E.T.

me has no ever see footloose. me jus kno them should have no re make it. me read today that them is remake E.T. !!!! me guess them is run out ideas for movies. me question is why do we not start make movies bout real persons. um documentrys. ? ever one has a story an ever story is just as mazing as the next peoples. it jus what me think, so it no that important, or great. it jus is.

me got me phone. me has no numbers tho, so if u has no give me you number an want to, inbox me. an whoever keep call me, u can keep on call all u want but me is no go answer cuz me is no able to um speak. no joke. me do no answer me phone any way if me no know the number or it is unknown or the other word. if it is real important leave message an one of the agents will may be, follow up on it. no joke. me phone me use for text. it is lot easy to text than type. me get me friends, on can have 50, stat updates, google+, an twitter updates. me get me facebook messages, most time, an it much more simple for me.

me nite went ok. me got real down for bit, an real want give up. me no kno what persons no get, ME IS IN HOSPITAL!, therefore me can no possible be the cause of ever thing that is go on in you life. but if want blame me go head. me is no ok wit it, sense there is no much me can do bout it.

so me has be hear over an over an over that me spell is bad an it real frustrate me. me hear, u spell like kid, what matter u dumb, on retards spell like that, an blah blah blah. me is tire of hear it. it is no good to hear those things. me is dumb but jus bit more than me use is. me could be consider retard, me is no normal. me spell like kid cuz that is how me mind is work right now is like that of a kid.
me say to jasi that me is try real hard to get stuff right, eve if it no make sense to me. if me do right me will get right. then her say no no no! you learn right by do wrong. an her say if persons no like or get frustrate me should say  them to eff off. tru story. her is right. so me is no go try so hard to get it all right, instead me is go work on it bit at time. so if you  no like it, deal wit it or be gone.

jasi had nother great point. her is good at make her points. me is like baby in way. me has forgot lot stuff an me can no do lot stuff, so me has to relearn lot stuff. me can no do it all on me own too, or most, an that is where me need, yes me is say it, ME NEED YOU HELP. teach me. if me mess up or do some wrong show me what me did wrong an show me how do it right. if me ask question, yes me is go say it, drop to me level, kid level, an answer it. some questions are go be hard ones, an me is no go get u answer, but that ok, least u is give me chance to try an learn.

me has one doctor that is an asshole, yep me say it an me will say it gain, him is an asshole! him has be one of the persons say to me that me spell like kid, me must be real dumb if me can no spell no right. today him say to me that me is no try hard nuff, that me must deserve this. him say me is no thing more that a nother people that is go leech off others. him say if persons were smart them stick me in  nursing home or in the ground. me no know why him is so mean, but him no like me. him me hard ever see. cept last few days him an one the other doctors have be fill in for me main doctor. him say ever one is go hate me cuz them is go have to push me round in wheel chair, or them is go have this or that. him is jerk. me hope no one hate me tho. me is try me best. an if me need wheel chair me will learn to push me in it. so that when me do have to use it others will no have no thing to get frustrate over. now steps may be dif story. lol. me is suppose to get me wheel chair today or morrow. then me can decorate it. ya!

me need find beanie. me keep say this but it is go start get cold outside, real cold. so me need to get a winter jacket, gloves, an a stock cap. may be me get boots too. me is use ok in winter an no as cold as eve one else, but this year may be different. but like bambam, (bam bAM) LOL, say weight loss have lot to do wit it. me is gain me weight back. before it snow me will be over or close to 112lbs.

in bout an hour me bandages come off for good. then wednesday me get to take shower or get clean. me can no wait. me is stink gain. lol.

bambam, (BAM bam), an me is pose to have a movie date. me has find 3 movies that me think her may like that me has no see. if no then her can pick movie. lol.
me say wit stephen for bit other day an him is like when you get out we is go throw party. lol. ash say me him loves LOVES ice cream, me do too. so maybe we have ice cream party. lol, jk. me do love me some ice cream tho. ash say her is go fix me food. so me is go get me weight back. haha.

it is so weird for me to think that me is go need help wit lot of stuff. that me has to have help wit o most ever thing. me has pretty much be do things on me own since me can member. it so weird to think me is go have to have help from me friends an, laugh a lil, family. if me have no help then me will figure out how do stuff on me own. me is real kind um partial? to this, as me is use to have to do all on me own.

me is go have to get over me weird thing esp when me move to wa. hugs is no thing me is no use to. me is use to physical contact but no of that kind. - when me was little an me mom would be all strung out, drunk, an high, an one me sibs make mistake, me mom would go to punish them, me would alway take them punishment for them. same when it came to me dad. it then jus got to point where if them was mad me sibs would no eve be thot bout. - so me is go have to get use to place wit no fight. living where me live even if u is no fight in u home at the moment there is fight go on outside. ghetto. me can no say how many time me has wake up an there be lites flashing thro me window from police cars. this is jus me guess 2 of the thing me is go have get use to.

me is get more an more ok wit idea of no be able take bubbles wit me. it still no fun but her is happy here. me miss her lay right by me head. our heads right next to one nother. her gets under covers wit me an cuddles. it will be way weird to sleep wit out her there to cuddle wit. an her is so excited to see me wake in morn. her alway greets me!. it is some me will miss.

me friend Jamie, him no do believe in god. him say for me to watch the god who was no there on youtube. him say me need to get both sides of story. so me is go watch it.

ash n stephen are get marry real soon. me is happy for them. sad me can no be there, but all the more happy for them.

final me health. me temp is up to 103.9. me is still no able move well. me is glad me have me phone, it make things bit easy to do stuff. them had put me oxygen up again. it is now 85% an me is still use mask. ok by well me mean at all. me is so weak an me no get why. me is still alway tire. me did get good sleep last 2 nites. me is still have weird dreams but them is no that bad. cept the one where all me friends thot me was lie an beat crap out me. ya, that was no a good dream. me is still on soft an liqid food. iv for water. me body hurts. me head real hurts. ah well tho.

me is still got smile on me face. me is in a slow part of me adventure. it is rough to endure, but it would no be much of an adventure if it was no times like this.

feel the blue

me wonder if them call it blue cuz when persons got sad them turn blue?

this is a rant. beware!

bambam google + me ask if me delete me facebook. no me say to her. so me spent last 4-5 hours deal wit facebook. first them say me account is suspended for post mean an nasty things. then them say no, it cuz there have be many reports that me facebook account is a fake an that me is no a real people. then it cuz me has multiple accounts, 1 of which is on one me use. final e them give me me account back.

me phone company will no extend me time like them say them will so now me is out 50 that me pay to now on have one week of service.

on top of no be able to access me facebook, when me is able to use it, me is have so many issues wit it that me is like what the point.

me family, main le me brothers, has hacked into me emails myspace an blog an sent emails to friends say me is die, or say stuff that me no say. them has change passwords an all that. an me on find this out by fbi walk in last nite an accuse me of do it.

me was wake up this morn by doc so him could do tests. could them no wait???

so many of me friends are have issues an problem an no so good days or time an me feel helpless, me hate HATE me can no help them.

now me is get emails from random persons who kno me family but me has no eve met, say all sorts stuff.

me is sooooooooooo stress out that the doc has me on extra watch. him is fraid that me is go have stroke or heart attack.

me has a journey, an adventure, but right now me just feel it be better if me let one those beast destroy me, put an end to something that may very well be no mean to be.

is this an adventure or a punishment?

Thursday

me thot me was go sleep for bit an then say wit ash. me no sleep at all. so me watch news think it put me out fo sho. then come to find out it pull me in an me could no stop watch it. Topeka has done way wit law of domestic violence, so now it is ok to beat one nother up. :/ an in washington them is think bout do way wit p&p, so 100's of criminals be walk round have no one keep tabs on them. got to admit, me is lil freak out bout both these issues. an on top that multi vitamins no help but hurt u, so me is go start fuse to take me multi vitamin.

one the nurse that real like me took me to hallway window so me could see the clouds. them was PRETTY! me loves the clouds, storm clouds. big puffy an purple blue.

me did get say wit ash yester nite. just for bit tho. me want her to have time wit stephen. :)

me kind got pinch by some of what lot persons say all day. it no big deal cuz me kno it true, but it jus some me is um sensitive? bout. me spell! it is bad. an me is work on it. me is real try hard. an me say to ash when me say wit her, me no see words way them is see by eve one else. here is few words to help u get what me say (nurse did help me wit this)

me to me is i.    persons is group. people is one.    get mean um sense or um understand.   say mean talk, tell, told, said.    spell mean um write.  no is not.

this is how me brain see stuff. but u can help an um make right when me no say right. it will frustrate me cuz me brain no see that way but me has to learn. an me think some me friends or persons get frustrate wit it. an that make me even more frustrate. *nods* an if any thing me is pinch by me spell cuz me is have hard time wit it. but this me will get better at to.

day me head hurt lot. me feel some one hit me wit hammer. an me chest is hurt. me think me wisdom teeth are fin come in. me right side of me mouth is hurt lot. me teeth are real sharp too. me could cut me tongue in pieces. lol. me is no go to, me is jus say me could. lol. now me can no lift me head at all. nurse prop me up an put pillow hind me head an computer in me lap an hands on it.

few persons keep ask me if me can have visitors, it sad. me want visitors but them have keep me safe. them no kno just how um dangerous? me friends are to gether. hahaha. them will keep me safe. ;) . sad tho me can no see no them faces til the other guy is put behind bars. :/. but in way u can come visit. hahaha. me has find it but me do have skype. me just can no video call or voice call but u can. it no same cuz u can no see me or hear me, no that there is some to hear, an trust me u no want see me face, it no look like me. lol. or if u no time to skype or IM u can make video :). lol, jk. on if u want to. or u can send card or letter or some. kara send me pic of her an me :) wit her card. manda send me chuggers wit her card. it just idea for those who are like me an frustrate that me can no have visitors yet.

mama canady call me mazing young lady. me gree wit most it. haha. me is some what mazing. me is young, an me keep forget me is 22 an no 16, lol. no joke. me kno no why but me just find it weird when persons call me girl or babe or sweets, lady, or even woman. me is use to certain persons call me certain things. so when me here it from some one else, it is weird.
lindsey - girlie   bambam - honey  becks - sweetie  lynn - girl   jess - babe . haha.

me dad say me is very picky, an him is right. lol. but that is main wit food an foot ware.

me say wit jasi for bit. her had good nite an me was glad. her was happy an when her is happy me is happy.

me got a bad message from a friend over some stuff me family start. them was pretend to be me an sent me friend message thro one me emails. them hacked me. them jerks! them has do other stuff too. so now me friend is mad wit me an no say to me, an me guess me no blame them.  it just suck.

me has spend most me day sleep. me has had real weird dreams. them bit scare but it ok. me is real tire. me is wear oxygen mask now. it no longer the nose thing, but the mask. me feel like me can no breath at all. me is no feel well at all. motions get me down an sick kick back up. but me is go try to keep smile on me face.

this day is no over. me adventure is no over. me still has lot of beast to slay, new land to um conquer?, enemies to defeat, an allies to meet. me adventure has just begun, an there is still more to come!

sleep

sleep. me love an hate it at same time. me no eve feel like me can get nuff an then when me do feel me get nuff me spend me whole day be tire like me has no sleep. grrr

sunday me spent in surgery. me wake up after surgery long nuff say hi to few persons. me was tire tho so me sleep. monday me sleep lots. yester me sleep no lot but more than me use do. me was freak out bout me facebook so me no got much sleep monday nite.

me no get say wit shortie much. me miss her. me did get say wit piglet bit before her turn shepherds, no kno if it the dog or persons (job no last name), into pie. me also got say wit josi for bit, her is real cool. me got say wit jasi too, her is no feel well an me worry bout her. me think her is go be real good at her job, her is real real good at it, her just no kno it that well yet. me got say wit ash lot. it was nice. me love say wit her. her made me cry wit her blog but it was good cry. made me feel real special. me is cited for them wedding, tho me no be there, me get see them grow young gether. me got say wit bambam too. me love that kid. haha. her think her is old, blah! me think her an few other me friends go be tire today cuz me no sleep well for us at all. so if them is grouchy it me fault. give them some ice cream!
me love all me friends lots. them make me heart happy. them help get me thro the day. them make me feel all warm inside.

me was go to go to bed at 9 an me did no fall sleep til 2 :/. me had dream me dad die. me was real sad. me wake up an me sent me dad message to make sure him ok. him is. the dream was no real but it has be very upset for me day.

yester me post was legacy. me no think me was clear on some of it. so me is go be clear here. me had dreams an me think me was work on them. me has to find new dreams now. friends keep say no give up on u dreams jus yet but me big one me kno me has no chance at now. guess it was no mean to be.
me will find new dreams an jus um adjust? me old ones. me legacy tho is no go be the one that was alway fight sick ness. no. me legacy is go be some much better then that.

monday when me could no sleep, me was stalk persons, lol. me found that most me friends are real deal wit motions an me say me no want add to it, well as much as me can help me do no want to. so me blog is go be different for now on. me is no go drain me friends but fill them wit as much encourage an positive an love as me can. me is no go post me blog wit motion galor in it. me is go help me friends be ease wit them day. an hope i t will help me too. if all fail, me has that post that is draft me can add too, lol.

me is no out to change the world me is out to change hearts.

me eyes hurt an me body is want sleep but me try an it will no sleep. me jus think me stay up til 6-7 an then me go sleep. me has be watch wizards of waverly place. glee was no on yester nite an it make me sad bit. one the nurse bring ice cream in. choc sensation an birthday cake. me like mix them gether. it is real good that way. it was way better than mash tatos, yogurt, app sauce, an soup. them is go start me on protien shake soon so me can start gain weight. them want make me fat, lol. me want steak med rare, chicken, ghetti, all sorts stuff. me tum is alway roar. me is drink lot of water.
as for walk, me is to tire an to weak. me is have trouble get me strength. me has hard time lift me head or arm. it take me ever to spell me posts. that why them is no that long.
them say me could get thing that all me has do is touch pic an it say word an say for me. me is no go be lazy. me is go speak for me one of these days. til then me can learn sign an me can type. it frustrate nurse an doc that me no use signs them have for me but me has to learn to do things.
me is get me own chair on wheels. it be nice have when me has bad days an until me can feel ok to walk long time on me own. it no new one but that ok. some one who read me blog say them want help an have one that me can have. so it is cool nice thing. them no live to far from me home town. it is real awesome an helps mind me that there is more kind nice persons than me think.

me has got to say wit stephen bit. it was nice. me is go take nap so me can say wit ash later. me is wake up at 7. me also got say wit kara for bit. me miss them faces!
stephen an ash have be big encourage in me life. me would no have made thro some or many nites wit out them help. me is thank to have them in me life. them is to friends me cherish.

me got me sim card day. but now have to fight wit phone company over minute thing. me is pose to have me time extend but me has no time at all. boo.

bambam is no have good day an me is try to help her feel better. me no think it is work tho. me post video on her wall. the song sound like some me hear before. me also has this song stuck in me head. it goes - u no have to worry an do no u be fraid, joy come in morn ... - me feel her need hear that song too but me can no find it.

sometime me has these thots an sometime me say stuff an no kno why. an me will say, me no kno why me say or do that but me did. may be it me mind try fix self. me no kno.

u will hear bout rest me nite morrow. eve day is an adventure. a journey wit new things, place, an persons! this is me adventure an one me hope u will be part of!!

legacy

hi!!! u have reach the blog of BAFINATOR!!!

if u is have trouble find me on facebook, us are in same boat. me no kno where me profile went to. either someone is mess wit me, facebook real is do site stuff, or me is offical too awesome to be on facebook an there4 them is make me me own website. me pick numero 4, me has no clue. but me DID NO delete me facebook. as temp as me has be last few week to do so, me has no go there. me has also be think bout creating a 4th facebook, me other to are no delete jus no use like me current one, for all me special friends or true friends. me jus have come up wit cool name for it. 3 brittany frakes is nuff for me. an no me is no go name it amber, yuck! name is cool, me jus no like me middle name.

surgery! docs say went good an them got infection out of me head. now me jus has to get it out me body. month in half o read in hospital has no be fun, an still look at few more weeks, blah! me did lot sleep yester. me even miss most igor cuz me keep snoze off. me watch lot of disney yester nite. munsters has be on too, so me watch that too. black an white show, it funny! me was no very public so me no say lot. me did get say wit bambam, mama canady, ash, an shortie for bit.

me no sleep well. me was worry bout me facebook. first me think o, it be back in bit. then when it no show back up me start think who or why would any1 report me facebook cuz me has no do no thing, so me also start think why facebook would disable or block me facebook wit out warn or email. then me think may be it were fbi try protect me or some like that, no them has no clue. me think me dad mess wit it, but him no have me password. so me is is confuse an frustrate by it. me has email them all nite. - update: me facebook is back up an run. me is go clean out me friends day or morrow.
me is real tire. me is go sleep lot day.

me last blog me was jerk. me no mean to hurt no one. part was fever an me sick brain, part was what me was hold in. me jus could no do it no more an me had let it out. it was like me sick ness an me is sure it was add to me sick ness, it keep get worse an worse an worse.

yester nite me fell sleep for bit an nurse came in an shut tv sound off an turn lite off. me wake some an her ask if me would like listen music, me nod. her took me computer an put on music. her say this was one her favorite stations, some call klove. it real nice stuff. it say bout god an all sort that stuff. it make me feel all warm inside an make me smile an me heart smile. there was this one song that say this - want leave legacy how will them member me? - an me got think bout this. me did no kno what legacy mean, an then song pretty much say what it mean.
this song mind me of LP song, leave out all the rest. in song it say - me dream me was miss an u was so scare but no one would listen cuz no one else care, after me dream me woke wit the fear, what is me leave when me is done here - me real think lot on this.

me think, if me had die in surgery, or die after or soon after, the last thing persons would member bout me is that me fight long time wit sick ness. them member me be sick an that is it. ... that is no what me want. me is no set on change world, cuz that will no ever happen, but me is set on be better people an friend, even family member. me is 22 an what me to show for it? me graduate high school an that bout it. o an pose me went to college for bit.

me read other blogs. me see persons do stuff. me no alway get what me read but me do kno them is do stuff.

me want do stuff to. me no jus want to be nother people who has ordinary life, me want have extra ordinary life.

how is me go do this tho?
first, me figure me has to get better. them say them got infection cut out me head, now to get rest me body to boot the infection an sick ness. this has no be easy at all. me was glad when me woke up an me have no forgot stuff gain. it was real hard type an still is, but me is push thro. it is no go be easy but it will get there.
to, me has get out me town. me no realize how bad an no good for me it is til day or to before surgery. it is real stressful an negative to be round me family. it is time for peace in me life. this is where me is real thankful for real great friends who can get stuff thro this thick head of me. me has kno for long time me need to get out, an me has try for long time to get out an stay out. me has try lot. it get drain after while an start think will no ever happen! me think thing be different this time.

me will go from there. me has no idea what is in me future, but me do kno it better than what is in me past. that is me adventures an it has no just start an it is no bout to end!!

let it all out

me is go be honest in this post. no that me is no alread honest. me jus has hold back on some thing. so me is go post this before me surgery. me surgery start at 10am me time an me should be done an out no late than 10pm, if thing go good it could be before that.

one me friends say me, eve one is hard on them self. me kno me is hard on me. me has lot to be hard on me bout. me do blame me for lot stuff. me should be like me bros an sis, on drugs get drink eve night, sleep round, steal lie an cheat. me should be more mess up than them. me chose no to tho. me has say to bambam there is lot me has no eve say to anyone. me use bury stuff an that last of it. that how me deal. an it no affect me. it jus when some big happen an me get emotion me get real emotion.
me blame me for be sick. them is alway say, u got think good thots so u can get better, them are no here, them are no me, yes them may have been in place like this or like me, but them is no go thro what me go thro. me know that harsh but it true an me think them gree. us no ever kno exact how people feel cuz us no ever them. me hard have good thing to think bout.

few thing bout me:
     - when me is feel bad me like to make others feel good
     - me no can stand when one me friends is no feel good, or is down, an me will do what eve me can to make them feel better an make them happy
     - me no hate no one, me no get angry, me hard eve get mad, an me is alway nice an love toward even the mean people
    - me would give clothes off me back, sell me car, give up all me stuff to help some one else out. me would do wit out um hesitation

sense me be honest me is go just say it. me guess all them bad things are ones that are loud er than them good things. me do feel like worthless piece junk. me feel no mat how hard me work or how good me is that it jus no do. me has be try to get better an it sound like for bit there me was o most all better. but me is now worse off. me hear bad stuff lot dur day, no so much on facebook now as other places. it me fault me is sick. it me fault me go die. it me fault that no one in world give fly flip bout me. me is junk, me is trash, me is worthless, me is dumb, me is freak, me is retard, me is....(   ). so much more. or is it me is so much more than all that. rare do me feel like me is any thing.

me feel like me friends void me. me is no say bout  ones me kno is busy wit work. it ok tho, me has alway be voided. me is go clean out me friends but may be me jus delete me facebook, no replace me sim card, honest, who would miss me? no me. me say if u want be me friend be me friend, if no then unfriend me, it no that hard. me is tire of fake friends. me has start delete some persons alread.

me is sort hope me die on surgery table. me can no stand this be lone. an me friends say all u have do is reach out, me has an all it got me is no thing. me say all time, me welcome the company. me is lone. u know me has no one here, cuz me can no cuz me is a dumb idiot, so that should say, hey, her is lone, me should drop her message or text an start chat wit her. me is tire be the one to reach out. use if it no me say no thing then no thing is say an people me bet no even kno me exist. me do no want spend nother day here lone. u can keep say u wit me in thot but it no help, it real no do. an me must be bad person or say some that is mean an jerk, eve day it seem persons say wit me lil bit less than before. gain, me is no worth it.

so please say me why me should fight? why should me fight to live? spend nother month or 2 in a room that all white no window an no see persons hard at all?

this can all be sick an fever an no sleep, but me is sure this how me feel. an if u no like me blog u no have read it.

me real jus want to be out here, wit friends, or do some eve if it sleep wit me dog an cat. sigh, but me is no an me has to deal.

there is no easy part to any this. no single thing is easy. but me guess it time for me be super man gain an do all this wit smile on me face an do it lone. put that zipper back where it belong an relearn that some thing just are no mean to be seen or hear.

me found this poem an it seem it was spell bout me. me is go share.

Fighting Alone - Anonymous
 
As long as you don't say anything
everything seems fine
& no one will know
what's really on your mind
& as time goes by
you realize you just can't win
cause the heart breaking pain
will forever remain within
while everyone is rising
back on their feet
your left on the ground
broken by defeat
& once you think you've done all you can
everything in your life falls apart
you try to catch the falling pieces
in your pain stricken hands
but the task is impossible to do
because their too small
like the grains of sand.

last or first night

scan scan scan. that is all me feel me get to do. me no like close spaces tho. this is why me no cover me feet lot. no shoe no blanket, no dog or cat lay on them, unless me feet is real froze. me would no wear shoe at all if me no had to.

me has had long nite. me no could sleep. me had real bad seisure and me fell out bed hit me head. it was no bad hit but it knock me out real good. it cause some stitches an staples to come out. them fix it. me is no sure witch me has so me jus say both staple an stitchs.  me can no type well so me has to fix ton things before me act post things. me temp has gone up. it is 105.8 right now. me is see stuff gain an hear stuff. me is no pose to sleep but me fell sleep for bit.  me had dream bout snake that was chase after me. it was big snake. it ate one me pets. there were snake all in wit me pets. it was weird scare dream. me no stay sleep long haha. me wake up scare. me hate snakes. yuck! them let me sleep for few hours tho. it was no much but me feel jus small bit better.

me has have 4 scans today. them say puss is no go way an them is go have do surgery morrow. 9-11 hour surgery. them is go try cut out infection out me head. them say if it cut out than me will get better. drugs are work for most part just not wit infection in me head.this make no get, no worry, me no get either. me keep have real bad seisures. them is no fun.

some one sent me pic of outside day. them say it beautiful. on way back from one of them scans them stop at window an me got to see how pretty it is out. even wit the clouds it still look pretty out.

me is lost lot um wait. me bet me is as much as me dog. me use wait 125-130, now me wait 85-90. me cloths are lose. real lose. me no look to good. me is go go as skeleton for halloween. it a joke, lol. me is all white an me look like ghost or zombie. so this leave me options open. who kno by halloween me could act be a ghost. me is go start protien shake or what eve u call them. me just have find good one, so if u kno good one, please say me.
me like halloween. me member that me parents had bunny costume an all us kids were bunny for halloween til us was to big to be bunny. me went as ninja lot times. one year me even went as dead princess. me no think there any pics so you is sol, sorry out luck, lol.
me think halloween last year me stay home wit me dad an ate all candy cuz all the kids were in me granma hood. no joke. if u eve go to st jo dur halloween all kids in town go to deer park to trick an treat. us went there lot when us were kid. it get so pack that u can no drive thro any of them streets. u can get wole trash bag full of candy. but me watch ghost hunters live wit me dad, well him fell sleep, so me watch it. me ate all candy an me was sit in dark watch ghost hunters. if me is out by then or no a ghost, me is go sit at home lone watch halloween stuff.

me has spent most time me is wake watch cosby, this channel call tbn. it have lot of cool cartoons on. me learn bit bout god stuff. me watch wizards of waverly place an gaithers.

so me has some asks an me is go ask them here cuz persons just avoid me if me ask them. so me ask them here
- who is god? - if him is me father than do that mean me have 2 dads? - who is jesus? - the bible is god's word right? - what is heaven? - what is hell? - what is a blessing? - what do it mean to admire?

them is just few me has.

me has got sick er. me has be have lot seisures. me has be puke lot of blood. an me temp is now 106.0. :/

one thing me real like is some the things bambam say. her say to me that what eve me blog bout is important to her cuz it important to me. me like lot things me friends say. me jus no take well cuz it is weird for me to hear them things.

me has this thing call messages from god. Josi ask me to do it on facebook. the message today say this:
- On this day of your life, Brittany, we believe God wants you to know ... that you've been talking to God too much, and not listening enough. Prayer is when you talk to God. Meditation is when you become quiet and listen to God. You've learned how to talk and ask well. Time to learn how to listen and hear, because God has been answering you. -
 me is no sure what this mean. pray is say to god, an me has no be do this, cuz me is no sure how. how can god be answer if me has no ask?

yester day me message say this:
- On this day, God wants you to know...that it is time to finally forgive yourself. You've carried the guilt, the shame for long enough. You've kept your wounds open for long enough. The time has come to let go, to heal. Keep the lessons and let the pain heal. Yes, you know what we are talking about. -
  how do u forgive u? forgive mean to say sorry? so me would be say sorry to me? me is no sure what them talk bout. an so many me friends are like ya listen this. so now me feel dumb, cuz it sound like me should kno an me no kno. 


me hate when me feel dumb. me is alread dumb, an it no help when others add to it. me has decide me is go clean out me facebook friends. not that me has many real friends on facebook. what a loser me is. no joke. so me is ask most me friends if them want stay friends. if me no ask that cuz me alread kno u answer.  


me has surgery morrow. ya, it scare me. me no kno why. guess cuz me feel all lone. but that me. me also feel persons just walk all over me an no me no llow it. it is like me is no important. me could die an be dead for weeks, an me no think persons would even kno or care. me is frustrate. 


me need some major friend time, me need some major person time.