happy halloween...me hope

happy halloween!

me member when we lived on Jules my dad would go all out for halloween an christmas. him would decorate our um forum an living room with boxes an totes full of decorations. lights, animation, all sorts of stuff. our duplex was creepy as was tho. it was crazy. there was some thing in that house. me no believe in ghosts but me do believe in evil things. me dad swears him saw ghost.

last night me watch storm chasers again at 11. then me watched that 70's show, everybody hates chris, and an episode of family matters. me like holiday themed episode of shows.

it has been a long morning. me went an done pt. will do it again in the early pm. try to build muscle back up. work on write, or scribble. an memory games.

me is on soft diet. just to make sure me stomach can handle stuff. applesauce, icecream, soup, broth, yogurt, pudding, mashed tatos, oatmeal. hope by wed me can start harder stuff. it would be great!

so me doc say it is ok for me to help pass out candy to kids. so yay. me love kids. them smile is like a angels kiss. it warms the heart. an the laugh is like a song from heaven. lol.

me is go to be scary. me is go as meself. lol. that is scary.

lot of the nurses are dressed up, long wit docs, an therapists, it makes it a bit fun round here. me guard even dressed up as a police officer, haha haha ha....
the other two one is a ninja, an the other is a lawyer...that is scary. lol

no investigation feed today. them is let me enjoy tv...haha.. it is me treat...now me has pull a trick on them. lol

so me is watch Munsters. Alvin an chipmunks frankenstein movie. then from 5-8 is trick or treat. which me is excited for.

me is sad for me friend jasi. her lost a friend an her is all sad. her is real good at write stuff tho. me wish me could help ease her pain.
stephen is go as a zombie nurse rockstar something. it is pretty scary. lol. no joke. haha. think me would pee me self if him walk into me room. no joke. haha
me miss bambam. noooo joooke. me hope her is alright. me worry bout her. me think her is part elf. just say. there is a reason for that. lol.
me miss shortie an piglet an kara. no joke.

what is funny is ash use no joke last night. her say her talk to me too much. but that it is a good thing. her is pick up on me mannerisms. just hope it is only the good ones. lol.

it is sunny outside. me was freeze all night. me got 8 1/2 hours of sleep. me is still tire. not sure if this is a good thing or not.

pt is a pain in me body. no joke. this build muscle thing is build pain thing instead. but me hope that by the end of the week me can move round on me own, me mean move not walk or anything. tho that would be nice.

so me is real worry bout me bambam.me wish me could do so much more for her than what me is. me is bout ready to break all the rules, no joke, just to let her know what her means to me. that tho this world may be try to break her down, that her is rock hard. they can chip her, but they will not break her. her is an angel. when you is round her you feel piece of heaven. and the only vibe you get from her is complete an total love. no joke.

pass out candy was fun. some of the kids were scary, like me was kinda scare to give them candy. then there were the real little kids that were sooooooooooooooo precious an adorable. no joke! me did have a bad moment so me was out for about 15 mins, but then me got back in on the action. kids kept call me him an sir, boy, guy, man, yep. haha.

one of the nurses brought me a treat. starbucks. lol. the psl. pumpkin spice latte. me is not sure what me is go do wit rest of me night tho me has idea.

me hope everyone has had a safe good halloween!

skype

yesterday had be the best day of whole time me has be sick. no joke.

me got to see pictures from ash an stephen wedding. it was so cute! me is hope them is have a great time on them honey moon.
in the pics me got see michael an sarah, valerie an justin, sara, an lauren an kevin. it was nice to see them faces. them is all awesome!

bambam skype wit me gain last night real earl e this am. me got to see her mom too. me think me found nickname for her. casper. caring, amazing, sweet, persistant, encourage ing, and real real cool. hahah. it is all true. we will see what mama canady think tho. me will still call her mama canady but also casper, if it is ok wit her.
it was real good to get to skype wit nikki 2 times an wit her mom too. it was good to skype wit ash for bit too. made me feel lot better, an for once no alone.

me dad sent me message say that him visit me granma an me granma do not believe me is go move to seattle. me know it is more of her no want me to go. makes me feel real bad. me love me granma lots. an me do not want to break her heart. so me feel like jerk.
me aunt say her need money. so me gave her 40, well me had some one do me bidding for me. it was prob a stupid thing me did, but next month me has to pay for tags on me car. car me no even use most time. an me aunt say her lost the car insurance her have on it, so me has to find an pay for car insurance because it is my car. her no care me in hospital. good thing it is due in november an not on a certain day. it is still frustrate.

me made promise to bambam that me was go try sleep. so me put in phantom of opera. me love the song angel of music. me shut movie off before me fell sleep. me is go finish it tonight. me went sleep round 330 am. me sleep til o most 2. me got up for bit an then went back sleep at 4 til o most 7. me eyes hurt. like crazy. me had a bad dream. me was cry in me dream an o most outside me dream too. me was fight the cry. me no member dream but me do member it was real bad an me was cry.

me hear it was a pretty day out....boo.

me is no read for morrow. me just wish we could skip to tuesday. it is not go to be a good day. an one the worst parts is me has got to face it prob on me own. you may think it is stupid, but if you have no lost a parent, then lil advice, never tell someone that you should be over it by now. you never get over it. in a way you do, but real you do not.
plus me has to watch live feed of the interview and then me has meet wit some persons, an them is go be in me room. yeah me like idea of persons in me room but me not like the reason why them is there.
an then me is also go start pt back up.
me has 2 words for all this = total hell. no joke!

me watch once upon a time an it was alright. me is also watch storm chasers an it is episode with joplin tornado.

me is do good at save me pay checks. when me get out me is pose to get more hours. yay! when me get out me is go to eye doctor. then me is go buy me frames off line. no joke!

me health has be pretty good this weekend. me has no had that many bad moments. just a few.

me has put tags in me blog posts so persons can click on a tag an find all the posts of mine that um talk bout that word.

me is tire. so after storm chasers me is go play few games on facebook an then me is go ing to go to sleep.

feel the blue

me wonder if them call it blue cuz when persons got sad them turn blue?

this is a rant. beware!

bambam google + me ask if me delete me facebook. no me say to her. so me spent last 4-5 hours deal wit facebook. first them say me account is suspended for post mean an nasty things. then them say no, it cuz there have be many reports that me facebook account is a fake an that me is no a real people. then it cuz me has multiple accounts, 1 of which is on one me use. final e them give me me account back.

me phone company will no extend me time like them say them will so now me is out 50 that me pay to now on have one week of service.

on top of no be able to access me facebook, when me is able to use it, me is have so many issues wit it that me is like what the point.

me family, main le me brothers, has hacked into me emails myspace an blog an sent emails to friends say me is die, or say stuff that me no say. them has change passwords an all that. an me on find this out by fbi walk in last nite an accuse me of do it.

me was wake up this morn by doc so him could do tests. could them no wait???

so many of me friends are have issues an problem an no so good days or time an me feel helpless, me hate HATE me can no help them.

now me is get emails from random persons who kno me family but me has no eve met, say all sorts stuff.

me is sooooooooooo stress out that the doc has me on extra watch. him is fraid that me is go have stroke or heart attack.

me has a journey, an adventure, but right now me just feel it be better if me let one those beast destroy me, put an end to something that may very well be no mean to be.

is this an adventure or a punishment?

legacy

hi!!! u have reach the blog of BAFINATOR!!!

if u is have trouble find me on facebook, us are in same boat. me no kno where me profile went to. either someone is mess wit me, facebook real is do site stuff, or me is offical too awesome to be on facebook an there4 them is make me me own website. me pick numero 4, me has no clue. but me DID NO delete me facebook. as temp as me has be last few week to do so, me has no go there. me has also be think bout creating a 4th facebook, me other to are no delete jus no use like me current one, for all me special friends or true friends. me jus have come up wit cool name for it. 3 brittany frakes is nuff for me. an no me is no go name it amber, yuck! name is cool, me jus no like me middle name.

surgery! docs say went good an them got infection out of me head. now me jus has to get it out me body. month in half o read in hospital has no be fun, an still look at few more weeks, blah! me did lot sleep yester. me even miss most igor cuz me keep snoze off. me watch lot of disney yester nite. munsters has be on too, so me watch that too. black an white show, it funny! me was no very public so me no say lot. me did get say wit bambam, mama canady, ash, an shortie for bit.

me no sleep well. me was worry bout me facebook. first me think o, it be back in bit. then when it no show back up me start think who or why would any1 report me facebook cuz me has no do no thing, so me also start think why facebook would disable or block me facebook wit out warn or email. then me think may be it were fbi try protect me or some like that, no them has no clue. me think me dad mess wit it, but him no have me password. so me is is confuse an frustrate by it. me has email them all nite. - update: me facebook is back up an run. me is go clean out me friends day or morrow.
me is real tire. me is go sleep lot day.

me last blog me was jerk. me no mean to hurt no one. part was fever an me sick brain, part was what me was hold in. me jus could no do it no more an me had let it out. it was like me sick ness an me is sure it was add to me sick ness, it keep get worse an worse an worse.

yester nite me fell sleep for bit an nurse came in an shut tv sound off an turn lite off. me wake some an her ask if me would like listen music, me nod. her took me computer an put on music. her say this was one her favorite stations, some call klove. it real nice stuff. it say bout god an all sort that stuff. it make me feel all warm inside an make me smile an me heart smile. there was this one song that say this - want leave legacy how will them member me? - an me got think bout this. me did no kno what legacy mean, an then song pretty much say what it mean.
this song mind me of LP song, leave out all the rest. in song it say - me dream me was miss an u was so scare but no one would listen cuz no one else care, after me dream me woke wit the fear, what is me leave when me is done here - me real think lot on this.

me think, if me had die in surgery, or die after or soon after, the last thing persons would member bout me is that me fight long time wit sick ness. them member me be sick an that is it. ... that is no what me want. me is no set on change world, cuz that will no ever happen, but me is set on be better people an friend, even family member. me is 22 an what me to show for it? me graduate high school an that bout it. o an pose me went to college for bit.

me read other blogs. me see persons do stuff. me no alway get what me read but me do kno them is do stuff.

me want do stuff to. me no jus want to be nother people who has ordinary life, me want have extra ordinary life.

how is me go do this tho?
first, me figure me has to get better. them say them got infection cut out me head, now to get rest me body to boot the infection an sick ness. this has no be easy at all. me was glad when me woke up an me have no forgot stuff gain. it was real hard type an still is, but me is push thro. it is no go be easy but it will get there.
to, me has get out me town. me no realize how bad an no good for me it is til day or to before surgery. it is real stressful an negative to be round me family. it is time for peace in me life. this is where me is real thankful for real great friends who can get stuff thro this thick head of me. me has kno for long time me need to get out, an me has try for long time to get out an stay out. me has try lot. it get drain after while an start think will no ever happen! me think thing be different this time.

me will go from there. me has no idea what is in me future, but me do kno it better than what is in me past. that is me adventures an it has no just start an it is no bout to end!!

love is a beautiful thing

 me keep have these random things pop into me head. so me look them up an them is song lyrics. so me think me is start member songs. haha. me think this is a yay.


 the doc say that me has had meninjitis for 3 weeks now. the pneumonia has covered it up. spinal taps are no fun. me has had one eve week but them is still no fun. no no. hurt lots. me is so tire but them on let me sleep few hours at time. them think cuz of "how bad off u are" that me will go into coma. me has no complain bout that. least me could sleep. it make more since now that me is have trouble get up when me do sleep. an all the other stuff make since too. me just think them should have find it sooner than did. me temp is still 104.8. least it no change.

bambam say her want to learn to love like me do. me just has big heart. me have no room for hate. me has had nuff hate from world so full of hate that me can no imagine show no thing but love. it like me smile idea. smile alway even if u no feel like it, u no ever kno day someone else be have an u smile may just save them life. all round u should smile an be love at all time. me on no smile when me is have real real real end of world bad day. even me worse days me smile an haha bout problems. that is when me is in me right mind.

more me say wit most me friends more me realize me is no smart, or even close. them know so much, an me kno them is old, yes me say it deal wit it :P, an them have had more life to learn stuff, but man what have me be do wit me life? me kno junk no thing. it ok tho. me pic them brains all time, or least me try. may be me pic smart friends to make me look no so dumb.

me kno stuff. like u can live wit out inner part of u brain the center, it has be proven, there is a kid who was born normal wit out the center part of him brain. eve 10 years u get a new skeleton. me kno that me is related to Jonathan Frakes, commander Ryker, from Star Trek TNG. all u trek fans be jealous, lol. no real do no. me has no ever met him an me is no sure how us relate.

me has had a sad week it seem. me is be struggle wit lot stuff. me no member god or jesus or bible or pray, an it frustrate when persons say stuff bout things me no member. if u is go say some thing then make sure put in way me can get. if me still can no get me will ask til me do. gree? an if me ask some please no ignore it. if me ask me real want kno.

me had say to me friends me is no go get to go to them wedding. me feel bad. me real want to. me is no sure me is go get to go to ash an stephen wedding. me is no sure if me be out of hospital by then, me real hope me will be, an if me is me no think me can drive for few weeks. so me has problem. lol. shortie ask if me can make card for them. if me do me do no want it be all scribbles. mean it look like stuff to me but it no look like no thing but scribbles to eve one else.

it frustrate me me can no spell, me try spell love an me no could. it was jus scribbles. frustrate me me can no walk or stand or step. me work so hard an me is back at square one. me have type wit me point finger cuz me no member how type.
me is mad. me no like have start all over gain. me no like be in this room wit no window, wit no company, me no like be hooked up to all these things. me no like be sick. me no like that me whole life me is go be held back by the fact me brain no work right. me is mad that me dream is some me will no ever get to accomplish. me no like that now the on company , if me even do, is the chats on facebook, or messages.
me is mad me can no eve look out the window. it be nice to have piece of outside in here. stead of the white walls, me bet me could say you where all cracks are in this room.

me is be selfish an complain. me should be happy that me is no in worse place. me do have computer an internet. an me friends sort live in it. me has good friends. me has hosppital go to. me watch lot of news an me is very thank for what me has.
me is just mad an me got let it out.

me watch tron yester nite, it was sad but good. me would love have more movie nite wit friends, or even just chat. me welcome company. me has yahoo messenger an aim.
me got me phone yester too. but sim card no work. me is make me agents do all the work. them no like talk phone company but me no can. haha. it is funny.
me went bed watch wizards of waverly place. me love that show. it funny.

me is pose to have bambam card by now but agents say that it has no show up at dress. so me is no get card an that ok. haha. me is very thank for bambam. her is good friend. her say her want be like me when her grow up, her is real big kid me guess. truth be say, me want be like her. her is kind, patient, love, sweet, care, pretty inside an out, her heart so big me is sure me have be travel for days in it. me no think her know how much her impact? world.

this is me blog for now. yester post had most views. an that post was one of me worse post.
me hope you is ok an do well. say me u day or how u do, it be nice to hear from u. me love.

put love in that smile that is on you face

some things us no ever say
some things us no ever display
one word be nuff to change it all
one action be nuff to save a fall
it may no be a good week
but be care of what you speak
some one will hear
an it could change them whole year
mind what you do
the right thing can pull some one thro
no be mean to no one
instead love on them some
it is little thing in life
so no cause pain or strife
put a smile on you face
an happy in sad an mad's place
put love in you heart
so no one else life fall a part
no feed that bad  mood crave
cuz wit a smile an love a life you can save
it no hard to do
one day you will see some one has do it for you!