Hope dangles on a string like slow spinning redemption winding in and winding out the shine of it has caught my eye and roped me in so mesmerizing, so hypnotizing i am captivated...
i went to be around 1045. i do not know if it was what was secretly on my mind or what but i swear i could have crapped my pants in my sleep. no i was not thinking about crapping, lol. i had another freaking dream. i was in my room doing something and this black guy was over here for some reason. he was not supposed to be in the house but he was. there was screaming and i went to go help and he pulled out a knife and a gun and came after me.....that is when i woke up. i woke up at 1 on the dot, am that is. i was scared. i did not move for the longest time. i thought about crying, but did not. i thought about getting up and going and getting someone, anyone, but did not. i figured since i was in bed, and everyone else was a sleep and would not want to deal with the child part of me, that i would just go back to bed. so i did.
i woke up and watched the news with ash. i am really interested in this presidential debate thing. peopel do not understand that the presidency has been messed up for a long long time, so it does not matter who is in office by the end of their term, most likely they are going to be hated by most of the usa. i watched the express which turned out to be really good. than i did laundry and dishes and filled cadys water jug and i packed some. and then i have been watching dragon ball z. we had dinner which was good. i felt my tum doing a dance. and that has been my day.
i am moving back to st jo. at first it was hard. i did not understand, i thought i had done something wrong, i was scared. than i started to understand it. i had to talk through it. and after a few days it all sstarted to make sense, it all became easier. i started thinking of it like a really long visit, that soon i would be going home. i soon started becoming thankful for everything, EVERYTHING.
the first thing i had done was think about the bad things, and as days passed i started thinking about the things i could look forward to. the adventure that awaits me.
i love ash an stephen a lot. they are two of my heroes. they are amazing. i trust them.
hope. i think it is something that we forget we always have. we spend so much time looking and thinking about the bad things and what will happen if this does not happen, when we should be looking at the good things that are awaiting us. sure we cannot see them but we can be at peace witht he fact that something good is down the road for us.
i talked with bambam and she told me that when i was in the hospital that i did not havve much hope. but my friends gave me hope, they supported me, cheered me on, gave me a reason to have hope to make it thro.
we have our bad days we have our good days, but one thing i have found that helps me is that no matter what type of day it is i try my best to give some hope to anyone that needs it. it always makes me feel better. it helps me not be so stressed, worried, scared, but instead gives me hope, happiness, and most of all a smile.
it is a good habit to get into. we all know someone that could use a lil hope, and tho we feel like it is gone for us, there is no reason that we cannot give hope to someone else.
i want to challenge anyone who has read this blog post. my challenge is that for a whole week, anytime you feel over whelmed with stress, worry, sadness, or anything that drains you of hope, text a friend, call a friend, facebook someone, visit someone, and not just someone, but a someone who is having a hard time, who seems down, who may just need a friend. spend 5-10mins talking with them, or make sure that you are really being there for that person. each day find a new person, and do the same thing, and make sure you follow up with the people from previous days.
it may seem like a lot but seriously it is not. you will be surprised how it changes your spirit, your attitude, your heart. you will find that hope lays in love and you find both those things in the worst part of any storm.
i went to be around 1045. i do not know if it was what was secretly on my mind or what but i swear i could have crapped my pants in my sleep. no i was not thinking about crapping, lol. i had another freaking dream. i was in my room doing something and this black guy was over here for some reason. he was not supposed to be in the house but he was. there was screaming and i went to go help and he pulled out a knife and a gun and came after me.....that is when i woke up. i woke up at 1 on the dot, am that is. i was scared. i did not move for the longest time. i thought about crying, but did not. i thought about getting up and going and getting someone, anyone, but did not. i figured since i was in bed, and everyone else was a sleep and would not want to deal with the child part of me, that i would just go back to bed. so i did.
i woke up and watched the news with ash. i am really interested in this presidential debate thing. peopel do not understand that the presidency has been messed up for a long long time, so it does not matter who is in office by the end of their term, most likely they are going to be hated by most of the usa. i watched the express which turned out to be really good. than i did laundry and dishes and filled cadys water jug and i packed some. and then i have been watching dragon ball z. we had dinner which was good. i felt my tum doing a dance. and that has been my day.
i am moving back to st jo. at first it was hard. i did not understand, i thought i had done something wrong, i was scared. than i started to understand it. i had to talk through it. and after a few days it all sstarted to make sense, it all became easier. i started thinking of it like a really long visit, that soon i would be going home. i soon started becoming thankful for everything, EVERYTHING.
the first thing i had done was think about the bad things, and as days passed i started thinking about the things i could look forward to. the adventure that awaits me.
i love ash an stephen a lot. they are two of my heroes. they are amazing. i trust them.
hope. i think it is something that we forget we always have. we spend so much time looking and thinking about the bad things and what will happen if this does not happen, when we should be looking at the good things that are awaiting us. sure we cannot see them but we can be at peace witht he fact that something good is down the road for us.
i talked with bambam and she told me that when i was in the hospital that i did not havve much hope. but my friends gave me hope, they supported me, cheered me on, gave me a reason to have hope to make it thro.
we have our bad days we have our good days, but one thing i have found that helps me is that no matter what type of day it is i try my best to give some hope to anyone that needs it. it always makes me feel better. it helps me not be so stressed, worried, scared, but instead gives me hope, happiness, and most of all a smile.
it is a good habit to get into. we all know someone that could use a lil hope, and tho we feel like it is gone for us, there is no reason that we cannot give hope to someone else.
i want to challenge anyone who has read this blog post. my challenge is that for a whole week, anytime you feel over whelmed with stress, worry, sadness, or anything that drains you of hope, text a friend, call a friend, facebook someone, visit someone, and not just someone, but a someone who is having a hard time, who seems down, who may just need a friend. spend 5-10mins talking with them, or make sure that you are really being there for that person. each day find a new person, and do the same thing, and make sure you follow up with the people from previous days.
it may seem like a lot but seriously it is not. you will be surprised how it changes your spirit, your attitude, your heart. you will find that hope lays in love and you find both those things in the worst part of any storm.
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