downtown

i do not know what time we went to bed. everyone else was in their rooms an i on the couch an i was going to watch some cartoons, well first i droped my phone, then i was moving the fan an dropped that, i felt so bad, i did not want to wake ash an i did not want to freak anyone out. so i turned it off an went to sleep.
before all that, i know i go backwards a lot, piglet did come. haha, not that i did not think she would, but it was late, so it was understandable if she would not have. her jess an i were sit at the table, an i felt bad for interupting jess. they talked an i listend an then tuned out, which i feel bad about saying. but when you start talking god an stuff i got confused an frustrated an so i tune out. piglet an i worked on numbers an letters. we came to the end of it an she is like well if you do not get this right all of it, then no chapter tonight, an you will be redoing it til you get it right. i was frustrated, but i did it. some of my stuff had been going backwards an not right. but no matter how someone does it, in my head things look all weird. esp if i change hands. i do it how i see it. an it is always changing. which sucks cuz no one is going to understand that, but it means i get stuff backwards or weird.
it is a bit creepy but i like to look at people, yes i am a creep, but people are so pretty, so the way most people see others, i see others as if they are the most amazing diamond ever. so i stare. get over it. an i love hearing people talk, it is like music, no joke. 
but i worked real hard. i had to stop an just stare at the paper to see what the number or letter really looked like, i was sooo frustrated that i almost cried, lol, no joke. but i did my best or the best that i could try an do an ash read a chapter to me.
stephen came home....he does not lie when he says he smells like his work, no joke :P. he is one funny kid. no joke. let me see what all i have got him into, angry birds, word with friends, hanging with friends, and prob some other stuff. it is funny.

i guess i have a strong um influence on people. lol. cuz after jasi explained the spoon thing i have started coining the term an others have asked me a bout it an now it seems a lot of my friends are using it. it is always funny to hear a few things like how do you eat, go to the store an get some more....it is funny. having no energy or spoons is not.

yesterday was fun but tiring. i should have spoons to do stuff, but for some reason there never seem to be enough. i did not think i was going to be able to change into pjs last night or even take my shoes off. i did it anyways. a lil pushing is not bad for me. but it got to the point where i started being a bit whiny and asked stuff like are we going to walk far? can i stay in the car? can you just knock me out now...oke i did not ask that one but i was close to it.
i love playing with the animals, petting them helps build muscle in the arms. and it just makes me happy. they say animals are a good tool for healing. i love watching my dogs play. bubbles will get all excited an start running around the house like she was on a horse track. i will go in an she will get in a playing position and i will get closer to her an she will take off. i really like when she gets on her back an squirms around, she is always so happy, an the best is when she does that in bed right next to me, mainly to greet me.
cady is great too. but i do not think that she likes me that much mainly because i cannot talk. i randomly hummed yesterday an that is when she got on the bed with me. but unless someone else is around talking she has not much to do with me. haha. which is fine. i guess. lol.

i layed down an i closed my eyes an that is all i remember. i was not meaning to wake up as early as i did but i did. it was on time too. haha. i did tell ash that i would eat breakfast with her. and i do like to keep my word.

today my legs hurt a lot. an it is hard to walk or even stand. i can only stand a minute or two an then my legs start shaking. i try to do good in walking an standing. it is really hard. i try to make it look like it is easy but when i am walking i have to tell myself step step step an keep your feet apart, if i do not then my feet get close an i trip myself. still happens. i have not learned to pick my feet up all the time. it is hard. i need to start doing some of my pt exercises in the mornings an start stretching my legs. no joke.

my whole family makes me feel bad. my granma is so old. so amazing. and i hope she is alright. my brother dustin was not kicked out after all. my dad said they made a contract, an he gets to stay. boo. my aunt, idk what her issue is. i left clear things on what to do with my car. it was not hard. yet, tho i love them, i do not feel bad for anyone but stardust bubbles an elvis. no joke.

ash an i an stephen an tons of others are all going to the light hing tonight. it is ash an i date. lol.

i a wearing 5 layers, well not in jeans an stuff. in mainly shirts. shorts an jeans. and today, today i am cold. lol. i usu do not say anything but today i am cold. piglet said the other night it did not look like i was wearing 5 layers. but i was. tonight i think i will put on my warm jeans. being cold, really cold takes spoons. lol.

so today i will be having fun. saturday it is supposed to snow into sunday. it will be fun to see snow. i sorta wish it would snow a lot so we would get snowed in. lol...an cuddle. :D ....i know i dream big but dreaming big means big motivation. that is right, i control the weather. lol. jk.

ash asked about coloring books. i have not colored in one. all the books with pictures that i have seen already have color, someone already colored in them. there is this color in my box that is the color of paper an i tried using it but it is out of ink. it does not work an is broken. i broke a crayon last night, first one ever. and i tore the paper. boo on me.

i really like being here. i like being around friends. i love being around ash an stephen an piglet. i feel comfy. at peace. ash thinks she talks too much but it is not true. i love listening to her. stephen does not talk enough. lol. i just do not know if it is hard for him to try to communicate or what. haha. i guess he feels the same as me. it is frustrating. lol. texting does do a lot of good tho. and so do yes an no questions. i wish that the word i could say was not yes an something else. lol.

i am sitting here watching the village. i guess jess thot it was scary. i thot it was too for the longest time but it is not scary. the town people in it are sick an twisted, that is fo sho. it is more of a love story. lol.

so i may take a nap today, who knows. or i may just do some pt on my own. this was one of the first mornins where it took me less than 15 mins to remember stuff. walking took me a bit of time. but i was up an ready by time it was time for ash an breakfast.

i talked stephen into staying home...yay...us time...it is always great! no joke

i took cady out an decided to set my cane on the steps, it fell down the steps...that was fun trying to get it. haha. i got it tho. i am not sure about steps but i do them anyways. yesterday when i was trying to fix something to eat, which btw was all good, i had the hardest time. lol. those containers were heavy, the tea was heavy. i finally just left my cane in the kitchen an used everyhting i had to cary stuff back an forth. i am not one to complain tho. i did it an that ws that.

so now we will see how the rest the day goes an you will hear about it later.. :D