blah

now for a real post. that last post was broat to you by me life as a human an no a goose!! :P

late le ever night seem to end wit me fight me motions. me is a very care person. me no like to see other persons hurt sad mad or sick. me care lot for persons who are in me life. so when them is sad hurt mad or sick me is sad hurt mad an sick. it just how me is.
if me is no fight wit me motions me is fight wit the issue of continue me journey or give up. if you was in me shoes me bet you would have this happen all time to. but me go to sleep, if me can, an me wake up, if me is no o read e up.

yester nite was a horrible nite. no joke. there was lot of things me member. an me became so um overwhelmed. an things just keep pile on. me fine came to a point where me said this is either go break me or make me. so me say hey, me is done! me was real upset an hurt wit lot of me friends an lot of things that had go on that day.

now Jamie want to sit there an try get me argue on if jesus is real, if the bible is true, an all this other stuff. me can no argue nothing, me can no even argue me name. no joke. me is no sure if me is for god or no. but it is me choice to make. me is no who me was before. me has relearn lot of stuff. me is go do research an me is go make sure that when me make that choice that me is sure it choice me want make. that right, it me choice, no one else. an trust you me, me is ask hard questions.

me right side of me chest has be tight an in lot of pain last day an today. it hurt to breath in. it is no fun. yester nite me head hurt so much from so many chats go on an other stuff, an it got to point where me was forget ever thing. me had to keep get me bearings ever min or so. me is real tire. on got hour of sleep. me is have seizures gain. boo. bloody nose is become a reg thing too. me still can no move.

that asshole doc was a jerk gain today. him say me is no try hard nuff an it no prisse him when it come to idiots like me. Jasi say me should have use a sign thing that me learn on him but me can no lift me hand an it is some me would feel bad bout later. lol. Jamie is in this same category. him is like me just want help you learn da truth.

me can say this, yester an today, me has seen points for why god do no exist fall thro as lies. but like me say me is go make choice for me self.

me watch movie wit bambam. it was funE movie. it was real good. what was no good is me forgot her. me forgot lot stuff. me whent sleep for hour me wake up an me no know who me is where me is or who anyone else was. it was scare. it was no fun. an me kno it make others feel bad when me forget them. :/ poo.

me has do lot say wit Jasi. Her is real cool person. me real like her lot. her has be real good friend. us have lot in common. her say we twins. this mean me has 3 twins.

me feel me is become distant from me friends. an it is no me, it is me friends. so must mean some is wrong wit me. true story.

me is work on sign. me is watch lot of video in sign. me kno how to sign me can only imagine in sign have for years.

some is wrong wit me head. me is get better at stuff but me memory is get worse. just be warned.
me is no sure where me wheel chair is. maybe the persons decide to no give it to me. sigh.

this is me adventure. it is no very good, o least no right now. but the journey is no over, in fact, it has just began.





police academy

bandages removed.

movie nite

wheel chair

convo wit ash

love is a beautiful thing

 me keep have these random things pop into me head. so me look them up an them is song lyrics. so me think me is start member songs. haha. me think this is a yay.


 the doc say that me has had meninjitis for 3 weeks now. the pneumonia has covered it up. spinal taps are no fun. me has had one eve week but them is still no fun. no no. hurt lots. me is so tire but them on let me sleep few hours at time. them think cuz of "how bad off u are" that me will go into coma. me has no complain bout that. least me could sleep. it make more since now that me is have trouble get up when me do sleep. an all the other stuff make since too. me just think them should have find it sooner than did. me temp is still 104.8. least it no change.

bambam say her want to learn to love like me do. me just has big heart. me have no room for hate. me has had nuff hate from world so full of hate that me can no imagine show no thing but love. it like me smile idea. smile alway even if u no feel like it, u no ever kno day someone else be have an u smile may just save them life. all round u should smile an be love at all time. me on no smile when me is have real real real end of world bad day. even me worse days me smile an haha bout problems. that is when me is in me right mind.

more me say wit most me friends more me realize me is no smart, or even close. them know so much, an me kno them is old, yes me say it deal wit it :P, an them have had more life to learn stuff, but man what have me be do wit me life? me kno junk no thing. it ok tho. me pic them brains all time, or least me try. may be me pic smart friends to make me look no so dumb.

me kno stuff. like u can live wit out inner part of u brain the center, it has be proven, there is a kid who was born normal wit out the center part of him brain. eve 10 years u get a new skeleton. me kno that me is related to Jonathan Frakes, commander Ryker, from Star Trek TNG. all u trek fans be jealous, lol. no real do no. me has no ever met him an me is no sure how us relate.

me has had a sad week it seem. me is be struggle wit lot stuff. me no member god or jesus or bible or pray, an it frustrate when persons say stuff bout things me no member. if u is go say some thing then make sure put in way me can get. if me still can no get me will ask til me do. gree? an if me ask some please no ignore it. if me ask me real want kno.

me had say to me friends me is no go get to go to them wedding. me feel bad. me real want to. me is no sure me is go get to go to ash an stephen wedding. me is no sure if me be out of hospital by then, me real hope me will be, an if me is me no think me can drive for few weeks. so me has problem. lol. shortie ask if me can make card for them. if me do me do no want it be all scribbles. mean it look like stuff to me but it no look like no thing but scribbles to eve one else.

it frustrate me me can no spell, me try spell love an me no could. it was jus scribbles. frustrate me me can no walk or stand or step. me work so hard an me is back at square one. me have type wit me point finger cuz me no member how type.
me is mad. me no like have start all over gain. me no like be in this room wit no window, wit no company, me no like be hooked up to all these things. me no like be sick. me no like that me whole life me is go be held back by the fact me brain no work right. me is mad that me dream is some me will no ever get to accomplish. me no like that now the on company , if me even do, is the chats on facebook, or messages.
me is mad me can no eve look out the window. it be nice to have piece of outside in here. stead of the white walls, me bet me could say you where all cracks are in this room.

me is be selfish an complain. me should be happy that me is no in worse place. me do have computer an internet. an me friends sort live in it. me has good friends. me has hosppital go to. me watch lot of news an me is very thank for what me has.
me is just mad an me got let it out.

me watch tron yester nite, it was sad but good. me would love have more movie nite wit friends, or even just chat. me welcome company. me has yahoo messenger an aim.
me got me phone yester too. but sim card no work. me is make me agents do all the work. them no like talk phone company but me no can. haha. it is funny.
me went bed watch wizards of waverly place. me love that show. it funny.

me is pose to have bambam card by now but agents say that it has no show up at dress. so me is no get card an that ok. haha. me is very thank for bambam. her is good friend. her say her want be like me when her grow up, her is real big kid me guess. truth be say, me want be like her. her is kind, patient, love, sweet, care, pretty inside an out, her heart so big me is sure me have be travel for days in it. me no think her know how much her impact? world.

this is me blog for now. yester post had most views. an that post was one of me worse post.
me hope you is ok an do well. say me u day or how u do, it be nice to hear from u. me love.

think

me last post was very short an no full much.

last thing me want is be left lone. me is tire of be lone. me no want do nothing. me no want look out window me no want try walk, me no want read story, me no care to do any that. me no even care to get better.
me no like feel this way at all.

me on got 3 hour sleep. me try nap. eve time me close eyes me see no thing but bad. me is real tire tho.

this post call thinks cuz it full of thing me think bout.

walk. me is like that me can walk some. me has work real hard at walk. it just hard to get use to cane. me like me cane but it just hard walk wit. me no know bout run any time soon but me hope me get take walk in park. me would like take bubbles for walk, but me prob need friend to help. me would like just take walk wit friends.

outside. me do like be outside. me like walk barefoot. me like  have window open in me room an sleep like that. me like sit outside wit dogs an take in nice day. me like take blanket an lay on it in yard wit dogs or friends. me also love listen rain an thunder. me love snow fall.

moms. me love parents. me love meet other persons parents. me think parents are cool. me love to learn from them. me love to see how dads do thing, and learn from them. me mom has be gone for 4 years this month. 25 at 948pm. me member it, it was thursday. me miss me mom. last thing us did was fight an last thing her say me was out anger, me hate you, that what her say. me has no real eve have real mom. me mom was in drugs an alcohol an do stuff wit lots guys. her left when me was 6-7. us no see her for years. then her come round an us no like visit wit her. her would alway pic guy over us. me alway say me is no go be like no either me parents. no no. me love moms. me is very happy to meet momma canady.

work. me has job. it good. easy. an me make sort good money. me is hope by time me move me no need to have cane so much an me will be able speak lot more than not. me think me would like security job for now. me no care if me has work nite shift. ok me do some but it be nice to work nite shift few time week. me think. me know there airport an there is bowin factory. so me is go look into stuff.

strings. me is no like leave me granma. her no know no thing bout what be go on. her just think me is real busy or out town. me dad say that when me move he say to her that me is go off to college. me feel me is go move an then me is no eve go see her gain. an me no like that feel at all. me has decide that me is go spend me first year in wa that mean holidays too. it no go be easy but me will do. then the next year me will go be wit me fam. me animals. me no like leave bubbles here but me is get to be ok wit it. me think me dad an me both have web cam an us have phone so me can say hi eve once in while. me is go miss have stardust lay on me purr purr purr eve nite but him be ok. me car. me has no decide if me is go take me car up there or buy nother car that will make it up there. me think me is go leave lot me no so portant stuff here, til me has place for it.

god. me say to me friend me no know if god is me god. lot of me friends say me trust god, god will take care ever thing, pray to god an say him. me feel like it way for them to blow me off. them no get that me real no know god. me may have but me no do now. them think if them say them things then it make me feel better an it no do. me do pray all time but it no seem help. may be god no like me, may be him loss hope for me. me has read me facebook an twitter an other stuff an me use to believe in god but fact be me no do now. me is work on know god an me is no sure if me believe in him or no. if god be an easy pass an a way for friends say ok me help you now you all better than me is no sure bout god.

sleep. me no has sleep well. yester nite me had dream where me mom was go kill her an me was try stop her. me ran to hospital roof an was hear voicemail her left on me phone. her was say sorry there no thing you can do me love you. an as me jump to save her her jump to end her. it was very sad. me has had bad dream most me life it seem.

home. me is hope go get go home wed. me know me fam has be jerks, them alway are. me just wish them would be um supportive for once. me know this no happen but it be nice if it do, this is how big an dumb some me hopes are. me would like to get home an them be banner say welcome home an flowers an balloons and it be like nice lil party. but me on dream. so me think when me get home me is just go go see movie after me is home for hour or to.

me know me blog yester was short an me seem like jerk, so me spell this an me still sound like jerk bit but me no care. it me job title - jerk, an sound like a jerk is under job duties. so deal wit it. :P