that is right, today was the last session of pt. it has come an gone. 6 hours. the last hour was spent like this. my therapist took me back to my room an sat there an typed out a pt exercise thingy on my laptop. it was cool. he sat there an watched some disney with me while he was typing. so i have a list of pt exercises on my computer. he did this for me, n for the people who asked me to get one. so if anyone wants a copy, let me know. i am sure there is something on there tht you can help me with, lol.
i slept really good last night. i even got to sleep in. i think that they had tried waking me up an i would not budge. lol. i did not go to pt til 11. yep. i had pt til 6, so he also ate din with me.
tomorrow i go home. it is so weird. why? because i cannot remember what it is like to be outside these walls. i am not sure i remember what my house looks like. it will be weird not having all this stuff, machines an such, an people, nurses lpns techs therapist guards, coming an going all through out the day an night, helping me, supporting me.
i sent a lot of my stuff home today. i just hope i can find it tomorrow. i wish i could take a few of these blankets home. they are pretty amazing!
tomorrow holds a lot for me. it scares me an excites me at the same time. it excites me because i will finally be free to call people an get calls, skype, travel, an so much more. it scares me because tomorrow i have to start doing a lot of things, hard things on my own.
this is when spoons will really be treated the way they are meant to be, cuz no longer will i have the resources to use spoons like nothing. tomorrow i will probably have10-15 spoons. this is how they will probably be used :
waking up, sitting up, getting out of bed, eating, going to the bathroom, showering, getting ready, packing what is left, saying good bye, going from room to my ride home, traveling, greeting the dogs, making my bed fit to sleep, washing dishes, making dinner, unpacking, letting the dogs out, going to the bathroom, then going to bed.
i am not sure if that is 15 but that is my day. i may get to drop a few from the list, but i may have to add some too. an choosing wht to do could mean either i miss a meal, the dogs do not get to go potty, or i sleep in the chair.
monday my brother alan is leaving the house to live somewhere else for a bit. both my brothers are gone for the weekend, as my sister told me, when she sent me a message telling me she left me a dvd player. i have no clue what that is. i asked her an she thinks i am being an idiot. or so she called me one.
so there will be no one at my house. i am trying to see if a friend is going to come over, an if not then i am going to block an lock my door until my dad gets home from work. also it means that i have to figure out food an other things for myself. my dad said he has turkey in the freezer but that i cannot touch it. but there is sandwhich stuff in the fridge. so i may be eating balone-knee for a while. or until i can get enough spoons saved to actually cook myself. wait i am not going to cook myself, i am going to cook food.
i do not have the energy to travel somewhere else for the night. tho i am really excited to start seeing people an fresh faces.
i have had the joy of wearing socks around the hospital, but sadly i have to give them back. i have flip flops which are easy to put on an off, but i have a feeling i may need to do some shopping before mid dec.
last night, most of what is in this blog, plus more just really got to me. i know i am not supposed to be strong all the time, an nor down all the time, but when i get really really down, people act as if i have no reason to be, an tell me, basically, to get over it. the canady's were awesome tho. they stepped in an protected me. in a way, lol. the best thing that made me cry from laughing so hard, was mama canady dancing. it was not that it was funny, it was funny, but it was because she danced, just for me. it was great. one day i will dance with her, an then bambam can laugh all she wants, but she will soon realize that she needs to dance with us too. lol, no joke. or something like that. haha.
bambam made me cry too. she is one of the sweetest, kindest, big hearted people i know. she cares so much an loves even more. i cannot wait to be part of the family, no joke. one thing tho, that i am not sure about, is the limp noodle thing. i think she told me she is go to hit me with spaghetti, which is weird.
i have support. i have friends. i have family.. i have protectors. i am becoming ok with not being strong, with not being able to support an protect myself. an when i am strong an can, i am ok having those days where i just cannot. if that is getable.
piglet is awesome. just say. her mom in law is now my friend on facebook. her name is um debbie? she said she is go help me with pt, an she is have me for breakfast. i do not think she is go eat me, i think she is go feed me! yay!
piglet has be answer lot of my asks. no joke. an when i ask some, i ask tough stuff. lol. she tried explain what church, christian, bird, an some other stuff is to me.
i ask other people hard questions too. sometimes it is a question ihave already ask them but do not remember doing so. ash was ask me if i member month or two ago, an i said i do not.
it has been 3 months that i have been here. and i am told tht since july i have been more in the hospital than out of it.
so this god thing. i like the ideas of the god of the bible...well i am saying i do, cuz for some reason i do, even tho i cannot remember that reason. lol. i do not mind people talk about god. i want to learn, i need to learn. i have been invited to church, not sure if i can go. i would like to go see what a church is, what happens in church.
tomorrow will be here sooner than i think. i am overwhelmed by emotions of all sorts. i hve rapid heart beat an murmurs, n my heart is racing. it am weak tho my body almost looks like its normal self i think. but i am strong willed. finally time i admitted it. my main concern should be trying to have everything in place so all i have to do tomorrow when i get home is find something for din, an sleep. being alone does not scare me as much as seeing my friends does. but i am going to face both an i need to learn to man up. :) get some movies or pick some to watch, an lay in bed. maybe sit out with the dogs for a bit. what scares me the most is the world that is out there. what i will face, who i will face, an what it will throw my way. this is an adventure an emotions are all part of it. it is the last session, the last 24 hours, an the last of the last, beginning of the beginning. this is my life.
i slept really good last night. i even got to sleep in. i think that they had tried waking me up an i would not budge. lol. i did not go to pt til 11. yep. i had pt til 6, so he also ate din with me.
tomorrow i go home. it is so weird. why? because i cannot remember what it is like to be outside these walls. i am not sure i remember what my house looks like. it will be weird not having all this stuff, machines an such, an people, nurses lpns techs therapist guards, coming an going all through out the day an night, helping me, supporting me.
i sent a lot of my stuff home today. i just hope i can find it tomorrow. i wish i could take a few of these blankets home. they are pretty amazing!
tomorrow holds a lot for me. it scares me an excites me at the same time. it excites me because i will finally be free to call people an get calls, skype, travel, an so much more. it scares me because tomorrow i have to start doing a lot of things, hard things on my own.
this is when spoons will really be treated the way they are meant to be, cuz no longer will i have the resources to use spoons like nothing. tomorrow i will probably have10-15 spoons. this is how they will probably be used :
waking up, sitting up, getting out of bed, eating, going to the bathroom, showering, getting ready, packing what is left, saying good bye, going from room to my ride home, traveling, greeting the dogs, making my bed fit to sleep, washing dishes, making dinner, unpacking, letting the dogs out, going to the bathroom, then going to bed.
i am not sure if that is 15 but that is my day. i may get to drop a few from the list, but i may have to add some too. an choosing wht to do could mean either i miss a meal, the dogs do not get to go potty, or i sleep in the chair.
monday my brother alan is leaving the house to live somewhere else for a bit. both my brothers are gone for the weekend, as my sister told me, when she sent me a message telling me she left me a dvd player. i have no clue what that is. i asked her an she thinks i am being an idiot. or so she called me one.
so there will be no one at my house. i am trying to see if a friend is going to come over, an if not then i am going to block an lock my door until my dad gets home from work. also it means that i have to figure out food an other things for myself. my dad said he has turkey in the freezer but that i cannot touch it. but there is sandwhich stuff in the fridge. so i may be eating balone-knee for a while. or until i can get enough spoons saved to actually cook myself. wait i am not going to cook myself, i am going to cook food.
i do not have the energy to travel somewhere else for the night. tho i am really excited to start seeing people an fresh faces.
i have had the joy of wearing socks around the hospital, but sadly i have to give them back. i have flip flops which are easy to put on an off, but i have a feeling i may need to do some shopping before mid dec.
last night, most of what is in this blog, plus more just really got to me. i know i am not supposed to be strong all the time, an nor down all the time, but when i get really really down, people act as if i have no reason to be, an tell me, basically, to get over it. the canady's were awesome tho. they stepped in an protected me. in a way, lol. the best thing that made me cry from laughing so hard, was mama canady dancing. it was not that it was funny, it was funny, but it was because she danced, just for me. it was great. one day i will dance with her, an then bambam can laugh all she wants, but she will soon realize that she needs to dance with us too. lol, no joke. or something like that. haha.
bambam made me cry too. she is one of the sweetest, kindest, big hearted people i know. she cares so much an loves even more. i cannot wait to be part of the family, no joke. one thing tho, that i am not sure about, is the limp noodle thing. i think she told me she is go to hit me with spaghetti, which is weird.
i have support. i have friends. i have family.. i have protectors. i am becoming ok with not being strong, with not being able to support an protect myself. an when i am strong an can, i am ok having those days where i just cannot. if that is getable.
piglet is awesome. just say. her mom in law is now my friend on facebook. her name is um debbie? she said she is go help me with pt, an she is have me for breakfast. i do not think she is go eat me, i think she is go feed me! yay!
piglet has be answer lot of my asks. no joke. an when i ask some, i ask tough stuff. lol. she tried explain what church, christian, bird, an some other stuff is to me.
i ask other people hard questions too. sometimes it is a question ihave already ask them but do not remember doing so. ash was ask me if i member month or two ago, an i said i do not.
it has been 3 months that i have been here. and i am told tht since july i have been more in the hospital than out of it.
so this god thing. i like the ideas of the god of the bible...well i am saying i do, cuz for some reason i do, even tho i cannot remember that reason. lol. i do not mind people talk about god. i want to learn, i need to learn. i have been invited to church, not sure if i can go. i would like to go see what a church is, what happens in church.
tomorrow will be here sooner than i think. i am overwhelmed by emotions of all sorts. i hve rapid heart beat an murmurs, n my heart is racing. it am weak tho my body almost looks like its normal self i think. but i am strong willed. finally time i admitted it. my main concern should be trying to have everything in place so all i have to do tomorrow when i get home is find something for din, an sleep. being alone does not scare me as much as seeing my friends does. but i am going to face both an i need to learn to man up. :) get some movies or pick some to watch, an lay in bed. maybe sit out with the dogs for a bit. what scares me the most is the world that is out there. what i will face, who i will face, an what it will throw my way. this is an adventure an emotions are all part of it. it is the last session, the last 24 hours, an the last of the last, beginning of the beginning. this is my life.
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