ash told me that she wanted details. last night i did not go into stuff much because i was tired, frustrated, hurting, and most of all, tired. i was not sure i would have the spoons to finish the blog post before i fell sleep.
i had text jess because i figured she would still be up an i wanted to make sure i could get in the house. if i could not, i was either going to sit outside on the porch all night or crash on piglets couch with the dogs an the crying pup. i was joking with piglet an shortie an i said you should talk the jones into giving it to me as a christmas present. lol. but i was kidding. one, i think my dad would You me, an two, i am sure it belongs to someone, she had a basically brand new collar on. tho i would love to have a pup, i think bubbles would not be too happy sharing me with nyone but elvis an stardust. she is going to flip when she smells all the dogs on me. i walked in the door an cady was UT me like crazy, she smelt the pup on me.
we were leaving piglets an piglet had a hold of the back of my jacket. she did not want me falling down the steps. she also followed me up to the door. i use my cane veggie i step down. to check for any slip spots an to make sure i am safe. it is one of the hardest things to tell myself, cane raise your foot place on step an push up. sometimes i have to think about it alot more than usu. but piglet wanted to make sure i did not fall.
according to the radar we were in the middle of a snow storm but it was not doing anything outside. boo, and it still is doing nothing. tho there is still a chance.
i need to do laundry, or at least wash my sweats, pj bottoms, hoodies, an towel. i need to wash my blanket too, but that can wait. cady got sick today an walked all in it an then came in an decided to lay all over my blanket. if i had my trunks, i would give cady a bath. it cannot be that much different from trying to give one of our two dogs a bath, right?! it takes 3 of us to get elvis in the tub an two to keep him in it, and it only takes me to drag bubbles into the tub, but she will stay once she is in it. she hates getting her teeth brushed, an it is funny watchig elvis run an then think the toothpaste is attacking him. bubbles gets a shower an elvis gets a bath. and i usu take a shower right after because dogs are dirty, yuck.
jess was watching good luck charlie christmas special, and it finished i had finished my blog post for the day an i went to sleep. i turned the tv off, an i was out. i woke at 1 something, then 358, an the 545. this time i took my time to get around an take things in. it was so hard to get my eyes open. i got up an stood almost falling right back down. i could barely walk but i managed. i went an sat with ash. i did not eat any eggs because at the moment she asked i was not hungry, an plus when i am asleep it bothers me. stephen lost his hat, i hope he finds it.
they left an i came in an watched frostys wonderland, cady layed on one cushon of the couch an i on the other two. she stayed there most the morning. after frosty i went to sleep for about an hour an a half, then i was woke up, then i feel back sleep an woke up around 10. then i half slept til round 11. i got up an decided i needed to get up an about an stop being so lazy. i went to the bath room an then fixed breakfaast. i had a banana or most of one, an a bowl of lucky charms. i finished off the box. i think it was going stael. i took my vitamins.
the b ones are good for my brain an for metabolism an energy...the multivitamin is the smae way, plus more.
jess came out to the living room, an i turned on the tv. the fox an the hound is what i am watching. cady is in the same spot she was this am.
i am waiting to go to piglets. we are going to go to the dog park an i was posed to ask to take cady alone, so we will see.
so side note - jess an ash got flash cards, i am still not sure what they are going to do with them but i have faith... i was thinking while eating breakfast, when it comes to colors if they wrote the color on one card an then put the color either on another card or just used something that had the colors on them, it might help me learn colors. with letters tho if they use pictures i will um ascociate the letter with the picture an whaat ever the picture may be i will just think the letter is the name of the picture.
yesterday i killed my legs. i would do pt on my own but i do not remember anything we did during pt in the hospital. my memory is bits an pieces, and the most i can remember if not brought to rememberance by a conversation or something else, is maybe 2 days. an that is stretching it. i need to start excercising my brain an body everyday, an walking is good but that is not what is going to help me.
i layer my clothes on purpose, i always have 3-4 shirts on, because it makes me look a lil bigger than i am. shorts an baggy pants. my upper legs are ok, not too small, but my lower legs are still small, tho i can feel muscle building in it. my arms are still small. real small. like you can make out the bones and it looks real gross when my arm flexes n you see the muscle...it is gross. no joke. i really have not got that much color back.
i think my coloring is getting better. i try reall hard not to just scribble. but really that is all i want to do is scribble.
my hair seems to be growing slower, an staying thin. which is to be expected i guess.
i am not sure where i will be monday, i am supposed to stay in st joe for atleast one night during this month, an posed to be soon, but i will deal with the consequences later if it does not happen. kara is posed to be getting back to me, there is osmething wrong with their car, an so they are not sure if i will be visiting or not.
if it was not for the fact that i have to be in st joe for atleast one week every month, that i need the lil money i get from my job in st jo, and some other factors i would love to stay in moberly. not that i am okay with the town, but i love who i am with and being here has let me put down my guard a lot. and to be honest it is nice to have someone else in teh house at night for more than two nights. last night i did get scared, .... i am pathetic.
I decided to pick up a bit...it was the least I could do, plus there were not enough dishes for me to run water to wash the one that was dirty.most of the clutter around here is my fault. I try to clean up after myself but sometimes the kid in me says, get I am done with this time for that, and I just go leaving everything as is. I need to stop doing that. No joke.
As I was picking up I let Cady out and no to long after Stephen got home. We watched Tom and Jerry for a while...it was nice. Then piglet texted me and said she was on her way.
The plan was I would be back for super and to watch a movie with him or whoever was here....but then I was taken hostage by piglet...and Stephen was like I will pay her ransom....it was a captive war and I am in the middle of it.
Well ended up eating half a sandwich at piglets....then eating some hard boiled eggs.
The pup is in love with me....no joke. It was chewing in my cane an left a few dents. Then she bit me.
We played, our piglet played a card game one which I did not get...boo on me.then we played memory...she won but I got a few matches. Then she read. I like the sorry but it as hard to hear over Carl and Paul. Then piglet and I talked. Bout spoons....and etc. I try to plan out every detail of my day so I know how many spoons i will have for extra stuff. But then there are those days where I wake up and find that that may be the only thing I am doing.that day....our I may find that I have a few more spoons then planned. And usu on the days where I think I will not have extra spoons I find I do and vice versa.
I know it is hard to deal with me and my situation but I always try to make it as easy for everyone as I can. Tho sometimes I feel that it is not my job to do so.
Piglet left for like an hour an a half. After 30 mins...i started to get freaked. There are certain people in every place that I go that are like my safety blanket....when they disappear I can only take so long before I start freaking...the time depends on where I am at and who is around. By the hour mark I was talky freaking. An hour an 20 mins an I was ready to cry and I was about to text Stephen to ask him to come get me and then piglet walled in. took me a while to settle down.
Finally we left. as we were going out the door I stepped down and lost my balance....i bout fell back but I caught my self. I an not going to lie...walking and/or standing while trying to keep my balance is really hard. I try all the time esp around others to not fall or stumble. Mainly because it is embarrassing when it happens an because people would prob freak out which would freak me out. Which means more stress. I think in a way I am trying to prove to others that I am fine...tho I am not. ..
So I am home now...Stephen is in bed...ash at work..boo...jess doing something...and I am watching flash point. Then bed.
Tomorrow I plan on doing a load of laundry, hanging out with Stephen and others maybe, but I do not plan on doing much. But that not much will become a blog post. As it usu does. :-) i had text jess because i figured she would still be up an i wanted to make sure i could get in the house. if i could not, i was either going to sit outside on the porch all night or crash on piglets couch with the dogs an the crying pup. i was joking with piglet an shortie an i said you should talk the jones into giving it to me as a christmas present. lol. but i was kidding. one, i think my dad would You me, an two, i am sure it belongs to someone, she had a basically brand new collar on. tho i would love to have a pup, i think bubbles would not be too happy sharing me with nyone but elvis an stardust. she is going to flip when she smells all the dogs on me. i walked in the door an cady was UT me like crazy, she smelt the pup on me.
we were leaving piglets an piglet had a hold of the back of my jacket. she did not want me falling down the steps. she also followed me up to the door. i use my cane veggie i step down. to check for any slip spots an to make sure i am safe. it is one of the hardest things to tell myself, cane raise your foot place on step an push up. sometimes i have to think about it alot more than usu. but piglet wanted to make sure i did not fall.
according to the radar we were in the middle of a snow storm but it was not doing anything outside. boo, and it still is doing nothing. tho there is still a chance.
i need to do laundry, or at least wash my sweats, pj bottoms, hoodies, an towel. i need to wash my blanket too, but that can wait. cady got sick today an walked all in it an then came in an decided to lay all over my blanket. if i had my trunks, i would give cady a bath. it cannot be that much different from trying to give one of our two dogs a bath, right?! it takes 3 of us to get elvis in the tub an two to keep him in it, and it only takes me to drag bubbles into the tub, but she will stay once she is in it. she hates getting her teeth brushed, an it is funny watchig elvis run an then think the toothpaste is attacking him. bubbles gets a shower an elvis gets a bath. and i usu take a shower right after because dogs are dirty, yuck.
jess was watching good luck charlie christmas special, and it finished i had finished my blog post for the day an i went to sleep. i turned the tv off, an i was out. i woke at 1 something, then 358, an the 545. this time i took my time to get around an take things in. it was so hard to get my eyes open. i got up an stood almost falling right back down. i could barely walk but i managed. i went an sat with ash. i did not eat any eggs because at the moment she asked i was not hungry, an plus when i am asleep it bothers me. stephen lost his hat, i hope he finds it.
they left an i came in an watched frostys wonderland, cady layed on one cushon of the couch an i on the other two. she stayed there most the morning. after frosty i went to sleep for about an hour an a half, then i was woke up, then i feel back sleep an woke up around 10. then i half slept til round 11. i got up an decided i needed to get up an about an stop being so lazy. i went to the bath room an then fixed breakfaast. i had a banana or most of one, an a bowl of lucky charms. i finished off the box. i think it was going stael. i took my vitamins.
the b ones are good for my brain an for metabolism an energy...the multivitamin is the smae way, plus more.
jess came out to the living room, an i turned on the tv. the fox an the hound is what i am watching. cady is in the same spot she was this am.
i am waiting to go to piglets. we are going to go to the dog park an i was posed to ask to take cady alone, so we will see.
so side note - jess an ash got flash cards, i am still not sure what they are going to do with them but i have faith... i was thinking while eating breakfast, when it comes to colors if they wrote the color on one card an then put the color either on another card or just used something that had the colors on them, it might help me learn colors. with letters tho if they use pictures i will um ascociate the letter with the picture an whaat ever the picture may be i will just think the letter is the name of the picture.
yesterday i killed my legs. i would do pt on my own but i do not remember anything we did during pt in the hospital. my memory is bits an pieces, and the most i can remember if not brought to rememberance by a conversation or something else, is maybe 2 days. an that is stretching it. i need to start excercising my brain an body everyday, an walking is good but that is not what is going to help me.
i layer my clothes on purpose, i always have 3-4 shirts on, because it makes me look a lil bigger than i am. shorts an baggy pants. my upper legs are ok, not too small, but my lower legs are still small, tho i can feel muscle building in it. my arms are still small. real small. like you can make out the bones and it looks real gross when my arm flexes n you see the muscle...it is gross. no joke. i really have not got that much color back.
i think my coloring is getting better. i try reall hard not to just scribble. but really that is all i want to do is scribble.
my hair seems to be growing slower, an staying thin. which is to be expected i guess.
i am not sure where i will be monday, i am supposed to stay in st joe for atleast one night during this month, an posed to be soon, but i will deal with the consequences later if it does not happen. kara is posed to be getting back to me, there is osmething wrong with their car, an so they are not sure if i will be visiting or not.
if it was not for the fact that i have to be in st joe for atleast one week every month, that i need the lil money i get from my job in st jo, and some other factors i would love to stay in moberly. not that i am okay with the town, but i love who i am with and being here has let me put down my guard a lot. and to be honest it is nice to have someone else in teh house at night for more than two nights. last night i did get scared, .... i am pathetic.
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