happy halloween...me hope

happy halloween!

me member when we lived on Jules my dad would go all out for halloween an christmas. him would decorate our um forum an living room with boxes an totes full of decorations. lights, animation, all sorts of stuff. our duplex was creepy as was tho. it was crazy. there was some thing in that house. me no believe in ghosts but me do believe in evil things. me dad swears him saw ghost.

last night me watch storm chasers again at 11. then me watched that 70's show, everybody hates chris, and an episode of family matters. me like holiday themed episode of shows.

it has been a long morning. me went an done pt. will do it again in the early pm. try to build muscle back up. work on write, or scribble. an memory games.

me is on soft diet. just to make sure me stomach can handle stuff. applesauce, icecream, soup, broth, yogurt, pudding, mashed tatos, oatmeal. hope by wed me can start harder stuff. it would be great!

so me doc say it is ok for me to help pass out candy to kids. so yay. me love kids. them smile is like a angels kiss. it warms the heart. an the laugh is like a song from heaven. lol.

me is go to be scary. me is go as meself. lol. that is scary.

lot of the nurses are dressed up, long wit docs, an therapists, it makes it a bit fun round here. me guard even dressed up as a police officer, haha haha ha....
the other two one is a ninja, an the other is a lawyer...that is scary. lol

no investigation feed today. them is let me enjoy tv...haha.. it is me treat...now me has pull a trick on them. lol

so me is watch Munsters. Alvin an chipmunks frankenstein movie. then from 5-8 is trick or treat. which me is excited for.

me is sad for me friend jasi. her lost a friend an her is all sad. her is real good at write stuff tho. me wish me could help ease her pain.
stephen is go as a zombie nurse rockstar something. it is pretty scary. lol. no joke. haha. think me would pee me self if him walk into me room. no joke. haha
me miss bambam. noooo joooke. me hope her is alright. me worry bout her. me think her is part elf. just say. there is a reason for that. lol.
me miss shortie an piglet an kara. no joke.

what is funny is ash use no joke last night. her say her talk to me too much. but that it is a good thing. her is pick up on me mannerisms. just hope it is only the good ones. lol.

it is sunny outside. me was freeze all night. me got 8 1/2 hours of sleep. me is still tire. not sure if this is a good thing or not.

pt is a pain in me body. no joke. this build muscle thing is build pain thing instead. but me hope that by the end of the week me can move round on me own, me mean move not walk or anything. tho that would be nice.

so me is real worry bout me bambam.me wish me could do so much more for her than what me is. me is bout ready to break all the rules, no joke, just to let her know what her means to me. that tho this world may be try to break her down, that her is rock hard. they can chip her, but they will not break her. her is an angel. when you is round her you feel piece of heaven. and the only vibe you get from her is complete an total love. no joke.

pass out candy was fun. some of the kids were scary, like me was kinda scare to give them candy. then there were the real little kids that were sooooooooooooooo precious an adorable. no joke! me did have a bad moment so me was out for about 15 mins, but then me got back in on the action. kids kept call me him an sir, boy, guy, man, yep. haha.

one of the nurses brought me a treat. starbucks. lol. the psl. pumpkin spice latte. me is not sure what me is go do wit rest of me night tho me has idea.

me hope everyone has had a safe good halloween!

tea

i was woke up at 820ish something this am, to yum applesauce. me ate it an then me went back to sleep til 1pm. 14 1/2 hours of sleep.

ash kept me company as me watched the wizard of waverly place apartment 13b 4 episode saga. me was so tired that it was hard to stay awake to watch it. but me did. and then me fell sleep.

me has spent me day checking the tv guide to find shows for me an ash to watch. an waiting for ash to get home. it is kind sad, me know, but, me is bored all day. me lays in bed all day wit nothing to really do. internet gets boring after while. pt starts tomorrow, but that only gives me a few hours of non boredom. and most me friends are working or really busy, or do not really care to talk to me. so even tho me is not very good company me is excited when me an ash get to talk. an yeah me has a guard in me room an nurses, docs, an techs that come in every so often but the guard does not really want to anything to do with me, he is always ready to get his shift over. at night there are only two guards, an neither are in my room. nurses are always busy. so me is real happy when me gets to chat or skype with people.

me really liked the cards that bambam an mama canady sent. them both were a bluish green. me thot them had talked about them, lol, there was a patern. the lettering was awesome an the color was too. an them writting is really good, lol.
me try an read me cards every day. me has the nurse take them off whatever table them is on an bring them to me so me can read them. then her sets them back up round me bible.

ash told me to make a list of things to do wit her when me go to visit her. so me is go start that tomorrow. one thing that keeps coming up between ash, stephen, an me is Seattle. no joke. no joke. NO JOKE. it is not a purpose thing, it just happens..
me an ash talk bout lots of stuff.

one thing that has been bug me is this whole move thing. me granma is make me feel so bad bout moving an me is think her is right, that it will not happen. me just do not know if me can leave me granma here without someone to take care of her like me do. so there is something for people to pray bout.
ash say when you get to washington you can get a pup. hahaha. that would be awesome, an would help ease stuff, but do not think it will happen. lol. just for fun, me think me would either want a real HUGE dog, or a real SMALL dog. like a real small chiwawa. hahahaha. or terrior. me has always wanted a dog that had a disability, or that most people would not want. a blind dog, missing one eye, 3 legs, or that has some kind of disease that makes it walk funny or something. or a dog that is an older dog. most older dogs die in pounds. i hate shelters an pounds that are not no kill. any way, that is me lil trail.
these are the two things that real bug me bout moving, me granma an leaving me bubbles behind. but as me said before, bubbles elvis an stardust are best friends, an there is no point of breaking her heart an elvis'.

people keep asking me what i would like when me get out of here. here is a list of some things that me would like:

- pumpkin pie, all those of you who are talk about it, me is jealous, it is me fav kind of pie. - steak...me aunt told me them was have steak in one of her texts, me loves steak. a1 steak sauce. fried or cooked mushrooms. mash tatoes with ranch. so good. - spaghetti, but me fav is me dad's an me has not found any as good as his.  - ice cream, me know me get it in here, but hey , me love ice cream. - beer battered chicken. it is good stuff, me has no ever had beer because me think it smells nasty an there fore taste the same.  - breakfast, real breakfast. double choco chip waffles.

this is all me can think of lol.


3 1/2 weeks til me is hope go get out here. then week or two later or few days later me hope me get see some me friends. this week is last week of investigation. them can not do much more in it, an have to check things out. me is thankful for this.
me is hope that me is go be able to say few words when me is out here. me can spell in asl. well pt starts morrow, so me is think that me is go be able to do more than me can do now, when me get out here.

morrow is halloween. if the doc lets me me can help pass out candy to the kids that are in the hospital. that would be great.
week of nov 1st is one me fav days cuz candy is always real cheap. so if you want get me some, me will love you foever. an christmas nusic starts. yay.

me has be listen to lot of what is called christian music. me real like it. no joke.

today me has be good. cept me keeps get warm an hot. but me think it is me get back to me self. i hope so. me temp is 100.5 . has not be over 101.

me watch once upon a time an it was real intense. but good, so, mama canady, me love the show! some is wrong wit ash internet so we is not chat no more.
storm chasers is com on in 9 mins. yay! me is watch jonny bravo.- O mama! - lol.

me had dream bout tornado last night. then me had dream tha ash an stephen were here wit me. it was nice. me slept real well.

me is go watch storm chasers. an then prob wizards an go to sleep.

o. the tea thing. me has be drink tea all day. me loves tea. me fav is chai tea. me do wish me had flavored tea.

Cards

me got no sleep last night. some every hour but it was on a few minutes every hour. me sister kept facebook me. her was full of many emotions. so me stay up wit her. tho we were in two dif hospitals in two dif places, we sort kept one nother company. her got to go home today. me did not. lol.

me watched a lot of disney most night an morning. me did watch bugs bunny!!!! :O o ya!

me got to chat wit stephen for bit. me is pose to chat wit ash later.

me room is very nice. me has room for 7 or 8 people to sit comfy. maybe 9, lol. me has two tv. one for me one for guest. a table wit three chairs. a huge bathroom. me has HUGE window. but if you look out it it is windows all round. boo. me room also has a temp adjuster an me can mess wit it! there is no blinds just curtains. the nurses, lpns, an tech come in all time. one of the guards gets to sit in me room. there is a line down me tv tho, but it is ok. lol.

me got 2, yes, 2 cards today! one from mama canady, an one from bambam! they are both awesome! both the cards are too!

me is watch disney an nick, it is halloween stuff on. wizards is go be on soon!!! me is also talk wit ash.

me had a bad moment today, it was first one of day. me has lot on me mind an it no helps that me has not sleep much at all.

today has been an ok day. it is short. me did not want to have a rant. me is curious bout me future.

mac n cheese

this post has no thing to do wit mac n cheese....ok, may be jus a small small bit do. haha

me could no fall sleep at all. so 6am this morn me fin fell sleep. no joke. me wake up at 12pm. me ach all over. me would like stretch out. me is go be like the old guy from UP, where him pop out bed an crack crack crack. yep, that is go be me. lol

yester day post me say some bout if the guys get no time. Michael, this kid is real smart an real funny, rank bambam wit batman an chuck norris. still makes me laugh eve time me think bout it. me can just see bambam wit mask cape an ninja cloths.
it was a clever reply but one that also has nother side of thot. am me so low an weak that me can no protect me self, that me would let others do it for me? it was no on this reply but one me other friends say it bout time you start stand up for you self. double blow!!
me do stand up for me self, cept when me is smart an think it is no worth the effort, or kno that all the other person want is argue. me has alway stand up for me self, on time me has no is when me has no be able to or thot it best no to. me has alway protect me self too. no on me, but me family an me friends. me will eve protect strangers. no joke.
so why do me need some one else to protect me or stand up for me? if me can no do it for me self what that say bout me? it is simple, it mean that me is weak, a coward, an selfish. which make me a loser an a jerk!

today me has be tire, but what else is new. me is do better wit breath an me oxygen in me mask has gone down.

me is go have to use money me get from work to go to eye doctor. me right eye is one that is mess up. me was do some an look out on me right eye an it is all blurry thro me glasses. boooo. but it is way over due. 4 years. yep. but if me can get perscription me can get glasses cheap.

me did no get color today. sadness. just like me did no get me shower today. double sadness. me did get mac n cheese today. it did no taste good at all, but me yum it. an it was ok. it was better than mash tatos.

me make me bucket list. there is lot to do on it. half me no think will get done but hey me can try.

lot of me friends are sick today. me no like it. if me could me would take them sickness way. me would rather be sick than them. what a pickle.

2 more days. no on will it be the weekend but it will also mean, NO MORE INVESTIGATION, for 2 hole days! 2 more days an 2 me fav persons are get married!!!!!!!!! 2 more days an then begins the 2 day count down. need less to say, me week next week is go start off bad, an monday is go be a bad day. me wish me could skip it.

me has be member bits an pieces of me college years. it is very frustrate cuz it is just things that no tell me much or that no connect.

since me has alread say me believe there is a god, just no sure what or where it is, or even who, me is go say some else. me think pray is a good idea. even if you do no believe that there is a god or in the god that hears pray, you should try pray. it is a good way to help you unstress. me do it. me just think bout me day an me friends an that is it, but that is me pray.

me got message from Richard, me new friend in Seattle. him tell me to do me research cuz me is in for a big surprise. me has experience many other cultures, an me has be in KC lots. lol.

me was do some think today bout halloween. me thot it be funny to dress me dog Bubbles up as a bunch of bubbles or a bottle of bubbles an me dad dog Elvis as elvis! it would be funny. an cute. me is kind sad me is no go be there for halloween. it is ok tho.
me is kind upset bout leave bubbles here in MO. Me will prob no see her in person for a year or so, an that is real hard to take in. an know me luck me would go way an that would be last time me see her. her is happy wit elvis an me family. her an elvis are best friends, who am me to break them up? who am me to break bubbles heart an mine by seperate us? me wish me could take her wit me, or that me had a pup that was no best friends wit the others me could take wit me, but wishes are dreams that are no mean to be.

me has had good day, but lot things in it are just very sad an try to break me down.

it is a long hard journey. one full of heart ach an pain. one full of mystery an shame. but the on thing me is out to gain, is freedom from all this rain!

last or first night

scan scan scan. that is all me feel me get to do. me no like close spaces tho. this is why me no cover me feet lot. no shoe no blanket, no dog or cat lay on them, unless me feet is real froze. me would no wear shoe at all if me no had to.

me has had long nite. me no could sleep. me had real bad seisure and me fell out bed hit me head. it was no bad hit but it knock me out real good. it cause some stitches an staples to come out. them fix it. me is no sure witch me has so me jus say both staple an stitchs.  me can no type well so me has to fix ton things before me act post things. me temp has gone up. it is 105.8 right now. me is see stuff gain an hear stuff. me is no pose to sleep but me fell sleep for bit.  me had dream bout snake that was chase after me. it was big snake. it ate one me pets. there were snake all in wit me pets. it was weird scare dream. me no stay sleep long haha. me wake up scare. me hate snakes. yuck! them let me sleep for few hours tho. it was no much but me feel jus small bit better.

me has have 4 scans today. them say puss is no go way an them is go have do surgery morrow. 9-11 hour surgery. them is go try cut out infection out me head. them say if it cut out than me will get better. drugs are work for most part just not wit infection in me head.this make no get, no worry, me no get either. me keep have real bad seisures. them is no fun.

some one sent me pic of outside day. them say it beautiful. on way back from one of them scans them stop at window an me got to see how pretty it is out. even wit the clouds it still look pretty out.

me is lost lot um wait. me bet me is as much as me dog. me use wait 125-130, now me wait 85-90. me cloths are lose. real lose. me no look to good. me is go go as skeleton for halloween. it a joke, lol. me is all white an me look like ghost or zombie. so this leave me options open. who kno by halloween me could act be a ghost. me is go start protien shake or what eve u call them. me just have find good one, so if u kno good one, please say me.
me like halloween. me member that me parents had bunny costume an all us kids were bunny for halloween til us was to big to be bunny. me went as ninja lot times. one year me even went as dead princess. me no think there any pics so you is sol, sorry out luck, lol.
me think halloween last year me stay home wit me dad an ate all candy cuz all the kids were in me granma hood. no joke. if u eve go to st jo dur halloween all kids in town go to deer park to trick an treat. us went there lot when us were kid. it get so pack that u can no drive thro any of them streets. u can get wole trash bag full of candy. but me watch ghost hunters live wit me dad, well him fell sleep, so me watch it. me ate all candy an me was sit in dark watch ghost hunters. if me is out by then or no a ghost, me is go sit at home lone watch halloween stuff.

me has spent most time me is wake watch cosby, this channel call tbn. it have lot of cool cartoons on. me learn bit bout god stuff. me watch wizards of waverly place an gaithers.

so me has some asks an me is go ask them here cuz persons just avoid me if me ask them. so me ask them here
- who is god? - if him is me father than do that mean me have 2 dads? - who is jesus? - the bible is god's word right? - what is heaven? - what is hell? - what is a blessing? - what do it mean to admire?

them is just few me has.

me has got sick er. me has be have lot seisures. me has be puke lot of blood. an me temp is now 106.0. :/

one thing me real like is some the things bambam say. her say to me that what eve me blog bout is important to her cuz it important to me. me like lot things me friends say. me jus no take well cuz it is weird for me to hear them things.

me has this thing call messages from god. Josi ask me to do it on facebook. the message today say this:
- On this day of your life, Brittany, we believe God wants you to know ... that you've been talking to God too much, and not listening enough. Prayer is when you talk to God. Meditation is when you become quiet and listen to God. You've learned how to talk and ask well. Time to learn how to listen and hear, because God has been answering you. -
 me is no sure what this mean. pray is say to god, an me has no be do this, cuz me is no sure how. how can god be answer if me has no ask?

yester day me message say this:
- On this day, God wants you to know...that it is time to finally forgive yourself. You've carried the guilt, the shame for long enough. You've kept your wounds open for long enough. The time has come to let go, to heal. Keep the lessons and let the pain heal. Yes, you know what we are talking about. -
  how do u forgive u? forgive mean to say sorry? so me would be say sorry to me? me is no sure what them talk bout. an so many me friends are like ya listen this. so now me feel dumb, cuz it sound like me should kno an me no kno. 


me hate when me feel dumb. me is alread dumb, an it no help when others add to it. me has decide me is go clean out me facebook friends. not that me has many real friends on facebook. what a loser me is. no joke. so me is ask most me friends if them want stay friends. if me no ask that cuz me alread kno u answer.  


me has surgery morrow. ya, it scare me. me no kno why. guess cuz me feel all lone. but that me. me also feel persons just walk all over me an no me no llow it. it is like me is no important. me could die an be dead for weeks, an me no think persons would even kno or care. me is frustrate. 


me need some major friend time, me need some major person time.