happy halloween...me hope

happy halloween!

me member when we lived on Jules my dad would go all out for halloween an christmas. him would decorate our um forum an living room with boxes an totes full of decorations. lights, animation, all sorts of stuff. our duplex was creepy as was tho. it was crazy. there was some thing in that house. me no believe in ghosts but me do believe in evil things. me dad swears him saw ghost.

last night me watch storm chasers again at 11. then me watched that 70's show, everybody hates chris, and an episode of family matters. me like holiday themed episode of shows.

it has been a long morning. me went an done pt. will do it again in the early pm. try to build muscle back up. work on write, or scribble. an memory games.

me is on soft diet. just to make sure me stomach can handle stuff. applesauce, icecream, soup, broth, yogurt, pudding, mashed tatos, oatmeal. hope by wed me can start harder stuff. it would be great!

so me doc say it is ok for me to help pass out candy to kids. so yay. me love kids. them smile is like a angels kiss. it warms the heart. an the laugh is like a song from heaven. lol.

me is go to be scary. me is go as meself. lol. that is scary.

lot of the nurses are dressed up, long wit docs, an therapists, it makes it a bit fun round here. me guard even dressed up as a police officer, haha haha ha....
the other two one is a ninja, an the other is a lawyer...that is scary. lol

no investigation feed today. them is let me enjoy tv...haha.. it is me treat...now me has pull a trick on them. lol

so me is watch Munsters. Alvin an chipmunks frankenstein movie. then from 5-8 is trick or treat. which me is excited for.

me is sad for me friend jasi. her lost a friend an her is all sad. her is real good at write stuff tho. me wish me could help ease her pain.
stephen is go as a zombie nurse rockstar something. it is pretty scary. lol. no joke. haha. think me would pee me self if him walk into me room. no joke. haha
me miss bambam. noooo joooke. me hope her is alright. me worry bout her. me think her is part elf. just say. there is a reason for that. lol.
me miss shortie an piglet an kara. no joke.

what is funny is ash use no joke last night. her say her talk to me too much. but that it is a good thing. her is pick up on me mannerisms. just hope it is only the good ones. lol.

it is sunny outside. me was freeze all night. me got 8 1/2 hours of sleep. me is still tire. not sure if this is a good thing or not.

pt is a pain in me body. no joke. this build muscle thing is build pain thing instead. but me hope that by the end of the week me can move round on me own, me mean move not walk or anything. tho that would be nice.

so me is real worry bout me bambam.me wish me could do so much more for her than what me is. me is bout ready to break all the rules, no joke, just to let her know what her means to me. that tho this world may be try to break her down, that her is rock hard. they can chip her, but they will not break her. her is an angel. when you is round her you feel piece of heaven. and the only vibe you get from her is complete an total love. no joke.

pass out candy was fun. some of the kids were scary, like me was kinda scare to give them candy. then there were the real little kids that were sooooooooooooooo precious an adorable. no joke! me did have a bad moment so me was out for about 15 mins, but then me got back in on the action. kids kept call me him an sir, boy, guy, man, yep. haha.

one of the nurses brought me a treat. starbucks. lol. the psl. pumpkin spice latte. me is not sure what me is go do wit rest of me night tho me has idea.

me hope everyone has had a safe good halloween!

just to hear you say it...

yesterday me blog me sound very frustrate an like a jerk. me is a jerk. a big one. an me do not care. no joke.

me got to talk wit ash a bit yester night. me think me made her mad tho. me was hope to get to talk to stephen, but me think him is real busy an him need him sleep so him can feel better.

me has few friends that are go thro some hard times an it seems like there is nothing me can do to help. it frustrates me.

me dad found out that it is just him alternator, or him hope that is all it is. me sister has an abscess in her throat. me family is all mad that me is not there. them say me do not care, or me would make an effort, an that me is not a good sister.

this day has be kind of a long day. me was up til 4 am. me just could not sleep. me sleep til 11. me tv broke an them is work on get new one, so me got out of interview feed.... (sarcastic) it is so sad. watched wizards of waverly place for while. then me napped til 1 30ish. at 3 me was told me sister was in hospital. 4 me fever broke. hope it is for good this time.
me feel better wit the fever gone. the pain game real has not changed much. me bad moments have real went down to maybe one or two a day. them say this may be a thing that happen eve once in while. me has not be puke lots. few time a day. physically me is get better, me think, me hope. personally me still feel like a horrible person.

me is frustrate wit the fact that me cannot take care of me friends. me cannot find a single way to make any part of their pain a little lighter. i hate it. just the way me hate that i cannot be there wit me family.

look like me will get out here the week of thanksgiving. if anyone is have ham, me would love some! me is ready for turkey too. me is ready for real food. steak sounds real good.

me is not sure what me is do for me weekend. sleep me know that. but me is not sure. real have no plans. so anyone want to do something?....

me is go to hate say this but it is how me feel. me feel that me should stay off facebook an me phone for while an just let me friends be. me feel things wold be lot better for them. nothing bout  me is help anyone. i just feel that if anything me is make things worse for persons.

me cannot access me  netflix or youtube or pandora. sadness. some reason it is not work for now. so me is stuck wit the tv them did replace. me is glad for that. or me would real be bore out me mind.

one of the nurses is bring me a strawberry milkshake. it is go be yum. me is glad. but it is secrete so no tell, lol.

life is not always easy, an when you are sick it is really not easy. if it had not be for my friends, i would have not make it this far, or prob even be here. them are what gives me hope. them are the reason why me is press on in my adventure.

Masquerade

me has do lot of discover me self. or me old self. me is try find out what me like in music an movies an ect. TFK is awesome, an their song masquerade is mazing. but that is no why me name this post that at all. nope.

yester nite was a no other nite of no sleep. so bear wit me if me spell is off an if me has revert back to a pervious version of me self. what me mean by that is spell version of me self.

me got skype wit ash for a bit. it was real good to see her face an hear her voice. it was nice to get to see a real person, live. me was pose to skype later that nite wit both ash an stephen but some thing came up an it was late an, well, them was go have big busy day today, so me was like, it is ok.

a few mins later me start seisure bad. me real wish them would go way.  it fin got to point where me had to get off me laptop an move it way from me. mme watch lot of disney channel. least me temp is now 104.8.

at 9 am me tv switch to live feed of the investigation. it make me sick to me stomach to watch an hear all that. about 3 one the guards came in wit me mail. by this point me was try to hide me from the tv. me blarred music, an hid under me pillows. at 5 it went off. me was so thankful.

shortie is awesome. ever time me think bout her me has the shortie song go thro me head. you know the one that go - shortie like a melody in me head got me go nananaa ever day got me ipod stuck on replay replay. it is a bad song but if you know me shortie than you can gree, her is one person you no ever get tire of. me got mail from her today. her sent me the sun. no joke. ok. no the act sun, but her catch the sun wit rope an pull it into a card to give to me. the card was awesome! an her sent me phantom of the opera! the newer version. it is her so me has give it back, which is no prob, but me think it is mazing!

me love phantom of the opera. it is good movie. an it puts me to sleep. so me will prob no make it thro the movie once, but me will get sleep. haha. sing to me....da da da daa.

me has no yum today at all. me is still heve. yuck. sad ness.

shortie say when me is out or able have visitors her is go come visit me an we are go have lots fun. this is go be nice. me would real love that.

me love me friends. no joke. an me is go be real cited when me can visit them.
me do no like idea of be in moberly, nor st. jo an me is real glad me is no in kc. those boys family lives in one of those 3 cities. but me is no fraid of them. ok, may be just a bit, but that is on cuz me is no strong nuff to stand up or protect me.

me got a letter from me cousin Allen, him is in prison for drugs an steal. me is go start email him. me has also be get letters from those guys family. eve one of them ends up go to agents. but it make me feel like me is at fault. but there is no a day that go by that me no feel me is no in some way.

just like me say to ash yester nite. me hate put me friends thro all this, so many rules an things that me can an can no do, it freakin sucks. an me hate put them thro that. no a day go by that me do no blame me self for so much.

an wit monday just round the weekend, that blame game is get more players involved. monday be 4 years since me mom be dead. me fam blames me for it, for no be there, for so much, but me alway get blame for most thing in me fam. no big deal. me feel like that lil kid gain: now look, you made you mom leave. - you alway got to ruin eve thing good for me. - it is you fault me no has boyfriend. -why were you no watch you sister? - if you had do this, that would no ever have happen. -me hate you. -it you fault me try kill me. -it you fault that me can no get high/drunk/laid. -it you fault we are live on street. -you on got beat because what you did was bad. -it you fault me did this or that or them did that or this. an so on.
but that was no as bad as what me hear when me try to get help: you is lie. - you did to you self. - you dad/mom would no eve do that, them is too nice. -me will no hear of it. -you deserve it. -the way you act, all nervous an stuff, say to us that you is lie. -how would you like to go to jail for say a lie? an so on.
me whole life it was a sea of voices an that was all them roar out. that is me lil spew for the week.

 who can real say that no of this is me fault. we all have part in ever thing, right?!

guess me spell is still bug some persons. lol. but me was glad when some one act try to correct me. my is one word that me brain will no let come in an stay. but me was glad that them least try.

me was pose to have date nite, but it no happen. ah well.

Jamie say that jesus is leprechaun. him say on an idiot would believe in a fairy tale like that. or one like there is a god. him want me to watch some bout darwin. me is go watch it cuz me say me would. an me listen to vic at flf. him say read thro psalms, an there you will find god an who him is. so me is go do that.
eve one wants me make decision. is it no nuff that me say that yes there is a god, or do me have to get down to details? sorry, it frustrate me. if you did no know, me is in hospital and still very sick. it is go take me prob more than few days to say hey this is who god is an this is where him is. but that is me fault to. me chose to get sick an forget god an what me believe. it is a hard thing. me is luck if me can member yesterday. an you want have big hard chat wit me bout god? no no NO! me is learn little by little eve day. me ask questions when me has them. me has take step by step. me feel like eve one want me to make a choice bout god an get all this out the way before me learn how to sit up on me own, stand, walk, or even speak. me will listen you talk bout god or about why there is no god, me will have chat wit you bout bible an all that stuff, but all me ask is that you stop push me. it is a thing that took me long time to learn before all this happen an now me has to learn it all gain an make a choice. 22 years is no go happen in 2 days or 2 weeks, if eve 2 months.

now on to some else.

me love me friends. me know me alway say this, but IT IS TRUE. me is learn from me friends but as me talk wit them them say that them is learn from me. me no get it real. me is no teach them any thing. me ask them asks, an them answer them, but that is no me teach. bambam say her is learn how to love how to be love an me is teach her lots, an shortie say her is learn to care for her friends an is learn from me. me no get. at all. me is a jerk most time. so me no see how there is love or care in taht.
ebony, who me has no hear from in while, say taht piglet talk bout me lots, an ash say taht her an stephen talk bout me lots. me ask is why? me no get me friends. them is weird, but awesome. haha, it like that nationwide commericial:  -...weird - but awesome!! haha. it is true. no joke. it is like them have bore lives an have no else to talk bout but me. that is weird, an bit creepy, but no true. haha. me love them. an it is good to hear that them love me too. or are talk bout me to eve one else but me, lol, jk. if me give them some talk bout that is fine wit me!

it is go be a weird long next 3 days. adventures away!

mac n cheese

this post has no thing to do wit mac n cheese....ok, may be jus a small small bit do. haha

me could no fall sleep at all. so 6am this morn me fin fell sleep. no joke. me wake up at 12pm. me ach all over. me would like stretch out. me is go be like the old guy from UP, where him pop out bed an crack crack crack. yep, that is go be me. lol

yester day post me say some bout if the guys get no time. Michael, this kid is real smart an real funny, rank bambam wit batman an chuck norris. still makes me laugh eve time me think bout it. me can just see bambam wit mask cape an ninja cloths.
it was a clever reply but one that also has nother side of thot. am me so low an weak that me can no protect me self, that me would let others do it for me? it was no on this reply but one me other friends say it bout time you start stand up for you self. double blow!!
me do stand up for me self, cept when me is smart an think it is no worth the effort, or kno that all the other person want is argue. me has alway stand up for me self, on time me has no is when me has no be able to or thot it best no to. me has alway protect me self too. no on me, but me family an me friends. me will eve protect strangers. no joke.
so why do me need some one else to protect me or stand up for me? if me can no do it for me self what that say bout me? it is simple, it mean that me is weak, a coward, an selfish. which make me a loser an a jerk!

today me has be tire, but what else is new. me is do better wit breath an me oxygen in me mask has gone down.

me is go have to use money me get from work to go to eye doctor. me right eye is one that is mess up. me was do some an look out on me right eye an it is all blurry thro me glasses. boooo. but it is way over due. 4 years. yep. but if me can get perscription me can get glasses cheap.

me did no get color today. sadness. just like me did no get me shower today. double sadness. me did get mac n cheese today. it did no taste good at all, but me yum it. an it was ok. it was better than mash tatos.

me make me bucket list. there is lot to do on it. half me no think will get done but hey me can try.

lot of me friends are sick today. me no like it. if me could me would take them sickness way. me would rather be sick than them. what a pickle.

2 more days. no on will it be the weekend but it will also mean, NO MORE INVESTIGATION, for 2 hole days! 2 more days an 2 me fav persons are get married!!!!!!!!! 2 more days an then begins the 2 day count down. need less to say, me week next week is go start off bad, an monday is go be a bad day. me wish me could skip it.

me has be member bits an pieces of me college years. it is very frustrate cuz it is just things that no tell me much or that no connect.

since me has alread say me believe there is a god, just no sure what or where it is, or even who, me is go say some else. me think pray is a good idea. even if you do no believe that there is a god or in the god that hears pray, you should try pray. it is a good way to help you unstress. me do it. me just think bout me day an me friends an that is it, but that is me pray.

me got message from Richard, me new friend in Seattle. him tell me to do me research cuz me is in for a big surprise. me has experience many other cultures, an me has be in KC lots. lol.

me was do some think today bout halloween. me thot it be funny to dress me dog Bubbles up as a bunch of bubbles or a bottle of bubbles an me dad dog Elvis as elvis! it would be funny. an cute. me is kind sad me is no go be there for halloween. it is ok tho.
me is kind upset bout leave bubbles here in MO. Me will prob no see her in person for a year or so, an that is real hard to take in. an know me luck me would go way an that would be last time me see her. her is happy wit elvis an me family. her an elvis are best friends, who am me to break them up? who am me to break bubbles heart an mine by seperate us? me wish me could take her wit me, or that me had a pup that was no best friends wit the others me could take wit me, but wishes are dreams that are no mean to be.

me has had good day, but lot things in it are just very sad an try to break me down.

it is a long hard journey. one full of heart ach an pain. one full of mystery an shame. but the on thing me is out to gain, is freedom from all this rain!

day 2

me has no be sleep well. an about 12:15am me got to feel the crisp fall air an see the unstarry sky. me is tire of this. me has no clue why persons are so cruel in this world. there is no reason for anyone to have it set out that them is go destroy a person.
me new room is smaller, lot. no window still. me has met me new guards. there is six all to gether. them seem cool. two stand at door while one sit at nurse station. them switch up ever so often. there is to lady ones. one seem mean, but it just her seem, me no think her is. me could be wrong.


it is o most wed an it o read seem like it be week. again the tv was hook up to where me has to watch whole investigation. me is jus glad me is no there. one thing that stuck out today, an if me get in trouble for say this, ah well, was this:

          "her life is the on thing hold me here. wit out her, you would have no thing an me an me brother would be free. her life for the last 4 years has be no thing. her has be run, cuz her is wuss. her has be hid behind lie that ever thing will be fine when her kno it will no be. an her purpose, her has kno that too, an has love ever min of it."

it just went on an on. an him no ever admit to any thing, so them can no use no thing against him. :/ . feb 012 will be 5 years an if him is no charge by then them him will have less time. me o most feel it all jus go end up wit no thing happen. no sentence, no time, free to do it gain. an it that happen, an it happen gain, me no think me could live.
me no want go thro it all gain. #truth

eve one is say how it is def become fall out, cuz it get cold. me feel it too. it is cool in me room. me has 3 blanket. me sleep no soon after me got here an me think nurse, who is real nice, put extra blanket on me. me sleep real good wit it. me had lot weird dreams. me dreams are alway weird. like that one wit the indians also had me friends, an persons from glee. ya, me know, weird!

today me stomach has hurt lot, feel like some one yank on me stomach. me has be real shake all day. lite headed, an eve time me take deep breath me left side throbs wit a sharp pain. me is still no able breath well, but hey, who cares. lol

me has date on friday. an saturday afternoon. make me happy that me get to in way be at wedding!

me fin got to chat wit me pig for a bit. me was real happy bout that. her crack me up.
then me found this stat an me had to give in to bambam's thing bout me be awesome, an admit it, but it was on once, so, her is win!

me last few post have either be very down or toned in anger. me is no go say sorry, cuz it is how me is feel.

me think morrow me is go see if me can get some crayons or coloring book, me is go want try. maybe you color wit me? :)

me adventure just keep get more interest. the journey bit hard er eve day but, it is life, an no one say it would be any where near easy.

aufgebracht

thunder. it is the noise that let us kno a storm is come. it shake house, car, even trees, an persons. some fear it, some love it, some it can go both way.

there is no window in me room. but me kno it has be storm, cuz me can hear the thunder.

today has be quite the day. me spent lot of day sleep. after stay up til 2 watch Amityville Horror, which scare the fudge out me. then me watch spiderman an him mazing friends. me spent most me nite up chat wit ash, an then wit piglet for bit. both fell sleep on me. watch storm chasers, an it was intense episode. then watch this thing an it was cool just real strange.
the nurse had come in an put music on while me was sleep, guess her figure it would help me sleep. me woke up to hear this song by FF5, no alone, an since that song me has had, just tell me me is no alone, stuck in me head. it rings so true for me. but...w.e.

when me did wake up it was like 2pm, me had be up before that but on for bits at time. me tv was on an me could bare hear it. on me table was note that say, want you be part of this so gave you week an now it is time to get involve. it was from the agents. so me spent me afternoon listen an watch them interview one person an then me stomach bout fell to floor. them brot in david. so from 3:30 to 6, me listen to him say lie after lie after lie.

me spent most day yesterday wait for piglet to get on facebook or to text me. me did get text but it was from ash, an me got confuse on who was who. it suck. ash an me had good chat tho. piglet got on for bit after. an now me has be wait for time me has be up to hear from piglet...............

so this god thing....
here is me thot on it so far. for one, me hate when persons say, god exists whether you think so or no. um, do no say that too me, me will serious punch you in face, same wit some one who say, god do no exist an that is some you need to kno. SHUT UP! no joke.
now, that that is out there... me think that there is a god of some sort. whether him is god of bible - an hey that is wht me use believe, right?! that was me, then me forgot, an now me has to find out for me self. but me do like that this line bring peace, love, an friendliness. me also like the stories, an the act of pray. it is no a bad thing to spend time believe in some an be good an all, in the end whether wrong or right, least you live good life. -
the thing of there is no god. this can no be a belief. serious. if you no believe in god of bible, or believe that there is no such god, then you must think you you self is god. if you say there is no god, than you must on believe in you self an that make you a god, so there in you are you own god.
whichever, there is a god. me would like to hear why some persons believe in god of the bible an why some do no believe in a god.
just member it is me choice. keep batter me an me could possible make a choice no one will like. no joke.
this is no go be a over nite thing either. an hey if me die, well, me no have worry if me is go heaven or hell, right, cuz me has alread gave me heart to god, right?.
if you say this whole thing is stupid, well, guess what, me is a freak n dumbass, so yes it may be a stupid thing, but me is go do it. no like, then eff off! <--- :O , yes me did just say that!

so this whole, tell me that me is no alone, thing...
me has had ruff day. me chat wit shortie an her is like, is some thing up?, ...you seem like you do no care. - that has be right. me is where me no care. me no care if me live. me no want wake up cuz ever min me is wake me wish me was back sleep, or dead. no joke. me friends, them is like you is no lone. bs. me is very lone. in a room wit no windows. an me has computer an me has phone but how much interaction do me get wit persons on those, hard none.an then me have spend this whole week watch that stupid tv, listen to lies an details an all for what? pure torture? an me has try turn tv off, or mute it an them has it fix to where me get control bck after certain time. which sucks! an me has 3 dif trials me has to worry bout.

me is angry an hurt. an what sucks is me has deal wit it all on me own. cuz that is how it alway is. lost an so afraid where is the hope/love in a world so cold?! feel the love, what love, serious, me feel cold an mad, hurt an scare, an love is where?! no joke.

this adventure sucks. it feels like a jounrney to no where.

blah

now for a real post. that last post was broat to you by me life as a human an no a goose!! :P

late le ever night seem to end wit me fight me motions. me is a very care person. me no like to see other persons hurt sad mad or sick. me care lot for persons who are in me life. so when them is sad hurt mad or sick me is sad hurt mad an sick. it just how me is.
if me is no fight wit me motions me is fight wit the issue of continue me journey or give up. if you was in me shoes me bet you would have this happen all time to. but me go to sleep, if me can, an me wake up, if me is no o read e up.

yester nite was a horrible nite. no joke. there was lot of things me member. an me became so um overwhelmed. an things just keep pile on. me fine came to a point where me said this is either go break me or make me. so me say hey, me is done! me was real upset an hurt wit lot of me friends an lot of things that had go on that day.

now Jamie want to sit there an try get me argue on if jesus is real, if the bible is true, an all this other stuff. me can no argue nothing, me can no even argue me name. no joke. me is no sure if me is for god or no. but it is me choice to make. me is no who me was before. me has relearn lot of stuff. me is go do research an me is go make sure that when me make that choice that me is sure it choice me want make. that right, it me choice, no one else. an trust you me, me is ask hard questions.

me right side of me chest has be tight an in lot of pain last day an today. it hurt to breath in. it is no fun. yester nite me head hurt so much from so many chats go on an other stuff, an it got to point where me was forget ever thing. me had to keep get me bearings ever min or so. me is real tire. on got hour of sleep. me is have seizures gain. boo. bloody nose is become a reg thing too. me still can no move.

that asshole doc was a jerk gain today. him say me is no try hard nuff an it no prisse him when it come to idiots like me. Jasi say me should have use a sign thing that me learn on him but me can no lift me hand an it is some me would feel bad bout later. lol. Jamie is in this same category. him is like me just want help you learn da truth.

me can say this, yester an today, me has seen points for why god do no exist fall thro as lies. but like me say me is go make choice for me self.

me watch movie wit bambam. it was funE movie. it was real good. what was no good is me forgot her. me forgot lot stuff. me whent sleep for hour me wake up an me no know who me is where me is or who anyone else was. it was scare. it was no fun. an me kno it make others feel bad when me forget them. :/ poo.

me has do lot say wit Jasi. Her is real cool person. me real like her lot. her has be real good friend. us have lot in common. her say we twins. this mean me has 3 twins.

me feel me is become distant from me friends. an it is no me, it is me friends. so must mean some is wrong wit me. true story.

me is work on sign. me is watch lot of video in sign. me kno how to sign me can only imagine in sign have for years.

some is wrong wit me head. me is get better at stuff but me memory is get worse. just be warned.
me is no sure where me wheel chair is. maybe the persons decide to no give it to me. sigh.

this is me adventure. it is no very good, o least no right now. but the journey is no over, in fact, it has just began.





police academy

bandages removed.

movie nite

wheel chair

convo wit ash

forget you

this post is some that need be say. it is no go be detail or even close to have an um description. it is for me um benefit. you no like it well you no have to read.

lot no know me has 2 blood sis. all girls were born first then me brothers. (me can no member them names so if you know please let me know). in 1997, 2 days before her birthday me youngest sis was kill at age of 2. this is some that is hard no to blame me own self for cuz me was left incharge.

me whole life me was in an out foster care, or on an off the streets. in 2004 me went into foster care 2 weeks before christmas. christmas eve me dad call me an say me granpa was in hospital. me lost it an bawl. me just knew that this was go be the last christmas wit me granpa. us were no llowed by our social work to go see him. first week of january us got out of foster care. that day us went go see him. it is some me wit a good brain will no ever forget. few weeks after that him die. ever since that year christmas has no be the same an no one in any part of our fam has spent that day some where other than wit fam.

soon after me granpa die, few weeks after. me got me a pup. him stay at me moms. me member when me first saw it, me was like what the hell is that ugly thing on our porch. then me got closer and realize it was a pup. me neighbors an me mom say me can have him. me mom name him an then our dog became me dog. Brownye Fudge Champ Frakes jr (no there is no senior, it jus sound good). him became me best friend. esp when times at me moms got ruff an me did no want be there. us would baracade us in me room for hours. wait for the fight an yell an ever thing to stop. most time it was over me or bout me. no joke. me mom hate me an me no know why. there was lot of violence in that house. after few years brownye developed a problem an became very mean. it seem him was alway chase invisible flies as we would say. him became very protective of me. an he did no like anyone that was no me.
there came several times me mom threw the dogs out, Charlie was our other dog for while til me mom boyfriend at time took him an threw him in river on time when me was at counsel session. along wit the dogs her also throw me out. dead of winter an me an the dogs be outside try to stay warm in this small dog house. there was even one time me mom was go get rid of me dog cuz her boyfriend did no like him. so me went thro that heart ache an then me got keep him. soon me go off to me think college. one summer me was in town for break work an me dad call me up an say us have 2 hours to get rid of me dog. me bawl so much. me went home an try every one an everything me could to keep me dog. 5 years me had him. well, me is no go say what happen in detail. that tuesday became one of the hardest day of me life. him was live last time me has see him.

same week me lose brownie me best friend Chris left to go over seas. few months later him was kill. me was go marry him when him got back. he had ask me to that summer. no too long after me had had surgery.that was the summer me spent me birthday in hospital.

lets go back to 2007. me graduate. me was late for me own graduate, an me o most miss it. it was no me fault. me has spend all me senior year up to a month before graduate in the children home. me had be stood up by me prom date, who lived wit me in the home. him ran off wit another girl who also lived in the home. it had been one crazy year, an now graduate day, an me o most miss it. me got to walk cross the stage an grab me diploma. that was a milestone that marked me greatest acheivement in me life.
that fall me mom was kill on October 25, a thursday at 9:48pm (that is when her die). that winter me family got in big car wreck. o most all me ribs were broke. it was kind cool.

the begin of that year, superbowl 07 was a day that would change me life for long time. me had to work that nite so me went in. when me got off me had to go to the theater to make phone call. me no ever make to theater. me was shoved in a car an raped. at 17. me no say nothing to no one til 2 years later. me thot it was 3 but it was 2. me no say no cuz me was live in children home, me was senior, an me was scare. but me no realize that me silence would cost me in me future.
in 2010 this guy show back up in me life. him bring him brother. it went on for while. cops would no do no thing. me left in march to go to arkansas to get way from it. me got to arkansas an found out that me was prego. me was kick out from place me was stay 3 months later. me spent few weeks in me car. then one day me had horrible pain. me lost the twins. me lost the babys of me rapist, or of one of the 2 guys. me on say this to few persons. them first persons me did say them were no support at all. me no say me family, me was all lone in this. me was go keep the twins to show that jus cuz them did some bad does no mean that it was go have bad end result.
2 weeks after me 22 birthday, these brothers showed up at me house an raped me again. it happened gain after that, an may be gain, me is no sure. one time them cause a great gash on me head. that wound became infected, an abscess formed an me got real real sick. an here me is.
me dream bout me twins lot. them were so cute an full of love. them smile would cause any one heart to melt. an me lil girls laugh made me member that in dark times there is alway some hope, we jus have find it.

some will be read this an say, how can you member all this an no member god...well, speak to me brain. me no kno. it is mystery.
as for the god thing. me is no sure where me stand. me use believe but that was before me forgot. so now me is relearn. but me is go make sure me is get  good pic of it an look at both sides before me say yay or nay bout god.
an no question me bout me memory. me woke up yester an forgot who me was for hour. me woke up today an me was no member who me was, where me was, an me has no kno who lot of persons are that me has speak to are, me do now. so if u want ask me bout how me can no member god, jus think bout this, how can me be me for 22 years an wake up one day an no member who me is?

you can sit there an say me dumb, a kid, a retard, a mute lame or what ever you want. guess what, me is no smart, me is dumb because me is have relearn lot of stuff. me is no kid, but that is how me brain is work, is like that of a kid. me can go wit retard to, me is no normal an me do have some mental issues. no me is no mental, well guess on who you ask, me just have memory problems. mute, well no flippin duh, here is a cookie. me can no speak, that is a mute. an of course me is lame too, here is a cracker, that is what you call a people who can no walk. so time to move on cuz hey, it is no bug me. can no say some bad an think it go bug me if me is sit there say yeah, you is right. on people it go bug is you.


this is me adventure, an me will be as defective as me want be in it, or have be, an me will be fine wit it. if you no want join me on the journey choice is you, but either way me has a long road head of me an there is no thing that is go stop me.

Thursday

me thot me was go sleep for bit an then say wit ash. me no sleep at all. so me watch news think it put me out fo sho. then come to find out it pull me in an me could no stop watch it. Topeka has done way wit law of domestic violence, so now it is ok to beat one nother up. :/ an in washington them is think bout do way wit p&p, so 100's of criminals be walk round have no one keep tabs on them. got to admit, me is lil freak out bout both these issues. an on top that multi vitamins no help but hurt u, so me is go start fuse to take me multi vitamin.

one the nurse that real like me took me to hallway window so me could see the clouds. them was PRETTY! me loves the clouds, storm clouds. big puffy an purple blue.

me did get say wit ash yester nite. just for bit tho. me want her to have time wit stephen. :)

me kind got pinch by some of what lot persons say all day. it no big deal cuz me kno it true, but it jus some me is um sensitive? bout. me spell! it is bad. an me is work on it. me is real try hard. an me say to ash when me say wit her, me no see words way them is see by eve one else. here is few words to help u get what me say (nurse did help me wit this)

me to me is i.    persons is group. people is one.    get mean um sense or um understand.   say mean talk, tell, told, said.    spell mean um write.  no is not.

this is how me brain see stuff. but u can help an um make right when me no say right. it will frustrate me cuz me brain no see that way but me has to learn. an me think some me friends or persons get frustrate wit it. an that make me even more frustrate. *nods* an if any thing me is pinch by me spell cuz me is have hard time wit it. but this me will get better at to.

day me head hurt lot. me feel some one hit me wit hammer. an me chest is hurt. me think me wisdom teeth are fin come in. me right side of me mouth is hurt lot. me teeth are real sharp too. me could cut me tongue in pieces. lol. me is no go to, me is jus say me could. lol. now me can no lift me head at all. nurse prop me up an put pillow hind me head an computer in me lap an hands on it.

few persons keep ask me if me can have visitors, it sad. me want visitors but them have keep me safe. them no kno just how um dangerous? me friends are to gether. hahaha. them will keep me safe. ;) . sad tho me can no see no them faces til the other guy is put behind bars. :/. but in way u can come visit. hahaha. me has find it but me do have skype. me just can no video call or voice call but u can. it no same cuz u can no see me or hear me, no that there is some to hear, an trust me u no want see me face, it no look like me. lol. or if u no time to skype or IM u can make video :). lol, jk. on if u want to. or u can send card or letter or some. kara send me pic of her an me :) wit her card. manda send me chuggers wit her card. it just idea for those who are like me an frustrate that me can no have visitors yet.

mama canady call me mazing young lady. me gree wit most it. haha. me is some what mazing. me is young, an me keep forget me is 22 an no 16, lol. no joke. me kno no why but me just find it weird when persons call me girl or babe or sweets, lady, or even woman. me is use to certain persons call me certain things. so when me here it from some one else, it is weird.
lindsey - girlie   bambam - honey  becks - sweetie  lynn - girl   jess - babe . haha.

me dad say me is very picky, an him is right. lol. but that is main wit food an foot ware.

me say wit jasi for bit. her had good nite an me was glad. her was happy an when her is happy me is happy.

me got a bad message from a friend over some stuff me family start. them was pretend to be me an sent me friend message thro one me emails. them hacked me. them jerks! them has do other stuff too. so now me friend is mad wit me an no say to me, an me guess me no blame them.  it just suck.

me has spend most me day sleep. me has had real weird dreams. them bit scare but it ok. me is real tire. me is wear oxygen mask now. it no longer the nose thing, but the mask. me feel like me can no breath at all. me is no feel well at all. motions get me down an sick kick back up. but me is go try to keep smile on me face.

this day is no over. me adventure is no over. me still has lot of beast to slay, new land to um conquer?, enemies to defeat, an allies to meet. me adventure has just begun, an there is still more to come!

fry day

me had scan earl e this am. me feel like me brain is fry in me head. like eggs in a pan. cept this is a real BIG egg, ok, so no so big but lot big than egg. jus bit big than egg. me brain is real small. them say a scan late today an that will um choose if me need surgery or no.

me have nice say wit ash an shorite. all me has see all day is that me is sweet kind awesome people an that there is no way me could eve be jerk. me think there some wrong wit them. shortie say me no see good in me or good part of me. me kno me has good part but me no like to brag on it. me also kno me is jerk mean selfish an me complain lot.
ash say it jus me try figure out what go on in me world, that is true to, but me complain too much. her also say me is jus say how me feel.
few say them like read me blog. me is no sure why. them say it is me life in words, it is encourage, me is super sweet, an me is honest bout how me feel. this is no true. me is no alway all honest. me start say thing an then me choose no to, me jus feel it is go be super harsh an mean an hurt someone. this is no me life in words, some of it is, but no real. me no see how it encourage at all. have any u eve yum me? no, then how can u say me is super sweet? :P
me is sure me is be sweet when me point out that some me friends who say them me friends are be super jerks an no good friends or friends at all. yep that sure is sweet of me. but me no care. me is go be honest bout it. there is no excuse to take one minute out of day to say hi or that u is think of someone. me no just say this for me. me is say this for all. it no have be facebook, text u friends. if u say u friend be a friend or fry away the friendship. me is no say to me friends on, me is say to all world. be friend to others that u want to have. if u want good friends be good friend. if u want awesome friends be an awesome friend.
yep. me jus say that. it is what me think. wit that said. me is no awesome friend, so me no kno why me has awesome friends. serious.

me has be dumbfinded by few simple thing that few persons have say to me.

shortie say her like when me wake cuz then her can say to me.
bambam say that what me has to say is important an her want to hear what me has to say.

these are things in me whole life that me has no ever once hear. an if me has me no member, or persons no real mean. me cry when them both say them things. me kno them mean it. persons alway thing me is shy but truth be say, eve time me try say some persons alway act like me is no worth hear an shove me off like me is no thing. an use it me hear that persons can no wait for me go to bed cuz that on time that life is real good for them. me no real eve hear any one say them like say wit me. so it is total weird to hear it, but it jus make me stop an me heart sink. it would u too if u spent most of 22 years hear that u just no worth the listen to, or say wit.

piglet say the me is encourge mint. her say this (me copy an paste) -

And some people are heroes by the way we see them live their lives. They keep going through the sunshine and the rain, no matter what. You are one of those people. You keep pushing through even though life kinda sucks at the moment...

me no think persons realize me struggle. eve day me fight wit the thot of die. will today be the day, will me make it thro, die seem so much easy choice than fight, it make all happy if me did die or do die, no one miss me, life would be so much better wit out me...an yat yat ya. it is a day an hour struggle. me think what is me fight for, why should me keep fight, blah blah blah. it serious stuff.

no to mention that me get frustrate wit the um constant god thing persons say. back to square one. truth is me no care bout rerelearn all gain right now.that bad? me is jus to tire. an if me is go have nother surgery me just feel me should wait. me no want forget gain. if u is go say some bout god, gain me say this, make sure u say me that me get it.

me will help u bit. me mind set is no that of me age, me mind set is that of kid. so no do all time, but say stuff as if u say to kid, main when it come to real hard stuff, big words, an god. me will say if me get or no get.

yester me blog bout how me was no sure me was go get go to ash an stephen wedding. me an ash was say an her say that if me is out of hospital by wed time that them would come get me. me would be special guest. me brain want to take it one way, special as dumb friend wit cane who can no speak an can no be on own, but, yes me mention a butt, haha (me love that joke), me let me heart  take it as a friend them love. it make me feel good. her say if me is no out then them can set up skype so me can sort be there. me was think, that be awesome an bambam could watch too.

me real like say wit ash yester. us say bout old cartoons. it was good. me LOVE cartoons, but mainly old ones. an some newer ones too. me use like the dumb sidekick persons on the cartoons, an right now me feel me can relate to them. man, it would be awesome to be patrick star, or cosmo!!!

me also say wit mama canady for bit. me is go have find name to call her. me has thing wit names.. an late nicknames have help me kno who is who. bambam is like u can jus call her mom, but me has on real eve call one people mom an that was me mom. some time me call me aunt mom, an it the family thing round here wit me sibs so me say wit others some time me mom, but me no like to. so me has got find name for her. me love mama canady an her make me heart do this --> :D . yep. her is so sweet an kind, love an care, an her pass it to her girl, bambam. which mean that that family has be awesome. no joke.

me temp is 105.4. me head is real hurt lot. me has ice pacs an the room is cold, but me is so hot. me keep have seisures. them is no fun. me fell off bed to ice yester nite. nurse made in both time to keep me head from hit ground. them fin put strap over me. so me is strap like seat belt in me bed. me want sleep all time. me on get 2 3 hour at time an then them wake me up. me is no dog. them use let me sleep lil longer in morns. me no want feed tube so me try eat what them give me. me eat most it an then it jus come right back up. them is try keep me from go deaf. me is alread half deaf in me right ear. even tho sometime me can hear real well wit that ear. me keep have blind in me left eye. it come an go. them is prise me has no have stroke yet. yester nite pain was so bad for most nite that me was shake so bad me was hold on to bed arm cuz me was scare me was go shake right off me bed.

me can no wait have me phone back. it be nice. me want to get motorola phone. me need get sd card for me phone. me hope me can find some one to get me pics off me old phone. it has me first pics of stardust.
me needs to get new glasses too. me has had these no change for 5 years. me can see wit out them, it just far way is some blur. me has stigatism.

me like all me friends lots. me wish me got say wit them more. me is go be real happy when me get met them aall an see them gain. yes yes.

when me horrible pain fin went way an me stop shake, me was think bout when me move. me cide me is go try find me nice van or jeep or wagon to buy an me is go give Wilbur to me aunt, or me dad. an me figure gas an it on under $300 to get there. no bad. an it 1 day an few hour trip. but that no case for me. it is go be longer. cuz me is go sleep for bit. haha. me keep think bout video that Julia show me an the seals. them were funny. me is happy to see seals. it may sound dumb. me has on see seals an other animals in the zoo. me is no so scare of water no more. high is nother thing. haha. me think as long as me wit bambam me has no thing be scare of, haha, cept her. lol. her is one tuff cooke, jus no try eat her. lol.
me is go try take plane out there to visit at end of January. me think me will welcome break, be glad to meet the fam, and get seat next to window. yep.

them agents say them is go set up cams an start investigate next week. an me is go get watch whole thing, bo-mean yay! (me is go sleep thro most it.) haha. me forgot what them is investigate but me is sure me member some time.

me hate member an then forget an member gain. it sucks balls. yep me say it.

me was come back from scan this am an there was to nurses push a gernie down hall wit some one who had die on it. it has be on me mind lot day. me think bout chris an die. me think bout me sis an me mom. me think bout me granpa, me think bout Tiffany, an so many other persons who have die. me has be to lot of funerals.

me is no sure what me do for weekend yet. it be cool to sort have video chat. tho me can no do video, u can. me can no. haha. me can no do voice chat, u can. me can no. but that be cool. watch movie or jus see some new. yes u be new to me eyes. lol. an it be nice to hear some other than this silence or machines. but me no think it happen. haha. it dream. just like me wish some one send lot of paint haah, me can throw all over walls an then it be some new to look at. haha.

me watch Alice in Wonderland wit shortie. her did lot of say dur movie. which is ok. me like it. me love movie.

me family has be stress me out an me is no eve there. me is glad me is no there right now. me sis is have problem wit her ex boy friend an him family, me aunt is have problem wit her husband, me sis an me bro are steal an get real deep into drugs, one bro is deal wit court, me other bro me twin is be threat an all sort stuff. what me real hate is that me sis exboyfriend fam has come over to me dad house an cause trouble an in process hit me dog. that is big no. us no hit animals in me house unless it spank for be bad, but that is out of love. me is very mad bout it.

me has had bad rest of day. me seisure real bad an hit me head. it knock me out real good. right now me feel like crap. me feel worse than me did before. me is alway get worse an no better. 

grave digger

this could be me last blog. no cuz me go stop spell but cuz me may be in me last hours. but this could be you last hour too. any hour can be our last hour.

yester nite me temp go up 5 degree in 90mins. me got real sick. me puke blood an what eve else me body could. me start shake lot. me were real cold at first an then me go back an forth from cold to hot. me have lot pain. feel like some one is over an over stab me an kick me. me head is hurt lot. me has had 4 seizures since 2am. me is see stuff an hear stuff. me is dizzy. it hard breathe. all this is still go  on.
them has do tests an scans since all this start. me has no be able sleep. them no let me sleep. them fraid me go into coma an die. them has no idea what wrong wit me. me temp right now is 106.4.

me friends are mazing. me love them. me love you. me would love have friend here to hold me an tell me it all go be ok. me know that sound weird, but me is so tire of be in this room lone. no at all.

persons say them are proud of me, them is honored to be me friend, but me has no do no thing for persons be proud or honored. if me do any thing it is complain lots.

me ask michael bout heaven an him say to me not much but nuff that me got it. him say that when you get to heaven it like big party. him also say that there be many persons that would miss me if me go. me is try believe him but it hard.

me say to me friend that me no know if me make it to her wedding. her is mad at me. me feel real bad bout it. me can no help it.

me an Jasi watch movie nite an it had part that cause me to member why me is in hospital. me an me stupid self. me still blame me for it. no matter what persons say me think me will alway blame me or it will take while til me no do.

me had scan. me hope them find some. me was in bathroom an me look in mirror an you can see where one scar is cuz hair is gone. lol.

shortie say she tire and was go to bed and me say to her goodbye like it be last goodbye ever. it no make me feel good at all.

me is very lone here. me feel very lone. me know that some me friends no know what to say but me wish them just say something. say wit me, ask me some asks, or something. it be better than me feel like me is some sort disease that them can no even say to.

me feel like me should be dig me own grave. just dig hole an you can throw me in it. that is how me feel. this is me blog. this is me life. me is no who me use be. me feel like kid. me has to relearn ever thing an me has learn how walk lit an non lit on me own gain. battle up for war, fight me battle, an be a victor. or least try.

bore out me mind

yester nite an early am was real hard for me. took lot out me. as hard as me friends try me mood no change at all.

me no get sleep til 7am an then me be up at 10 an no go back sleep. me had horrible dreams.

me has spend day clean out me email an watch big bad bettleborgs. me sided leave friends lone. let them be. them need time to love life wit out me for bit.

me no read story day an me on got out bed to use bathroom. me no eve look out window, me no care to. me has stay in bed.

it has no be good day. me mouth is real hurt me, me head is o most no hurt. me has no sleep well last few nites. like me ever sleep well.

morrow me may do same thing as day.

yes me can

yester nite was good. no good me head was kill me. it was good cuz me friends make it good. me was get frustrate wit persons who say them me friend but yet treat me like me is worthless crap. an it was real bug me. me feel like me was let lot get to me since me was real tire an drug up an no to say the pain too. bambam was like say to me. at first me just feel like me be hassel. me was upset wit way some me friends treat me an me just feel me was go say some wrong an come off wrong to bambam an make her mad. then me think, me has no ever make her mad or o least that what her say to me. so me say her some what in me heart. an us talk. me like when us talk. make me feel better an me know it real did yester nite.

me is use to be good friend an no have good or great friends. me is real glad god give me great friends. bambam say to me that may be god show me who me good friends are an who me bad friends are. me no friends wit just anyone on facebook. me is careful bout me friends on facebook. me even make it hard to find me. me no give me location on facebook either. good number persons no know where me live or what town me is in. it kind funny.

me has be watch big bad beetleborgs. me use watch as child but it see lot better. it still pretty good.

me had hard nite sleep. me wake up lot. me head hurt lot lot lot. it on cuz it real sensitive. me no can shower gain for 7 days. boo.

me had nuff in me bank count to get me a nice hat an a cane. them should be here soon. me still has get new phone an look at get new laptop. me also think me need beanie. me hair short, an it get cold out so me head get cold.

yester me was happy hear from Jerusha, Tiffany, Jasmine, Rachel, Nikki, Tina, Michael, Ashley an Stephen, an Kim. it made me glad. make me smile when Kim an me got say for bit. me is so happy to get meet her. an what real make me happy was bambam say me that her an me big sis becks friends on facebook! now me two big sis' friends an it awesome. me an bambam gree us need visit her.

so now me have two mazing thing look forward to in me future. move to washington an visiting me big sis. but one the most happy things will be to give real hug to bambam an her parents instead of a scribble picture hug.

me end up sleep good long time. me wake up an me head still hurt me lots an lots. it smell real real real yum in me room. nurse put what she say a candle warmer an candle in me room. it smell mazing!

me sis becks post video on me wall. it was lot to get in me brain so me no got lot. me just know it was sad.
me sis bambam spell on me wall that her watch sun rise. her say it very pretty. me is very glad her got to do that. she say me is much more mazing than sun rise but me no know them are pretty mazing, me think. lol

me no like to take joy in me. me know me has thing that make me awesome at times but me no like to brag bout or stuff. me think there so many in world who no know that them is mazing or love an them need it no me. me like say to persons how awesome an special them are.

me has pt in bit. me go eat first. me think them go start me try steps. me is very scare cuz me has no had stand an go down or up in step. me has learn an get tho. me think piglet live on top story an her prob has lot of step. me has to get up them all if me go stay wit her. :)

me has ask - how you end a pray? me no member an me no think no one say me how. what is church? what is minister?

me put ? by words cuz me no sure if me um say word right or if it right word to say or all that fun stuff.

me is yum so me go eat now then pt. when me say go me mean me be in bed but me go eat cuz me is yum. me would share wit you but it be no good by time it get there. lol.

me go pt. me did very good. me even spell one word on paper. guess what word was? no, you no right, are you? me spell LOVE. me took more steps today. them say them take me outside morrow!!! yes yes. them surprise me wit me can. it rived. it pretty blue. an it easy use. me like it. me did better in memory too. an me got one step up step an one down step. it was good pt. now me go try make to window later. me no think me will cuz me is tire but me is go try. yep.

me dad think it weird me have cane an him keep send me jokes bout it. me say him me go wack him wit me cane. me do no think him believe me. me no lie. me will wack him. no me prob no wack him. haha. it sound nice tho. but me no like be mean. me no like hurt persons. no no. me like be very nice. me show you.
one easter me family an me were at bartlett park for egg hunt. hunt had finish an me had do good. me was walk round an there was kid cry. me was on 7-8. me ask why him cry. him say him no get no thing. so me open me bag an me gave him all that was in it. him mom came over an watch whole time say to me you no have do that. me say me no real need any this. me uncle an cousin come over an ask what happen all me stuff. me say to them what me did an me uncle made me cousin give me some his stuff. me do stuff like that all time.

me is no go worry bout me computer for now. it ok. me no worry bout me car. since me no use it most time or hard any time me let me aunt worry bout it instead. me phone. me get pay check even tho me be in hospital so me should be able get phone if me phone now no work. it just suck. me pics an stuff on it. boo.

me go read bible story. me read story of the message. here me asks -
    if joseph good then why in jail?
    how did joseph care for other persons in jail?
    why would butler forget joseph when joseph help him?
    why would corn eat corn an cow eat cow? it me no get.
    how did king know that joseph was wise?
me read story of a surprise visit. here me asks -
    why had no food grow for 7 years?
    why did joseph no say to them that he was their brother?
    why were his brothers afraid of him?

me watch wizards waverly place. max got turn to girl an there was no way turn him back. him parents enter him into girl contest an him won. it was funny. me love this show. batman cartoon on an me love this. me use watch ever sunday at 5.

me has be feel pain in nother part of me body. it is no good. me no like it. me lip is feel bit better. me is read for it no hurt. it hard to eat. an me lip alway go dry. me head is still hurt much. it hurt as much as it did yester nite. but me is no a big baby bout it today.  me cut me finger open day. me no mean to. haha. it was hurt lot now me no even know it hurt.

me is get yum. me go eat.

me made to window!!!!! me get put blinds up an look out. it is pretty. me see trees an grass. them trees are pretty colors. sky is pretty colors. it pretty outside! yep. today be great awesome day! an me nite is go be peace an nice too!

4 Weeks An Counting

me no spell good so you have deal wit it! :)


me be here 4 weeks. me know no what happen or why me here other than me brain got real sick. me got real sick too. me hope tho that me on be here one more week.


Yester day me got took real shower. me got unstink. me smell real bad before me shower. me was scare me head look all ugly an like crack up egg. but it no look bad. me look like peach with marks on it. doc talk them fix up scars so them no that noticable. this make me smile. me no want scare children or me when me pass mirror? or windows. lol. me do has some hair. it no long, but me like feel it, it all smooth an nice. me no suppose rub it but me think it feel weird, sort in bad way, when me head is touch an you no can real feel dents. me forgot what them talk them did but some new thing. at least it no metal. lol. think try get thro airport or courthouse, lol.


me have be work to look out window. me want to see what out there an me hope it pretty. me member bambam talk me once her want send flowers. me look round me room and flowers be pretty in here. me start off an me could on stand 30secs me still no able stand well or balance well. me use monitor iv thing hold on to and try walk. me got 2 step then 3 steps and now 8 STEPS!!! that LOT for me. me o most make to window. me can see top trees an then me had grab chair on wheels an sit. sigh, me make to window soon.

me phone mess up. it turn on an go service day screen and then restart gain. me no money get replace, so me hope phone company replace it or fix it. net10 sucks. yep. me on have phone 3 months.

me thought me were go lose job but me found out me get more hours. so me go work 15 hours week.

also me look at canes an cute hats. me found few me like. blue cane that folds, me no know if me like that it fold or not but it got cushion handle. an hat blue plad, an other white wit black strips. me no know how me go get them but me know if there will there way, or me think that what them talk.

me be learn bout god, bible, jesus, pray, christian, an all stuff. me like it. me friends are very mazing an help me learn. them have talk lot over an over but that how me get it. me have child bible and adult bible, me read story every day out child bible. me like them pics. me no get story bout babel tower. me read story an put asks down an give to friends an me learn lot bout story from them. me learn lot bout hell. me no want no one go hell. make me heart hurt an me eyes cry. so me do lot pray so may be no many go hell.

me went to get adult bible and me fell an cut me up lip open. it no fun. it big an hurt. me feel like fish. lol.

yester me got box from mail. it have card an stuff animal in it. me love both. me name dog chuggers. him small but him cute an soft. me have got two cards an that all. that fine, me no think me get anything. me read them every day. me also got video on facebook an me watch that few times day. them make me happy and feel better. :D

me watch storm chasers an now me watch qvc christmas show. lol. me love christmas. me decide me want lil drummer boy figure for present. me fav song, me no member why. me play drums, maybe that why. me go bed soon.

me feel better me temp is 99.4 an be that way for few day me think. me alway have pain. me head hurt lot. me no sleep good so me alway tire. them took me off most medicine to see how me react an so far me do good!

tomorrow me have pt. may be me say them take me outside some time?!

me need try sleep now, me cold, so me get warm. lol.