today i went to my home here on earth. josi had asked for prayer for this little boy, an i said i would pray. that little boy died today, an as josi said he went to his um heavenly home today.
i had a hard time sleeping last night. i woke up at 6 after going to bed at 12, 2, 4, thinking it was 7-8ish. i was wrong. then i went back to sleep an woke at 9 thinking it was 12, and from then i was up for good. i have been so nervous about coming home. i am still so nervous.
we left at 130. i kept falling asleep only to be woke by pot holes an their constant raising of voices. you would think that they would be more respectful. i think i was also getting car sick, or motion sick. i felt like puking all the time. i have had no pain meds for more than a day. we stopped two hours in to get gas, an i had to go potty, so that took about 30 mins. not because of me, they had to smoke an also go potty. about 1 1/2 hours later we reached kcks an i was glad to be somewhere familiar. not soon after i was in st. jo. and then home. they brought my stuff in an then left, after checking the place.
the dogs were happy to see me, it took me 8 mins to get them to stop jumping all over me. my dad had made din an all i had to do was heat it up. stew an biscuts. he is asleep in the chair right now an at 945 he will be leaving for work, than it will be me an the dogs, an cats.
i have been working on slowly clearing my floor, an bed. i think my room needs to be rearranged, but that i will do when i have help.
my aunt came by an brought me her laundry to do, nothing big, and it will make me some money.
i have let the dogs out an back in, an will do so again soon. then i think i will fix hot chocolate, or hot tea.
walking around is hard, well hell, doing anything is hard, way harder than it was being in the hospital. i have no one doing things for me, or helping me, it is just me. an my dad sure did not make anything easier, "there is to be no talking about you an your situation between anyone here." meaning me an my family, or in their presence.
back to walking. i am doing most without the cane. it is not easy but there is usually something i can grab onto if needed. my legs are strong, an when i do walk i can walk normal it is just after a few steps i feel like my legs are going to break, or i forget what i need to do next, as in taking anther step.
i am nervous. my first night really being alone, an it scares me a bit. seeing my friends scares me a bit too. just because i feel like a little kid. haha.
any ways. i think monday or tuesday i will see if i can find someone to take me to thrift stores. i think i really do need to find a wheel chair. i do not trust myself enough to drive, or walk any more than a few steps at a time.
it is cold in here. my feet are frozen. i cannot find any of my socks. i think my brothers ate them, no joke. lol. so there is one thing to add to the list of things to get next time i go to the store. i also need to get gummy vitamins. an it looks like shampoo an conditioner. my brothers are such selfish jerks. ah well.
finaly i got two cards , both from the canady's. one was a pig. haha. an then i got a samari hat. now i do not need a winter hat, it will keep me nice an warm. :) it is awesome.
a new chapter to this adventure has begun. and i am ready to face it head on.
i had a hard time sleeping last night. i woke up at 6 after going to bed at 12, 2, 4, thinking it was 7-8ish. i was wrong. then i went back to sleep an woke at 9 thinking it was 12, and from then i was up for good. i have been so nervous about coming home. i am still so nervous.
we left at 130. i kept falling asleep only to be woke by pot holes an their constant raising of voices. you would think that they would be more respectful. i think i was also getting car sick, or motion sick. i felt like puking all the time. i have had no pain meds for more than a day. we stopped two hours in to get gas, an i had to go potty, so that took about 30 mins. not because of me, they had to smoke an also go potty. about 1 1/2 hours later we reached kcks an i was glad to be somewhere familiar. not soon after i was in st. jo. and then home. they brought my stuff in an then left, after checking the place.
the dogs were happy to see me, it took me 8 mins to get them to stop jumping all over me. my dad had made din an all i had to do was heat it up. stew an biscuts. he is asleep in the chair right now an at 945 he will be leaving for work, than it will be me an the dogs, an cats.
i have been working on slowly clearing my floor, an bed. i think my room needs to be rearranged, but that i will do when i have help.
my aunt came by an brought me her laundry to do, nothing big, and it will make me some money.
i have let the dogs out an back in, an will do so again soon. then i think i will fix hot chocolate, or hot tea.
walking around is hard, well hell, doing anything is hard, way harder than it was being in the hospital. i have no one doing things for me, or helping me, it is just me. an my dad sure did not make anything easier, "there is to be no talking about you an your situation between anyone here." meaning me an my family, or in their presence.
back to walking. i am doing most without the cane. it is not easy but there is usually something i can grab onto if needed. my legs are strong, an when i do walk i can walk normal it is just after a few steps i feel like my legs are going to break, or i forget what i need to do next, as in taking anther step.
i am nervous. my first night really being alone, an it scares me a bit. seeing my friends scares me a bit too. just because i feel like a little kid. haha.
any ways. i think monday or tuesday i will see if i can find someone to take me to thrift stores. i think i really do need to find a wheel chair. i do not trust myself enough to drive, or walk any more than a few steps at a time.
it is cold in here. my feet are frozen. i cannot find any of my socks. i think my brothers ate them, no joke. lol. so there is one thing to add to the list of things to get next time i go to the store. i also need to get gummy vitamins. an it looks like shampoo an conditioner. my brothers are such selfish jerks. ah well.
finaly i got two cards , both from the canady's. one was a pig. haha. an then i got a samari hat. now i do not need a winter hat, it will keep me nice an warm. :) it is awesome.
a new chapter to this adventure has begun. and i am ready to face it head on.
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