head.. i am not sure why it hurts my head but it does. then it scares me...and then i get excited an then scared agin....it is just weird.
i think part of my problem with my head hurting is that i have had my glasses for 5 years almost an have not been able to get them updated...so i need new perscription an glasses or contacts. lol. they do not even stay on my head because they are so loose an old. so i am thinking that if and when i go back to st. jo for a week or two i will see if i can work those two week an get 180 like i should if not more and make an app to get a new perscript. i think last time i got my eyes checked was not too long ago and the lady had me take the read the letters from this row test. she asked me to read the second line so i started to an after the 3rd letter she is like there is only two letters....hahaha...oops. so i need to do something about my eyes lol.
my memory is a pain in my butt. forgetting how to get up steps, forgetting how to count, forgetting everything that happened the day before or even a few hours ago is dumb. i am going to get a calandar or something to mark off so i know when i take my vitamins so i do not take them more than once a day.ash was joking about something last night but it was a real good idea...well part of it...she said i guess i should put sticky notes all over the house saying what things are in creol...well instead of doing that maybe in english, there are somethings that i have no clue what they are....it is prob dumb idea...lol. i know that i need to do stuff soon. i asked my brother if he knew where my flash cards are...still waiting to hear from him.
this morning i talked to my dad on facebook for a bit....remember how just a few days ago...those two guys broke into my dads house? an slashed his tires? well early this am dustin was out an about an they jumped him. he will not press charges..he is in the hospital with a partially collapsed lung. and it is all my fault. i am pissed the hell off by this all. my family may not be the greatest but when you have an issue with me an you go after them, best better believe that i will hunt you down....i am ready to go kick their asses....i am thankful that so far it has not turned into something worse with my brother. i just wish it did not happen. my dad an my aunt are there at his hospital bed side...
i sent a email to the people on my case telling them, one i do not understand why they refuse to do anything about the house an car....and two...telling them that i do not think st jo is a safe place for me to be. so i told them everything....so now i just wait.
right now i am paranoid an scared out of my mind...i want to go kick ass but i know that i cannot...so that leaves me to this, hiding in my bed. every time a person walks by the front of the house or a car goes down the side street i slouch down some, i have constantly checked the doors to make sure they are locked, my phone is charged, the slightest sound or movement scares the crud out of me....sometimes i wonder if this is how my life will always be....living in hidden state of fear..waiting for something bad to walk right through the door, looking over my shoulder to see wht is going on.
it has not been bad until i found out what happened to dustin.so i hope i sleep tonight...
so my phone is still not working...pisses me off...but i am getting a new one an a new number an hopefully this is the last one for a long long time...no joke. for this i am very thankful...no joke...no joke. i am trying to get one of my family members to buy my old phone from me. the one that i just bought a month or two ago an spent over 150 on. now i am just waitning to hear from my dad on what my checking balance is. i left my debit card with them to pay for the stuff on the car. the car in which i think i am just going to give to my aunt....or tell them they can use it for the next few months, depending on what the response is to that email.
i am sad a bout leaving bubbles in st. jo...maybe she can come visit.....tho it scares me that her an cady will not get along. i thought maybe if i got a job that paid 10-15 a week...like doing something for someone, something easy that i can an am able to do, that just maybe i could get a pup....but i do not want to scare cady an i do not want anyone to lose sleep. i do remember, only because i am thinking about this subject, a conversation that me an one of the therapist had. they asked if i had any pets an i told the person what we have. they said taht is great an will help with therapy. which proves to be true...i could not move my arms very good until a few days after i got home, same with my hands....after a few days of playing with the dogs an other animals, an petting them...my arm movement got better. same is said here too. with cady my stepping has improved an bending over has gotten easier.
my hair is annoying me. it is conforming to my scars so when my hair is out of place, it is usu in the spot where a scar is...speaking of hair...i think i need a hair cut soon.
so it is no surpise taht i am a jerk. i am mean. i am selfish. i am not who i used to be. i will just leave it at that.
so last bid of business..christmas. i am not sure what i expected. they said it is a day you give gifts so i got gifts an wrapped them....i am sstill not sure waht christmas is. ok i have no idea what it is at all. i just know that everyone around me is trying to make it an awesome one. it already is awesome...just saying.
Tuesday, December 20, 2011
uh....the oven ....is not.....on....
there is a story behind the title but i am not going to say what it is.
i would blog about my last few days but i can only remember, if even this much, bits. ok...i am trying to trigger my memory....let me see...saturday...i sat around waiting for piglet to show....then that night we went to walmart an piglet came an joined us for dinner....ash said i was in a real good mood which i mean i was, but it was more so because that was the day that crap happened in st jo....mainly two unnamed guys, who have already caused me enough problems....tried breaking into our house, the neighbors called the cops, an helped scare them off along with my brother dustin, an the dogs...4 am in the morn. two windows broken dads tires slashed...so the whole day i had been freaked out...scared...an that night with piglet an the jones all that scaredness an stuff disappeared.
sunday we went to a new church......i like the gaithers....my granpas fav. but they were not the gaithers. not even close. and i was fine until ash mentioned it to jess....and then i got real sad. but church is so boring...old bald guys do a lot of talking about nothing an puts people to sleep....that day we made lunch an dinner an ate...and went to bed.
yesterday i woke up an sat with ash like i almost always do, then mcguire showed up. we went to law te cafe an had a scone/cinnomon roll with tea/coffee. it was good seeing her...and she knows abcs in sign so it was fun confusing her. lol. we then went to walmart an got flowers.....i pushed myself an there is something wrong with the wheels on those things. we came back and that was the end of our visit. cady an i sat on the porch for a bit, then came in, it was almost 12 when everyone else started coming out of their caves. the day passed an ash got off, at first i thought she was mad, seemed that way, but i guess i was wrong, but everyone else thot it too. ash an i went to walmart....i held everything. we had taco salad.it was a bit messy, now i need to wash my jeans. lol. stephen got my phone working for a bit, now it is not working again.
bed time came an cady an i have been sleeping on the couch for about 4 nights now....she likes sleeping next to me....tho i cannot tell you the times i have woke up on the floor...haha...but it is ok.
my forhead still hurts to the touch...the other day i was playing with cady, saturday, an she kept hitting me in the face, it only hurt when she hit me on the forhead an then i kept hitting my head on the floor trying to avoid her mouth or paw from getting my eyes or nose. it hurt...i almost started crying. cady is starting to get better around me...well like wise. she will sit an lay with me, she follows me every where, she wakes me up to let her out to potty, she loves to play, and she greets me more an more the way she greets everyone else....jumping an all that good stuff. i usu have to be by a wall cuz she tries every time to knock me over.
over the weekend...i tried my best to not let anything weigh my smile down...but there were times where my legs would cramp an get stiff or like jello an i thot i was going to fall....
sleep has been one thing in itself. i go to bed not too long after the jones and i sleep good for the first few hours an then after 1 i am basically up til i go to bed that night. i try to take naps, i try to sleep...i just cannot. i am afriad it is going to mess with everything i have going for me too...like walking an the talking an the grammar an etc. i hope not.
it would be nice to sleep for more than 2-4 hours tho. it is messing with my head fo sho...my head hurts....but it is something i will get over.
i have been frustrated because my phone is not working or keeps being deactivated....and it is my main voice so without it i am silenced.
it is sad but i told mcguire...haha...i am not sure if i am going to go to st. jo...this is home for me...one it is the only place i know right now....two with everything going on in st jo...i do not need that....but then there is bubbles...an stardust...so i guess i must go back for a bit...right...the other day i was just thinking of going out to visit kara aan joey for a few days an the thought of leaving here...leaving the jones...made me choke up..
but this is how it is in life. we make sacrifices, we let our hearts get broken, an we learn to deal.
i would blog about my last few days but i can only remember, if even this much, bits. ok...i am trying to trigger my memory....let me see...saturday...i sat around waiting for piglet to show....then that night we went to walmart an piglet came an joined us for dinner....ash said i was in a real good mood which i mean i was, but it was more so because that was the day that crap happened in st jo....mainly two unnamed guys, who have already caused me enough problems....tried breaking into our house, the neighbors called the cops, an helped scare them off along with my brother dustin, an the dogs...4 am in the morn. two windows broken dads tires slashed...so the whole day i had been freaked out...scared...an that night with piglet an the jones all that scaredness an stuff disappeared.
sunday we went to a new church......i like the gaithers....my granpas fav. but they were not the gaithers. not even close. and i was fine until ash mentioned it to jess....and then i got real sad. but church is so boring...old bald guys do a lot of talking about nothing an puts people to sleep....that day we made lunch an dinner an ate...and went to bed.
yesterday i woke up an sat with ash like i almost always do, then mcguire showed up. we went to law te cafe an had a scone/cinnomon roll with tea/coffee. it was good seeing her...and she knows abcs in sign so it was fun confusing her. lol. we then went to walmart an got flowers.....i pushed myself an there is something wrong with the wheels on those things. we came back and that was the end of our visit. cady an i sat on the porch for a bit, then came in, it was almost 12 when everyone else started coming out of their caves. the day passed an ash got off, at first i thought she was mad, seemed that way, but i guess i was wrong, but everyone else thot it too. ash an i went to walmart....i held everything. we had taco salad.it was a bit messy, now i need to wash my jeans. lol. stephen got my phone working for a bit, now it is not working again.
bed time came an cady an i have been sleeping on the couch for about 4 nights now....she likes sleeping next to me....tho i cannot tell you the times i have woke up on the floor...haha...but it is ok.
my forhead still hurts to the touch...the other day i was playing with cady, saturday, an she kept hitting me in the face, it only hurt when she hit me on the forhead an then i kept hitting my head on the floor trying to avoid her mouth or paw from getting my eyes or nose. it hurt...i almost started crying. cady is starting to get better around me...well like wise. she will sit an lay with me, she follows me every where, she wakes me up to let her out to potty, she loves to play, and she greets me more an more the way she greets everyone else....jumping an all that good stuff. i usu have to be by a wall cuz she tries every time to knock me over.
over the weekend...i tried my best to not let anything weigh my smile down...but there were times where my legs would cramp an get stiff or like jello an i thot i was going to fall....
sleep has been one thing in itself. i go to bed not too long after the jones and i sleep good for the first few hours an then after 1 i am basically up til i go to bed that night. i try to take naps, i try to sleep...i just cannot. i am afriad it is going to mess with everything i have going for me too...like walking an the talking an the grammar an etc. i hope not.
it would be nice to sleep for more than 2-4 hours tho. it is messing with my head fo sho...my head hurts....but it is something i will get over.
i have been frustrated because my phone is not working or keeps being deactivated....and it is my main voice so without it i am silenced.
it is sad but i told mcguire...haha...i am not sure if i am going to go to st. jo...this is home for me...one it is the only place i know right now....two with everything going on in st jo...i do not need that....but then there is bubbles...an stardust...so i guess i must go back for a bit...right...the other day i was just thinking of going out to visit kara aan joey for a few days an the thought of leaving here...leaving the jones...made me choke up..
but this is how it is in life. we make sacrifices, we let our hearts get broken, an we learn to deal.
Friday, December 16, 2011
...... ...... ......
so yesterday i was a lil mad an i made myself sound like a jerk in yesterdays post. i am sorry if i offended anyone...no joke.
i think i am done with sleeping, like forever. i think it must be something in the air in this house. every single night this week i have had a dream of someone that i love alot die ing. and others have been having horrible dreams too. i mean, it is normal for me to have dreams that involve someones death but not like this. i woke up an it was 223...someone was moving around it woke me. which i am glad because ugh the dreams. i went back to sleep and woke up at 248...then 320 something and 340 soemthing and the hours of 4 and 5 a few times. i decided that i would just turn my alarm off. i was tired, my head was killing me along with the rest of me, this is the first time that i have not been comfy on the couch, i felt like i was going to be sick, and a grumpy crank so i stayed on the couch an tried letting the sounds of ash an stephen and my own thots knock me back out...i felt bad, but i felt it was best.
it was about 7 an i got up an let cady out, and went to go eat the fish an it was gone...so i ate nothing. i let cady back in an then her an i watched movies an shows together to clear up some space in the list.
i had turned my phone off last night, after i payed the bill online, it was nearly dead. i decided that when i was up i would just charge my phone while blogging, if i decided too, or while using my computer...i turned my phone on and it kept wanting to update my profile....i kept trying an it would not do so. i had payed my bill. so i thought i would just wait for stephen to get home an use his super awesome internet to update it....then i got on facebook an stephen is like i tried texting you but it did not go thro. i got on my families phone account an looked an it said my phone was deactivated....what?! so i emailed costumer support an am awaiting them. i cannot do hardly anything on my phone because it keeps wanting to update...not even us my messenger thing to communicate...which sucks.
i am trying to be a good guest, and do what i can to help out. i unplug my fan when i wake up - usu this is something i would not do but my fan likes it here an has not acted up once -, i turn off the tv an the lights. i unplug my computer...any charger....and sometiems the lights. an interesting fact is that a vaccum uses more power than any other appliance. no joke. look it up. by unplugging what you are not using completely from the wall, cuts down the bill a lot. i know from experience. also i have watched an read on this stuff. so today the tv has been off...the lights the fan, the computers unplugged...etc...i think that turning down the heat during the day and turning it up some at night will help too. not much at night just a few degrees. plus i can always put on more clothes. and if i sleep with a fan it is not that cold, right?! i tried sleeping with out it last night but just could not.
today is friday. ash told me not to plan anything this weekend...so i am wondering if i should be scared or excited. there are two things i really want to do....one hang out with mcguire an two build a ginger bread house. i will not go into the story behind this, because mainly i will cry an i just do not want to make my head hurt any more than it does. maybe even a villiage. we will see.
i told my dad i would not be home for christmas....and that i was sorry. i mean i am but i am not. this is something i have needed an wanted an this year i am putting myself ahead of my family. the one thing i do miss tho is the trio....i do not need heat in my room with them 3...let them under the covers an it is like a sana. maybe when it gets even colder outside i will make a pallet on the floor an cady can sleep right next to me...:) i do not mind the dog hair...or the smell....or the bad breath....because it is something that has been absent from my life for 3 months. but knowing my luck i would wake up an be the only one on the pallet on the floor...cady would be on the couch looking down at me....no joke. secretely thinking...sucker..lol.
so here i am in my sweats, which now i cannot wear out of the house, because i cannot get a stain out of them, that if i am right has not been there, an i have no idea where it came from....my spongeboob, who i do not like, surf shirt, which is also my swim shirt an dog bathing shirt....and my old navy long sleeve shirt, which i love, that is tore up in the back. i have on 5 layers on top an 3 on bottom and i am comfy.
i have basically spent my whole day with cady doing nothing but sitting around. no joke. so now onto my weekend.
i think i am done with sleeping, like forever. i think it must be something in the air in this house. every single night this week i have had a dream of someone that i love alot die ing. and others have been having horrible dreams too. i mean, it is normal for me to have dreams that involve someones death but not like this. i woke up an it was 223...someone was moving around it woke me. which i am glad because ugh the dreams. i went back to sleep and woke up at 248...then 320 something and 340 soemthing and the hours of 4 and 5 a few times. i decided that i would just turn my alarm off. i was tired, my head was killing me along with the rest of me, this is the first time that i have not been comfy on the couch, i felt like i was going to be sick, and a grumpy crank so i stayed on the couch an tried letting the sounds of ash an stephen and my own thots knock me back out...i felt bad, but i felt it was best.
it was about 7 an i got up an let cady out, and went to go eat the fish an it was gone...so i ate nothing. i let cady back in an then her an i watched movies an shows together to clear up some space in the list.
i had turned my phone off last night, after i payed the bill online, it was nearly dead. i decided that when i was up i would just charge my phone while blogging, if i decided too, or while using my computer...i turned my phone on and it kept wanting to update my profile....i kept trying an it would not do so. i had payed my bill. so i thought i would just wait for stephen to get home an use his super awesome internet to update it....then i got on facebook an stephen is like i tried texting you but it did not go thro. i got on my families phone account an looked an it said my phone was deactivated....what?! so i emailed costumer support an am awaiting them. i cannot do hardly anything on my phone because it keeps wanting to update...not even us my messenger thing to communicate...which sucks.
i am trying to be a good guest, and do what i can to help out. i unplug my fan when i wake up - usu this is something i would not do but my fan likes it here an has not acted up once -, i turn off the tv an the lights. i unplug my computer...any charger....and sometiems the lights. an interesting fact is that a vaccum uses more power than any other appliance. no joke. look it up. by unplugging what you are not using completely from the wall, cuts down the bill a lot. i know from experience. also i have watched an read on this stuff. so today the tv has been off...the lights the fan, the computers unplugged...etc...i think that turning down the heat during the day and turning it up some at night will help too. not much at night just a few degrees. plus i can always put on more clothes. and if i sleep with a fan it is not that cold, right?! i tried sleeping with out it last night but just could not.
today is friday. ash told me not to plan anything this weekend...so i am wondering if i should be scared or excited. there are two things i really want to do....one hang out with mcguire an two build a ginger bread house. i will not go into the story behind this, because mainly i will cry an i just do not want to make my head hurt any more than it does. maybe even a villiage. we will see.
i told my dad i would not be home for christmas....and that i was sorry. i mean i am but i am not. this is something i have needed an wanted an this year i am putting myself ahead of my family. the one thing i do miss tho is the trio....i do not need heat in my room with them 3...let them under the covers an it is like a sana. maybe when it gets even colder outside i will make a pallet on the floor an cady can sleep right next to me...:) i do not mind the dog hair...or the smell....or the bad breath....because it is something that has been absent from my life for 3 months. but knowing my luck i would wake up an be the only one on the pallet on the floor...cady would be on the couch looking down at me....no joke. secretely thinking...sucker..lol.
so here i am in my sweats, which now i cannot wear out of the house, because i cannot get a stain out of them, that if i am right has not been there, an i have no idea where it came from....my spongeboob, who i do not like, surf shirt, which is also my swim shirt an dog bathing shirt....and my old navy long sleeve shirt, which i love, that is tore up in the back. i have on 5 layers on top an 3 on bottom and i am comfy.
i have basically spent my whole day with cady doing nothing but sitting around. no joke. so now onto my weekend.
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